.

Juanita freely admits that her favorite color is shiny.  But, dayum, she ain’t got nothing on The Newt.

Gingrich, who represented Georgia in Congress for two decades, retired in 1999. But his wife, Callista Gingrich, was employed by the House Agriculture Committee until 2007, according to public records. She listed a “revolving charge account” at Tiffany and Company in the liability section of her personal financial disclosure form for two consecutive years and indicated that it was her spouse’s debt. The liability was reported in the range of $250,001 to $500,000.

When asked by POLITICO whether Gingrich has settled this debt, and why he owed between a quarter-million and a half-million dollars to a jeweler, Rick Tyler, Gingrich’s spokesman, declined to comment.

In 2006, Callista said the couple was worth between $1million and $2.5 million.  They owed up to $.5 million to Tiffany’s.  “I’m telling you that a woman has to be really good at something to get that much jewelry,” Juanita says with shock and awe.

“Look, I don’t mean to be tacky, but I am a beauty expert so I feel the need to say this as a warning to other women.  Get your Botox now, Honey, before Callista uses it all.  Go put it on lay-away or something because this woman took all the money she didn’t spend at Tiffany’s and mainlined it right into her face.”

Thelma says times are tough but she’s still paying off the $46.87 she spent at Payless Shoes during their last bogo sale.  “I can sympathize with Callista,” she says, “because girls like stuff.”