Thousands of Republican Women Thank Pat Robertson! UPDATE!
Political Jesus Frontman Pat Robertson has made an announcement:
Old Doofus was talking about the virtues of beating children until they love Jesus, when another shiny object caught his eye and he wandered off …
“And while we’re on the subject of beating,” Robertson continued shamelessly, “I was thinking that that might not be such a bad punishment for married women who are thinking about voting for Hillary Clinton in November’s election. But, then again, it’s probably a little harsh to beat on your wife just because she has no idea who it is God wants to be president. Okay, here’s a compromise: non-Christian wives should get a beating from their husbands, and Christian wives should have their husbands boycott intercourse until they change their mind. How’s that?”
A sigh of relief was heard all over the country from women looking over at Jim Bob sitting on the couch in his underwear swaddled in potato chip droppings and belching beer fumes, with that look in his eye that says, “Let’s get frisky during halftime, Woman.”
Thanks to Pat Robertson, Woman is gonna go get herself a damn nap and some peace.
Thanks to everybody for the heads up.
UPDATE: I got snookered! This was a satire site. I apologize for being a doofus, too.
“it’s probably a little harsh to beat on your wife just because she has no idea who it is God wants to be president.”
If God knows who should be president, and God is on the side of winners in wars and elections… and if Hillary wins, wouldn’t that mean Pat has no idea who God wants to be president? Ready for your beating Pat?
1As much as I detest Mr. Robertson, he only said the first part. This is according to Snopes, if you believe their liberal-leaning posts. You know, like the rest of us.
http://www.snopes.com/pat-robertson-boycott-hillary/
2a. I want to see concrete evidence, signed by god, that he/she wants dumbass to be president. presumably, this would be on a huge, heavyass stone tablet, probably in Greek or Aramaic.
b. I assume Robertson is not familiar with the Greek play Lysistrata. there was a reason the playwrite didn’t make it about men refusing to have sex with their wives, unless the wives allowed them to go off to war.
Christ, what an asshole.
3Rat, Margaret Rose, I hate, hate, hate to get snookered by satire sites. You’d think I would know better.
4If someone can get us in the same room, I will happily beat Pat until he sees God.
5cpinva, good one with Lysistrata! Mr. R obviously doesn’t know women like he thinks he does if he thinks that is a punishment.
And I’m sorry, beating children might make them SAY they love Jesus, but Jesus is love. You don’t show the love of Jesus to children by beating them; you show it by good examples (respect, compassion, faith, good works). Mr. R’s example is a child abuser, and Jesus was never documented to beat a child.
6Pat Robertson is old and shedding brain cells at an alarming rate, but I’m happy to learn that nobody has let him on the airwaves advocating beating wives over political disagreements. Somebody has some sense out there, even if it isn’t necessarily Pat Robertson.
7I love good satire. It is kind of a lost art. I enjoyed the heck out of this. It is so close to what you can imagine what he would say. Crazy old coot!
8But JJ, that was soooo believable. It’s exactly the kind of uh stuff he’s been saying for years.
9I agree with Jacque & RA, it was artful, it was believable. I’ll bet even Pat himself would think he said it, if he read that he had.
10@Rick: “I’ll bet even Pat himself would think he said it, if he read that he had.” LMAO.
Anyone who has ever heard Robertson say something ignorant and stupid would immediately believe, without questioning it, that he did say all those things.
11You were snookered? No, not really. If someone told me Patsy Robertson had said those things, I would have believed every word.
12Moronic fake kristians like Robertson deserve a nice long vacation in a padded cell with the white coats.
13But! Latter-Day Republicanism IS the same as satire of yesterday! Who would not be confused?
14My offer still stands.
15Many good comments, but I have to go with TrulyTexan at #5.
16Hey, JJ, I can’t blame you for falling for that. It’s getting to be damn near impossible to tell satire from reality.
17Yo Pat, Phyllis already took the laundry chute down to the heated waters of the righteous. Isn’t it time for you to travel on down to check on your flock?
18Since it was a spoof, why not take it down from the site?
19LOL…ahhhhh thank you. I so needed a good laugh. And it sounds just so much like the things Pat Robertson and the rest of that bunch would and does say it was totally believable.
20Larry, it would seem to be better to leave it up and clearly label it as a spoof so that people will see that information. If it just vanishes then the original message stands.
It also allows the poster to apologize in situ, which is what should happen when someone makes an honest mistake and regrets it.
21Come on, guys. Robertson is a hairy onanist and is blind as a bat because of it.
Ladies you should find which women vote for Drumpf and kick their fannies out of the Sisterhood on general principles.
22Larry from Colorado: Because it’s called integrity.
JJ posted a report that was untrue… a satire… believing it was true. She erred. The update was she taking responsibility for that error. (Y’know, just like Faux News does all the time. /s) Taking it down and acting like it never happened is cowardly and misleading.
23It can be very difficult to tell truth from satire when it comes to Pat and the rest of the nutjobs. Sometimes it’s impossible. I’d certainly believe he said all that, and wouldn’t be surprised if he did in private, even if he didn’t say it on the air.
24All in all, JJ’s post and comments are a win for the good guys!
25Which brings to mind where “rule of thumb” originated. Under old English law, you could not beat your wife with a stick bigger than your thumb. I’m just full of old things like that. And nothing else?
26One element convinced me that this was satire before I read the addendum. The quote as written implies that Robertson thinks that women enjoy sex and can be punished by witholding it and don’t just view it as an unpleasant but necessary step on the road to babies.
27It’s embarrassing to find something that sounds so like the person it’s attributed to and then find out it’s satire. I know. I’ve done with so-called quotes from Stupid Sarah.
Anyway, JJ, I enjoyed a laugh at knowing it wasn’t really true but we could easily believe it.
28But the lunatic does think it’s okay to beat children till they “love God?” Yeah, I’m sure that would be a Real Love.
Two things:
1. They tried that with American Indian children, which resulted in great harm to entire families and tribes and nations.
2. Wapo reported a child beaten to death by f**king lunatics who apparently believed an older f**king lunatic, little Jesus Robertson.
Grr*^$##)*&@!!!!!
29Paul, just to clarify, you weren’t supposed to beat your wife with a stick *thicker* than your thumb. Length was not specified.
30Dang-it! The satirical piece is purty close to how things are with ol’ Pat! Leave it up there! It coulda happened. JJ wasn’t all that spoofed! Mama used to say, “There’s no fool like an old fool,” and she was so right about that!
Night, y’all! Roofers been roofin’ the patio today, and they made me tired just watchin’ ’em work! Hittin’ the rack!
31While we’re debunking myths, “rule of thumb” has nothing to do with spousal abuse. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_thumb
32That old saying: when hell meets high water . . . this satire site reminds me of that insomuch as it is so freaking close to the truth!
33Not satire, all true. Remember when our moms and aunts used to send us out to get a nice green branch for our own whippings? and if the branch wasn’t thick enough we had to go back and get another one….
34All of you have it right. OLD Pat wouldn’t know satire if it bit his holier than thou ass.
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