Don the Con is here today on the Left Coast, trying to scare up more voters with the countdown to November 5th getting lower than his approval ratings here.

I’m kidding.

Von Shitzenpantz has no more voters here that are available to persuasion. Not. One.

But grifters gotta grift, and there are vast treasures in the California desert to rake in.

So Coachella it is, and it is today that another sheep shearing has been scheduled to replenish The Don’s dwindling lucre. Because it has come to this: swing state voters have lost their allure for Bronzer Boy. They’re in flyover states, for one, and for another, that’s not where the money is. It’s next door in Orange County. And it’s definitely in Rancho Mirage, a mere stone’s throw from Coachella Valley.

So, if you’re going to the Calhoun Ranch today to see TFG at his massive rally, bring lots of cash for bibles, trading cards, high tops, watches, and TFG water. And the weather is perfect! It’ll only be a mild 102°F (39°C) today.