Investigating the Investigation
Y’all, as I watched the House Judiciary Committee question Attorney General Loretta Lynch, I realized that they are investigating the investigation.
When Hillary gets elected President, I predict that we will need a House Committee on Investigations because there will be a new investigation every week.
I imagine “Is she really blonde and why should her hairdresser be the only one to know for sure?” will certainly make the list right away.
Why hasn’t she fully explained where she was during the Kennedy assassination?
Where have all the flowers gone? After all, it’s been a long time passing.
You’ve never seen a penguin within fifty feet of her. Why is that?
Has she stopped beating her wife? No, wait. We’ll refer that to the “Could Be But Probably Not” Committee.
Join in the fun and suggest your own investigations. (I might steal some from you for an Outsmart Magazine article I’m writing!)
Where was Hillary when DB Cooper parachuted out of that plane over the Northwest with $200,000 in cash? Why did the FBI close the file on him right after they interviewed Hillary about her emails? Coincidence? I think not. We need an investigation.
1I see nothing yet: must be the regulars are working on something epic….
2She keeps using the Ladies room. Can she prove she’s a lady? Huh!?
3If she can always get what she wants, if she is tried real hard, will she get what she needs?
Is Jimmy Hoffa buried in her front or back yard?
If she redecorates the White House, will the carpets match the drapes?
As a white, female Muslim, why doesn’t she wear a hijab?
Was she always a woman? More than a woman? Always a woman to me?
Did she kill cock robin?
Does her secret plan to take all our guns include the squirt, zit, and t-shirt types?
If she goes to Rome does she do as the Romans do?
Does she know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie-Pop? Does Bill?
When all the republicans are rounded up and put in Walmarts (those that aren’t already there) will she use a drone to destroy them, or blow them up and blame the Christians?
Why won’t she let congress help her get stuff done?
How does she feel trying to fill the shoes of what could have been the most effective President in history? How does she feel finding congress nail those shoes to the floor?
If the ants are my friends, why are they blowing in the wind? Should I be sad?
4“People have said…”
51. She’s a closeted lesbian,
2. She’s waaaaaay too liberal, almost a cominist!
3. She secretly owns stock in Trump U.
4. She secretly colluded with that black guy in the WH to murder policemen.
5. Her initials are “HRC,” as in “Her Royal something.”
BTW, Linda Phipps, I’m pretty sure you qualify as a “regular.”
You can do this.
6Being from Arkansas we have to know if any of her campaigns were financed by blood diamonds dug up by tourist child slave labor at Crater of Diamonds State Park.
7I want to investigate every dentist she’s used since high school. How do we know one of them didn’t implant a secret transmitter in a molar to beam state secrets to the Communists?
I’m pretty sure she’s responsible for that weekly sock that goes in to the wash, but doesn’t make it out of the dryer.
And before the Clinton’s came to national prominence, I was younger, thinner, and still had most of my mind. Coincidence?
8Pants suits – why do we never see her lower leg (limb if you’re a Republican)? What is Hillary hiding???
Does she have a traveling hair stylist? Oh the horrors!! Is she spending someone’s hard-earned campaign contribution on her hair??
How many overnights at Granny’s “White House” are Chelsea’s children allowed? Shouldn’t Grandma Clinton reimburse the federal government for their housing? After all we just can’t afford to spend federal dollars “willy nilly” on Clinton’s wasteful extravagances!!
9And did she finance her college — hoity-toity Yale — and drug habit by working as a prostitute? I know someone beaming it from Planet Zoltar said that about Obama, and don’t remind me who it was because I do not want to remember. Actually I’m surprised that HRC has *not* been accused of this, loudly and repeatedly.
Speaking of initials, my background is in wildlife biology and some land use issues. Does anybody else have the problem I do lately: when I see BLM, my first thought is Bureau of Land Management and I have to shift gears to Black Lives Matter.
10It will never stop until we get a Democratic Congress. Or should I say “Democrat” Congress?
11Who is Richard Stands, and why is there a republic for him?
12I think it’s high time that we set up the House UnRepublican Activities Committee. For its counsel, I would suggest the only member of congress who bears a striking resemblance to the late Sen. Joe McCarthy, and that, of course, would be Ted Cruz. It would all be very fitting – trial by public opinion, character assassination by innuendo, evidence-free accusations, everything the House Republicans are already doing. Just to bring back a little HUAC nostalgia. Why not?
13Has it been proven that she isn’t the one that shot JR Ewing?
14No investigation, but if Trump names Gingrich as VP I have a bumper sticker for you, that I stole from a comment board: Trump/Gingrich 2016-“All Wives Matter.”
15The latest rumor has it that Hillary got the snake to take the fall for that Garden of Eden Incident.
16And rest assured that when all the nut jobs finally exhaust their almost unlimited imagination without getting anywhere, someone will stand back and say Wait, what was that first thing we investigated? Oh yeah, Whitewater! And the whole crazy shitshow will start all over again. With new evidence! “It’s twoo, it’s twoo, I saw it on the cover of the National Enquirer!”
17Who let the dogs out? We suspect it was Bill, but we can’t prove that, either.
18Obviously what the Republicans thinks works best for them with any Clinton is to never ever stop accusing them of doing something illegal. Even if it is never true the fact that she is being investigated dominates the news cycle week after week and ensures that hordes of weak minded fools think there is something shady about them. A huge percentage of the population including MSM journalists thinks she is a “serial liar” as a result.
