So a couple of days ago, I was at the beauty shop fixing a leak under Thelma’s sink when I heard a loud groan that came from Juanita, Thelma, and all of their customers. I looked up at Juanita Jean, and all I could see was disgust.

“Here’s a little known fact,” she spat, “Cruz doesn’t have skin.  He’s just a sack of bones held together by unearned arrogance.”

Then, seeing me look puzzled, she pointed to the 19″ black and white TV she has mounted on the wall above the mirrors.

A news segment on KTRK had just ended.

By all accounts, it was a good one, so I did the Google later on, and this is what I found (click on the link, if you want, to hear it all, but I extracted the relevant discussion below).

https://abc13.com/videoClip/14608956/

Shannon Ryan, who is hot, by the way, asked Cruz a question that I swear caused steam to blow out of his ear holes:

“So if an entity which employs lobbyists is giving hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to your re-election efforts, how can you say that you are not being compensated?”

Ted answered in a way that directly addressed the apparent conflict of interest presented by his iHeartMedia arrangement.

I’m kidding.

He responded: “Heh heh, you know it really is sad…uh..what’s happened to the media. Which is the media exists right now, seemingly to parrot left-wing Democrat attacks. The group that brought that attack (…hold on a second lemme answer your question…you asked the question…I know you’re not asking about it). The group that brought that attack is a left-wing Democrat attack group, and by the way, you know what you didn’t mention in your question? The fact that they filed a complaint with the Senate Ethics Committee raising these same issues…you know what the Senate Ethics Committee did? They threw it out. They said ‘it has no basis in law…”

They then cut to a more Cruz-friendly scene of adoring voters, voiced over by hot hot Shannon Ryan, explaining that the complaint was filed in 2022, well before Cruz’s PAC received its $630,000 cut of the podcast’s ad revenue.

So I guess if Ted Cruz had any skin at all, that would have definitely gotten under his. And like his previous Cancun adventure, this doesn’t appear to be going away anytime soon.

Summing it all up, Juanita quipped, “You know what else she didn’t mention, he’s a block away from being justifiably punchable. That video was pretty spectacular, though.”