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Thelma gave Juanita a lecture last week that she shouldn’t call East Texas Republican Congressvarmint Leo Berman a crazy man.

Leo Berman: Not Crazy. Probably Drunk.

“That is truly unfair and unkind to crazy people,” Thelma argued.  “In Texas, we prize our crazy people.  Hell, Honey, do not forget that we’re the state that put Ross Perot in charge of education.”

Juanita agrees, and has decided to quit calling Leo Berman crazy.  From now on she’ll gonna call him drunk.  And she does not want to hear a word of complaint from drunk people.  Drunk is a choice; crazy ain’t.

“Ole drunk Leo Berman has a new cause,” Juanita explains.

Texas lawmakers are considering whether to ban state courts from considering foreign religious or cultural laws, such as the Islamic law of Shariah.

The goal “is to require a Texas court to uphold and apply only the laws ordained by the constitutions of (Texas and the United States), prohibiting any other interpretation,” said Rep. Leo Berman, R-Tyler, a former Arlington mayor pro tem. “This is now happening all over Europe … and in Dearborn, Mich. … and it could spread throughout the United States.

“We all know what Shariah law does to women – women must wear burqas, women are subject to humiliation and into controlled marriages under Shariah law,” he said. “We want to prevent it from ever happening in Texas.”

“Okay, let’s start at the beginning,” Juanita begins.  “Leo has never been concerned about women’s rights before right now.  In fact, he opposes reproductive freedom and thinks equal pay for equal work is socialism.  However, you start talking doing away with short shorts and halter tops, and Leo goes batcrap, sorry Thelma, crazy.”

“Second off, judges are sworn to uphold the Constitution of the United States of America.  But you don’t see Leo gettin’ his britches on fire over Canadian law.”

“Third off, Buck Pochek says that Shariah Law is a hoochy-koochy dancer over at Crazy Manny’s Pole Emporium, and that outlawing her would go against the fine arts because she is a fine specimen of art.”

“Buck and Leo do not need concern themselves with heavy thinking,” Juanita says.  “As far as Shariah Law goes, I’ve seen pictures of that woman and she should be in the Olympic for being able to sit up.”