Do you know the difference between Bill White and a trampoline?  I take off my shoes before I jump on a trampoline.

I make it a rule not to get involved in Houston’s politics.  I was born and raised in Houston but I don’t live there now.  The rest of my family does.  I do not like it when when politicos from Houston come to Fort Bend county and try to use their influence here, so I get some sanctimony points by staying quiet about their races.

I am making my first exception to the rule.  Bill White has earned it. He can kiss my big blue butt.

(Momma, do not read any further than this because because I’m fixing to pitch a 4 bars of soap walleyed snot nosed screamin’ hissy fit.)

I am friends with Houston City Council Member Jolanda Jones.   Jo is former track star, a lawyer, and a bomb thrower.  She leaves a trail of pissed off people where ever she goes, and by gawd, I love her for that.  When Jo gets up in the morning, the devil cringes and says, “Oh crap, she’s up.”  Jo is smart.   Jo is afraid of nobody and no thing.  She meaner than ten acres of snakes and nobody, I mean nobody, represents the needs of her constituents better than Jo does – all while wearing 5 inch heels and the biggest damn earrings on planet earth.  I swear, it takes some serious welding to make her earrings.

Even the conservative Houston Chronicle endorsed her, acknowledging that she gets things done.

You would not want a council filled with Jo Joneses, but if you don’t have at least one, the voices of the lame, the lost, and the last generally don’t get heard.

Jo is an unapologetic Democrat.  She has two opponents:  a conservative African American female and an even more conservative Republican white male.

Enter Bill White.  Bill White is the former chair of the Texas Democratic Party, former mayor of Houston, and most recently the Democratic candidate for Governor of Texas against Rick Perry.

Bill White

I was not thrilled with Bill White as a candidate for Texas Governor because the guy is as boring as school play your kid isn’t in.  I mean, sometimes you have to put your finger under his nose to see if he’s still alive.  But, dammit, I’m a Democrat so I went out and supported him, gave him money, handed out his yardsigns, made phone calls for him, and block walked for him.  I even asked friends from out of state to send him money.

Earlier this week, Bill White publicly endorsed the Republican white male in this race.

And here’s why that has got me so hot that if I didn’t sweat I’d catch on fire.

Any gravitas or weight that a Bill White endorsement gives any candidate comes from the Democratic base who got out and supported Bill White.   We are the ones who give Bill White importance.  He did not do that in a vacuum.  We are the ones who make his endorsement worth anything more than cornflake or jello recipes.

Any power a Bill White endorsement carries came from us, and now I have to say that I’ve seen cottonmouth rattlers more trustworthy than he is.

I was at a very cool female sponsored Democratic event in Houston last night.  I got into a conversation with one of my favorite male elected officials  in Houston.  I asked him what he thought of the Bill White endorsement.  “What a dick,” he replied.

Indeed, what a dick.