.

Michelle Bachmann is determined to make everyone behave her way, dammit, even if it means bringing back slavery.

Michelle signed a … well, I dunno what to call it … how about a Sanctimonious Statement from the Belles of Heaven Republican Women’s Brigade, perhaps.  It’s an extraordinary document that’s damned and determined to remind us that Newt is so good at marriage that he’d done it three times, Romney belongs to some cult thing, and that Bristol  Palin didn’t spend enough time in slavery.

There’s probably only about 6 Republicans who could sign this sucker without going straight to hell for lying.  Even then, I think you can go straight to hell for even signing it because it is evil.

You can click here to read it.  I’ll wait for you to get back.  I hope you can get to the part that says that “Robust childbearing and reproduction is beneficial to U.S. demographic, economic, strategic, and actuarial health and security” (emphasis theirs) before you start throwing up.

Yes, it is good to reproduce.  Unless, that is, if you are poor or black.

Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA‟s first African-American President.

That’s just a cracker infested insult to all that is holy.  Slavery tore African American families apart.  Children were ripped away from their parents and sold for profit.  You’d think they’d know that from studying history, and if they didn’t study history, you’d think they at least watched Roots.

I’m practically certain that everyone is going to find something creepy in that document.   I think the whole thing is two shades meaner than the devil himself.

“Honey, I’d rather eat red beans with a pitchfork than live like Michelle Bachmann wants me to,” Juanita says.  “I mean, each to their own, but I think being married to a gay man would be very boring unless you’re another gay man.  Of course, Michelle Bachmann would know more about that than I do.”

Thanks to Laura and Ralph for the heads up.