.

“As you’ve learned here, Rick Perry’s Perfect Texas doesn’t have enough electricity to survive a freeze, and not a monumental freeze at that,” Juanita smiles through slightly bluish lips.

“We’re all walking around with flashlights under our blankets,” she admits.  “We are a hardy people, we Texans,  having survived hurricanes, fire ants, the occasional tornado, and some really bad UT football teams.  However, you wave cold in front of us and we immediately start building a fire in the middle of the living room.  We are not at peace with cold.  We leave that to the Yankees.”

“So, where do Texans go for help when we are desperate to quit shivering?”

“Uh …. blush …  The Tea Party’s Number One Evil … Mexico,” she reports.

No kidding.  Mexico.

While the Tea Partiers are down on the border trying to keep Mexican people out of Texas, Rick Perry’s Texas is trying like the dickens to get in.

Mexico will provide electricity to Texas to help the U.S. state weather an ice storm that has forced rolling blackouts.

Mexico’s Federal Electricity Commission says it has agreed to transmit 280 megawatts of electricity to Texas between Wednesday and Thursday night.

A commission statement says the electricity will be transmitted at interconnection points in Nuevo Laredo — across the border from Laredo, Texas — and Piedras Negras, which sits opposite of Eagle Pass, Texas.

Apparently, Mexicans can only come into Texas if they’re carrying a Van de Graaff generator, some jumper cables, and a couple of gallons of oil.  And, we’d prefer if they would deposit it anywhere north of Corpus Christi and then go home.”

Juanita has an idea.

“You know how you can make any fortune cookie better by adding ‘in bed’ at the end?”

“Well, from now on, anytime Rick Perry starts bragging about Texas he has to preface it by saying ‘with Mexico’s help.’  Like this:  With Mexico’s help … Texas is a leader in job growth.  With Mexico’s help … Texas has pretty darn good standard of living.  With Mexico’s help ….  Texas can be a first world state.”

Good grief.  This is funny.  Texas is getting foreign aid.

But, on the upside for Rick Perry, at least it ain’t from our own federal government.