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Juanita has decided that these damn Republicans are so shrewd that they could give you a head start and still beat you through a revolving door.

Case in point.  We are firing school teachers, increasing class size, and closing schools, but Republicans are making out like landowners on settlin’ day.

The state teacher retirement fund’s investment managers received more than $8.2 million in bonuses this year, more than double what every other state agency’s top employees have received combined since 2007, according to a newspaper analysis published Sunday.

Results of The Dallas Morning News analysis published in Sunday’s edition show the bonuses went to 54 top Teacher Retirement System investment managers who direct parts of the $100 billion fund. The biggest single bonus was $521,512 to the system’s chief investment officer, who receives a base salary of $480,000.

The report comes as about 300,000 retired teachers have gone 10 years without a pension increase and state lawmakers struggle with a budget shortfall that could leave tens of thousands of teachers out of work.

“Face it, “Juanita says.  “You kinda gotta be in awe of that level of shrewd and greed.  The retirees haven’t gotten a raise in a decade, but these guys are waddling in dough for doing only a mediocre job.”

“Although the Texas teacher retirement system is okay, it’s not that much better than if we’d let that kid on eTrade do the investing,” she speculates.

“And in the bowels of irony hell, the Republicans are saying that if we want good people investing our money, then we need to pay what they are worth, which is top dollar.  This theory, of course, does not extend to teachers.”

“Republicans are making me crazy,” she growls, “and best I can tell, they are doing it on purpose.”

She’s right, you know.