Here’s the front page of the Houston Chronicle today.  (Click the little one to see the big one.)

Drought Costs Farmers, Rancher $5.2 Billion.  And that’s not even counting busted water mains all over Houston and Dallas, house foundations cracking like a cement symphony across the state, and people croaking because they get too hot to sweat.

It is 102 degrees outside my door and that’s actual thermometer degrees, not liberal conspiracy wimpy heat index degrees.  However, that was the last time I checked.  I can’t go outside very often today because on top of the heat, we’re having an ozone alert.

And the last time we had rain was Noah’s flood.

But, take a look at the other side of that front page: Rick Perry does not believe that global warming is real.  No, sireeee.  That’s just more of that liberal hippie stuff that real scientists at Oral Roberts University have a grant from Shell Oil Company to disprove.

So what’s causing all this mess we got?  Maybe it was an Act of God, like the BP oil spill.

I understand that Rick is up where it is nice and cool in New Hampshire and even imported some hay from Texas so he could show off his boots.  I guess he didn’t think that Texas cows might need that hay.

I’m hot, Rick, and not just under the collar.

So could you kinda fess up that all your praying for rain didn’t work and that maybe Texas farmers and ranchers might need some federal help?  Else maybe we should park your worthless butt over in Paskel’s pasture to spend a few days with Elsie and Belle, trying to find shade and water.

By the way, Rick, here’s the forecast for ozone oozing Houston today.

The Texas Miracle is how we’re surviving in this damn weather.