We here in Texas are not just against marijuana, were are damn tootin’ dead solid perfect against marijuana.

Texas’s own Republican Congresscreep Lamar Smith, who represents a district that goes from outside of Austin and San Antonio all the way to Leakey, has wiggled his way into getting the House Judiciary Committee to pass his bill that would make US Law global.

The Dude Looks High To Me

The new law would make it a federal crime to plan activities on foreign land that would violate the federal Controlled Substances Act (CSA) even if the activities are legal in that country. To put it simply, if you are an American citizen and you smoke marijuana in a country where it is legal, you would be arrested when you return. It gets worse, you could be arrested for even talking about smoking marijuana in a nation where it is legal.

So, in some cases, it appears that they can arrest you for even thinking about smoking pot on vacation, because Lamar Smith has control of your butt no matter where you are.  You know how when you’re in the shower and you start thinking about smoking some dope when you go to Jamaica next summer and then suddenly the shower has a blast of very cold water?  Lamar Smith.

I am not saying that this deal isn’t a gasket blower on the weird meter, but it gets even weirder.

Lamar Smith is chairman of the House Judiciary Committee.   Chairman.  He’s the damn chairman.  He thinks he’s the lizard king, thinks ZZ Top has given him the keys to the Magic Hot Rod, and has been transfused with some of Charlie Sheen’s tiger blood.

As my friend Nancy says, “Making Lamar Smith chairman of the Judiciary Committee is  like making Michelle Bachmann chairman of the House Intelligence Committee.”  Neither of them have the required neuron synapses going on.

Hey Lamar, kiss my butt.  I’m thinking about getting on Willie’s tour bus and …. omg, Lamar Smith, protector of the world, just parachuted into my study with a district court order, three Navajo Code Talkers, and a predator mind drone.

Thanks to Nancy for the heads up.