Rhode Island? You’re Screwing With Me.
This story belongs in Texas or Florida but they want me to believe it happened in Rhode Island.
A 50-year-old Rhode Island man is charged with shooting corncobs at his neighbor’s home.
The Westerly Sun reports that Jeffrey Osella of Westerly was arrested Tuesday night. Police say he answered his door shirtless and had corn kernels stuck to his chest.
Not surprisingly, the story says the man and his neighbor did not get along.
He used a PVC pipe to build a potato cannon but must have been fresh outta potatoes. So he used corn.
He’s free on bond after being charged with disorderly conduct. And corn littering.
I think the corn kernels stuck to his bare chest may have been the highlight of my day.
And, you’re looking at your Rethuglican neighbor with a little more appreciation, aren’t you?
1In all fairness, we can’t be sure what his neighbor might have been up to, but I can see how living next door to this Child of the Corn could be a problem.
Seriously disappointed that there was no mug shot published with the article.
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts!
– Steven Wright
I demand to see Chump’s long-form worth certificates!
2(Yes, I’m a “worther” and proud of it.)
Keep America Great Again!
Clinton/Kaine 2016
You missed the fact that it is _Westerly_ Rhode Island. Rhode Island, as small as it is, has four different countries crammed into it: Providence, Newport, Westerly, and Cranston. Strange things happen in both Westerly and Cranston.
3Veganazi!!
4Strange things happen all over RI. They drink cabinets and get water from bubblahs.
And Cranston is pronounced “Kvansten”
5To see a picture of the gun he used, go to: http://cnmnewz.com/man-arrested-for-shooting-corncobs-at-neighbors-house-with-homemade-gun/ Interestingly enough if you put his name in Google and then search for images, seven of the first 14 images are of ears of corn.
6Nah! Had to be Texas.
7To me, the only reason this story makes national news is because it doesn’t happen in Texas or Florida. Case in point. The thing that interested me was how the potato gun was built, and what propelled the ammo. Thanks Charles D., that helped. 10 years ago I was sitting in the smoke pen at work in a local refinery when a coworker described a homemade margarita machine he’d built for when he was at the lake. He took a Gott water cooler (think orange cylinder with white lid), cut a hole in the bottom and mounted an (unused) garbage disposal like the one in your kitchen, piped it to a hole in the top so it would constantly circulate and mix. Another co-worker commented that that was the most redneck thing he’d ever heard. And he figured he’d have one built by the weekend.
8Hair spray??? WTF??
WD-40 is the way forward patrons.
9I was going to say that I wanted a photo of the corn kernels stuck to his chest, but then I considered what the bare chest of a 50-year-old yahoo would look like, and no thanks. Try to imagine his weekly beer consumption.
10JAKv – Veganazi Rules!!
11Charles D, I followed that link because I’m interested in new tricks w/potato cannons, but was shocked when it came up as an “end times” story. WTF? An idiot with a potato cannon is the anti-christ? Help me out here, people, I’m not as up to date with Dominionism as I thought.
For instance, are they all looney? Do ANY of them get psychiatric help? Is there ANY counter-movement one could join to get them help? Can we stop them from reproducing?
12Proves that stoopid is everywhere.
13Aw, hey! That corn used as buckshot mighta/coulda been a homage to the real natives of Rhode Island who showed the alien invaders how to plant the stuff and survive!
14PVC? Really? This whack-o-bird planning to fly with his armament? So obviously not a “good ol’ boy” who would know bazookas are made with beer cans and duct tape. Silly Dominionists have gone yuppie.
15Outhouse etiquette- use a red cob and then a white one to see if you need another red one.
Might have a year’s supply of toiletries thanks to a sharing and giving neighbor with corn kernels stuck to his manly chest.
16I suspect that with this guy corn cobs can function not only as ammunition, but as sex toys.
17LynnN– and I thought the bare chest was an image I didn’t want.
18Make decent stoppers for moonshine jugs. So do spuds. Corn is not worth much so a fella might just as well shell his neighbor’s house with it.
19See, if he had stuck to potatoes, he’d still be chipper, but now the police have placed him under a corn hold.
20epo, I didn’t want to know that, #16, about #2. I was at an old tractor, steam and threshing show today. There were lots of old things, but no outhouses, just port-a-potties.
21I expect this out of Florida Man but not someone in Rhode Island
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