There ain’t no hoochy-koochy in Texas among teenagers.  We have the least sparkin’ teenagers in the whole damn United States of America.  That’s why our Attorney General, Greg Abbott, once again refused to file for a federal grant to fund sex education for teenagers.  We don’t need it.  Our teenagers are all virgins.

Which is prettty damn amazing considering that we have the highest teenager birth rate in the country.  Obviously, they’re getting pregnant from public toilet seats.  We don’t have a sex problem.  We have a public toilet seat problem.

The Super DeLux Brand Steeple People believe that if you educate teenagers about sex, they’ll have some.  However, if you don’t tell them about sex, they’ll never, ever figure out how that telephone pole got into the ground.

Teen pregnancies are costing Texas taxpayers one billion dollars a year.  You’d think that the rightwing would hate the money part more than they hate the sex part.

Juanita thinks they don’t want sex education because then they’ll find out that they’ve been doing it wrong.

Thanks to MaryK for the heads up.