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Sugar Land Republican State Representative and close friend of Tom DeLay, Charlie Howard, was faster than a bullet with legs finding the one damn place we totally left unprotected by people armed with permits to carry who couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn even if they were inside it.

Incredibly dangerous school board meetings.

SECTION 1. Section 46.03, Penal Code, is amended by adding Subsection (j) to read as follows:

(j) It is a defense to prosecution under Subsection (a)(1) that at the time of the commission of the offense the actor was:

(1) carrying a concealed handgun that the person was licensed to carry under Subchapter H, Chapter 411, Government Code; and

(2) attending a school board meeting in an official capacity as:

(A) a member of the school board; or

(B) the superintendent of the school governed by the school board.

Who Would Jesus Shoot?

“Great idea, Charlie!” Juanita says, “so some fool can walk into the back of a school board meeting and know that the only armed people are in the front of the room and odds are pretty danged good that they ain’t The Rifleman.”

“You know,” she continues, “for a man so short that the butt of his pistol rests under his armpit to keep it from scraping the ground, Charlie sure is dandy anxious to be toting firepower.”

“And as a Super DeLux Brand Christian and founding member of the Christian Coalition in Fort Bend, Charlie sure is anxious to kill somebody.”

“Look, I gotta be honest,” she says, “having a permit to carry does mean that you can shoot worth a flip.  That’s the part that scares me.  No, wait, the part that scares me is that Charlie appears to believe that it’s his Christian duty to dispatch folks to the other side as fast as he can.”

“Good Lord, I do not want my obituary to say ‘innocent bystander at a school board meeting when Thelma’s purse snap was mistaken for gunshots’.  If that’s what happens, just bury me without telling anyone.”

By the way, Charlie has also co-authored three bills about body scans at the airport.  I especially like HB 1937, which lists a bunch of things that are already illegal but Charlie always has at least three bills with dirty talk in them, so I suspect this is #1.  Charlie loves him some dirty talk.  Momma, do not go read this bill.  Charlie claims to be against pornography so he has to study it a lot to stay informed.