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It’s Louie Gohmert.  He’s racking up crazy-mile points faster than we can count them.

“Y’all, seriously, East Texas congressvarmint Louie Gohmert is gonna blow one day and fly around backwards spewing more crazzzy than we can catch with butterfly nets,” Juanita predicts.

First off, this morning Louie had a whole different hunch on reality than the rest of us.

Earlier today, in apparent reference to Pima County Sheriff Clarence Dupnik, Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) said, “I hope the sheriff tones his rhetoric down.”

Yes, Gohmert wants someone else to tone down the rhetoric. This from the guy who, among other things, screamed at Anderson Cooper for several minutes about “terror babies,” and argued on the House floor that Democrats are trying to get senior citizens to “die off more quickly” by passing health care reform.

“Louie’s tongue is running in the Looneyville Barefoot Marathon again,” Juanita suggests.

But that wasn’t enough.  He’s accusing the FBI of “stonewalling” about Jared Loughner, and not telling the truth about Loughner because, “that he’s a liberal, hates the flag, supports Marx, that type of thing, turn out to be true, then it may be embarrassing to some of the current administration’s constituents, and, heaven help us, we wouldn’t want to embarrass any of the president’s constituents.”

“And, he didn’t say that in closet, Honey, he yelled that on the House floor,” Juanita says.

“And proving that he’s not buying into the whole tone-it-the-hell-down idea, Gohmert is introducing a bill to allow members of the United States Congress to carry handguns on the House floor.  Oh hell, let’s just do away with the tote board and let the last one standing make laws.  It’d sure make C-Span more fun.”

“I am sad to report that there are places in Texas where Louie Gohmert is considered sane,” she says.  “I am, however, proud to announce that this beauty salon ain’t one of them.”