Trump Fundraising
Dana Milbank has come up with some dandy ways for Trump to raise money from for his campaign since the 1 billion dollars he started with has been squandered. He’s saying he’ll finance it himself but he doesn’t have any money.
Here’s one of my favorites.
TMZ reports that a Bible signed by Trump is being sold through a memorabilia company, Moments In Time, for $37,500. In the photo on the merchant’s website, Trump’s Sharpie signature is scrawled generously across the title page, where the author’s name might go, right below “HOLY BIBLE/KING JAMES VERSION.”
Think of the other things he could auction – that NOAA weather map he altered with a Sharpie, chunks of the wall that fell down, the toilet paper stuck on his shoe, a scroll of all his chiefs of staffs, a copy of the check Mexico sent us to pay for the wall …. oh wait, oops.
Enjoy poking fun at the haughty this morning.
Joe Biden is hurting THEIR God.
1Bill Barr’s underpants.
What’s left of the Constitution.
That bottle of water he couldn’t lift with one hand.
Kim Jong Un’s love letters.
His tax returns.
2Anything he actually wrote.
3Himself.
In Orange sharpie.
Cue my favorite Allman Brothers song.
Blue Sky.
Autographed:
4Nude photos of Melania
Empty sudafed wrappers
Travel size bleach
His enemies list
His friends list
List of laws he’s broken
The gun he used on 5th ave.
Secret photos he took of Ivanka
His drug dealer’s name
His tax returns
Hair styling videos
Pee’d on sheets
A letter of resignation
Melanoma. Is that ok to say? He is pretty desperate and he does remind me of an orange pimp.
5Original signed credit card receipts (customer copy) from escorts, prostitutes, strippers, porn workers…
That’s gotta be a mountain of cash!
6Wasn’t the check from Mexico written on the Bank of Goodyear?
Bounce, bounce…
7The flag he kissed and drooled on.
Wanted for a friend (E. Jean Carroll).
8When Trump signed this, it went from a book to bound toilet paper.
9Well, less . .. he’s already sold his immortal soule . . .
10ronAnon: You gotta strike “Empty sudafed wrappers” from your list. That’s the state flower of Oklahoma and so is illegal to pick them.
11Since so many MAGAts think of him as the second coming (I mean that in the most sincere way) he can make a mint from hawking autographed bibles. The KJV, of course…
12