.

Most Texans cringe at the name of Allen Stanford.  He bilked Texans out of $582 million dollars in a giant Ponzi scheme.  That’s a slightly bigger scam than Buck Pochek spent 5 years in prison for when people paid him $10 upfront to paint their address on the curb in front of their houses with a tasteful Texas flag motif.  Buck got drunk the night before and spent all the front money in a honky tonk on a floozy woman who promised that she was a member of the Swedish Olympic Ski Team.  Her size 18 pedal pushers should have clued Buck to the problem but Buck, of course, was so drunk that he had to hold on to the grass to lean against the ground, so her unlean stature didn’t matter much to him.

But, back to Allen Stanford, who according to all public records, was not that drunk the entire five years he scammed Texans with the head-turning eyes of Texas Senator John Cornyn and my personal favorite slimepatty, Tom DeLay.

While awaiting trial, Stanford got into a prison fight resulting in traumatic brain injury.  They say he’s too screwed-up to stand trial now.

There a giant ole article at the Washington Post this morning about the mess left behind by Stanford and the politicians he bought.  It’ll turn your stomach because most of the politicians – Democrats, too – are refusing to return the donations they got from Stanford to buy their influence.  That means the people who invested with Stanford lose 95% of their money.

Cornyn’s office said he donated the funds to a charity after the scandal erupted; asked why they were not sent to the receiver, spokesman Kevin McLaughlin said, “We have no further comment.” A victims group says that 1,300 Texans who invested in Stanford’s firms lost $582 million. Cornyn now chairs the National Republican Senatorial Committee, which is fighting a receiver lawsuit demanding the return of $83,345.

Cornyn makes my skin crawl.  Personally, I think he spent the money on fringe.

And then there’s Tom DeLay.  You wanna talk about somebody too screwed up to stand trial?  Baby, he was so screwed up at his trial that he couldn’t even testify.  But, I’m ready to send him back for another round after reading this —

Cornyn flew on one of Stanford’s jets once, his office states, while then-House Majority Leader Tom DeLay flew about a dozen times, according to an aide. In 2004, DeLay (R-Tex.) and four other congressmen wrote to a top Venezuelan banking official attesting to Stanford’s honesty; the government there subsequently allowed Stanford to open more than a dozen branches that attracted more than $1.5 billion. His Venezuelan bank’s collapse led to a government takeover and huge losses by accountholders.

DeLay attorney Brian Wice said that “if the government can prove to a jury . . . that the allegations about the scope of Mr. Stanford’s Ponzi scheme are true, then Mr. DeLay wasn’t the only individual whom Mr. Stanford was able to deceive.”

Writ twits make me crazy.  If Tom was attesting to Stanford’s “honesty,” don’t you think he would have checked into Stanford very seedy background?  And it’s okay for Tom to do it because other people did it, too?  Don’t lawyers have mothers?  On second thought, don’t answer that.

And, friends, I want you to call every Democrat in the story and tell them that Democrats are supposed to be the good guys.  We’re supposed to set the standard.  We’re supposed to care about people more than we care about corporate jet rides.  And if they don’t return the money to the investors, then we’ll primary their hineys!  Do it.  You’ll be proud of yourself.