I had lunch at Dairy Queen this afternoon and I kinda wish I hadn’t because Alfredo was spittin’ and snortin’ over his $5 a month bank charge for using his debit card.

I know that the Republican Party feels that if only banks had more money to hoard, everything would be just fine. But, I’m glad the banks are spreading a little of that hoarded money around to buy protection, cause Lord knows, they are gonna need it if we ever elect Alfredo to office.

Nothing can be said about banks that hasn’t already been said more eloquently about hemorrhoids.

Take Credit Suisse, for example.

Credit Suisse said in a statement from its Zurich headquarters that it had “received a letter notifying it that it is a target” of a U.S. Justice Department investigation concerning “historical private banking services provided on a cross-border basis to U.S. persons.”

Don’t you just love that tax evasion has been replaced with the much nicer sounding “historical private banking services”?

Anyway, the minute they heard that they were under investigation, Credit Suisse started throwing money at Congress.  Cantor got $2,500.  Pete Sessions in Texas got $5,000.  Charlie Rangle got $5,000.  But most disgusting of all is that Max Bachus got $5,000.  Is it really okay for the Chairman of the House Financial Services Committee to accept a $5,000 campaign check from a bank about to be indicted for tax evasion?  If so, is this a great country or what?

And then there’s HSBC.

Sept 28 (Reuters) – The United States heaped more pressure on HSBC Holdings, Europe’s second-largest bank, on Wednesday with an indictment that laid out the role of two unnamed senior HSBC executives in providing tax evasion services to Americans born in India.

But they are still in business with your local congressmutt.   Jeb Hensarling got a grand from them and a big GOP PAC got $2,500.

And the minute you even mention Phil Gramm’s bank, UBS, around Alfredo, he goes off like a rocket in a campfire.  Here’s just the very latest kickbacks to congress from the crookedest bank on earth.

Now what you need to remember is that these “campaign donations” are tax free and they can spend it however they want to — hell, they can even buy a yacht with it like our own Randy Neugebauer did.

So, while we Occupy Wall Street, Wall Street is occupying congress.  And, banks aren’t making loans because they’ve got it all hidden overseas in tax free accounts.

Friends, it’s been raining for 39 days and we ain’t built an ark.

So, the next time your congressman tries to shake you hand, don’t do it.  You don’t know where that hand has been.