Judge Steven Kirkland in Houston was the first out LGBT judges elected in Texas, and one of only two LGBT district court judges currently serving in the state.  Kirkland is an excellent judge and in the interest of fairness, I will let you know that he’s a friend of mine and a friend of every justice-loving cowpoke in the state.

Judge Kirkland is so honest that you could play dice with him over the telephone.  However, some damn writ twit got hacked off because he lost a case in Kirkland’s court.  So, this writ twit recruited and funded (to the tune of $35,000 reported so far) an opponent against Kirkland in the Democratic primary.  The best the writ twit could do is a woman named Elaine Palmer and she’s a no-class nincompoop.

Palmer did robo calls on Easter wishing everybody a Happy Easter and Vote For Me.  It was like having the bunny come to your house, hide eggs, then find them all before you do, then sit and eat them in front of you doing a bunny-hiss warning  while chewing.  Or maybe show up with his basket of goodies and then thumb his nose at you.  Or something.  Whatever it was, it was tasteless.

So now Ms. Palmer has moved into the world of surreal bullcorn.  She has done a mass email touting her candidacy.  In this email, she lists some of her supporters.  Apparently, she has at least half a dozen.  Maybe a full dozen – it depends on her mood that day.

Her email contains a picture of an Asian couple with the cutline, “The Nguyens are now proud supporters of Elaine Palmer for Judge.”

That’s real nice.

Except the couple isn’t Vietnamese.  They’re Malaysian.

And they don’t live here.  They live in Malaysia.

Their photo was taken taken by Tan Wei Ming and uploaded to this stock photo website.

I am not kidding you.

Okay, so that got me to thinking.

I’ve always wanted to be one of those highly paid political consultants who use politics for a grudge match, so I came up with some more supporters for Elaine Palmer for Judge.

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I’ll be sending a bill to Elaine Palmer for helping her get these supporters.  And the next time she wants to get involved in a grudge match and be a pawn for a idiot lawyer, have her call me first and I’ll get her some estrogen because apparently she’s a quart or two low.

And that’s the damn truth.