Can’t Buy Me Love, No, No, No, No
So Rick Perry has a truckload of rich white boys’ money and everybody is yabbering about it.
It don’t mean diddle squat, Honey.
As the good folks over at the Houston Press Hairballs column will testify, Rick ain’t the first Texan to squander political money. Democrats still like to get together and giggle about the time John Connally spent $12 million and got one delegate, a 68 year old woman from Arkansas, who was clearly lying about her age. It wasn’t long afterward that Connally went belly-up and had to sell his wife’s china and fur coats.
And then there’s that goofy looking son of a motherless goat Phil Gramm, who could not buy a date at the chicken ranch with a chicken under each arm and a $20 bill taped to his forehead.
And then old Lloyd Bentsen amassed a fortune that got him the dubious honor of being Michael Dukakis’ vice-presidential running mate. Of course, it did buy him a chance to spank Dan Quayle publicly, which is something, but not enough for what he paid.
That’s the problem with Texas men. Most of them can raise a chunk-a-change but have not a clue how to spend it.
Perry should spend his on books and someone to read them to him, but he won’t. He’ll buy goofy looking boots and more guns to shoot them with.