The return on investment is finally wearing off, but if the hadn’t been doing it and had been forced to do regular business they would be behind in the polls at least 65% everywhere.
19Will Hilz be writing a ‘tell all’ book, when she leaves the White House?
Does Trey Gowdy stink when he sweats?
20Does *itch McConnell really smell like a corpse?
Does Lyin’ Ryan shower after his taxpayer sponsored work outs?
Do the old boys really swim nude in the Congressional pool? If so, would anyone notice?
Does Lucifer Gohmert eat barbecue?
Was it HRC they were speaking of when they asked if blondes have more fun?
21PKM! The one about the Congressional pool! That’s nasty! And I like it. 😉
22How about the charge that she was responsible for the death of Princess Diana? Got that one off of RWNJ media!
23Henry: I believe you’re wrong. It will never stop. They have no ideas, no solutions. All they have is pointing at someone else and blaming them. Remember the ACA? Where’s their solution? It’s been 7 years. Didn’t their God create the universe and all life in 6 days? Why can’t they do something much, much smaller in 7 years? Because they have nothing. Period.
24Rhea: Yes, I always think Bureau of Land Management before I think Black Lives Matter.
25Bureau of Land Management wishes to clear out every living wild mustang and wild burro there is so all of the cattle can eat everything in sight and poop and pee in their water!! The horses don’t do that!!
Of course, some segments of society would like to see that same thing happen where the Black Lives Matter group is concerned.
PKM … I think the entire lot of the GOP probably stink to high heavens and Lucifer Gohmert smells strongly of bbq sauce as well as stink from uncleanliness!!
Oh, and Hillary admitted on TV that, yes, she colors her hair and will continue to do so! 🙂
I’m sorry … I got nothing to add to the possibles that could be laid at Hillary’s feet … Lord knows, the RWNJs are doing a grand job of that on their own!!
26@ Rhea Ditto and yes complicated by the Bundy mess which did involve the BLM.
Hilary should be investigated for corrupting Louis asparagus thus causing them to have aspersions cast upon them
27On this date in 1859, the first train robbery was staged and Hillary Clinton did nothing to stop it. We must get to the bottom of her involvement!
28While you’re thinking up new investigations, you can dig out the old Gohmert one about how he doesn’t want gay colonies on the moon. Well, how would he know? i don’t want HIM on the moon. Hey, maybe he could start a colony of asparagus on the moon. Just so he pays taxes….
29Was Hillary too busy picking out the new White House china and redecorating Bill’s TV room to predict when the next Benghazi!! will happen so she can stop it?
And what about them pant suits? Is she some kinda trans-whatca-ma-sex-y’all?
Did she permanently change the sign on the oval office restroom to say Ladies when we all know the next president is gonna be a old white guy who can’t walk very far and needs to pee 12 times a day?
I also predict that the old farts will have a contest to see who can first make her cry and get hysterical. But wait, you need a uterus to get hysterical. Does she in fact have a uterus? (See the investigative sub-committee on pant suits.)
Why doesn’t she carry a purse? Even the Queen carries a purse for her hanky and cough drop. (See the investigative sub-committee on pant suits.)
Where was she hiding during the Salem witch trials?
30Why—WHY—won’t she tell us who put the bomp in the bomp de bomp de bomp???
31https://www.hsgac.senate.gov/subcommittees/investigations
Well there’s not a committee but there is a subcommittee.
32What isn’t she telling us about Judge Crater? (Though in all fairness it tends to be Trump who has problems with judges.)
Has anyone else noticed the fractal nature of Repub investigations?
33Was she there the day the music died?
Does she know which twin had the Toni?
Has she palled around with The Hamburglar? The Frito Bandito?
Does she now, or has she ever, talked above a whisper in the library? And where is that book she checked out in 1975?
Where was she the night they cancelled “Friends”?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if the Clintons hadn’t murdered Vince Foster?
34@trulytexan– thanks for the giggles!
35Is the check really in the Mail?
36JAKvirginia, the pool thing is unfortunately factual. At one time, the Senate swimming pool was a boys only place. Sen. Kay Hagan had to fight for her right to use the pool. John Ensign of NV was, faux surprise, one of the pool pigs.
***warning*** Mama don’t open the link. It’s not bad per se, but it may contain too much information. TMI for anyone who considers Donnie Drumpf to be disgusting be prepared for similar TMI concerning former NV GOPig John Ensign.
http://gawker.com/which-male-senators-liked-to-swim-naked-in-the-senate-p-1677806188
37What does Hillary know about who let the dogs out?
Did Hillary put the bomp in the bomp buh bomp buh bomp?
What did Hillary know and when did she know it in relation to the disastrous 2011 Black Eyed Peas Super Bowl Halftime show?
38What complicity did Hilz have in the Super Bowl XXXVIII Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction? What threats did she employ to make Justin do that? And, in case any of us missed that halftime blooper, how did Hilz control the media that showed us for days what we missed, if we missed it?
39JAKVirginia – The health care issue is much worse than that. I was living in DeeCee back in the 90’s and vividly recall the joint effort by the Republican party and the AMA to kill the Clinton health care plan. The Republicans succeeded in killing the plan AND convincing enough voters to elect them to Congress as the majority, in part by claiming that they would produce a MUCH better plan than the “terrible, wasteful, bureaucratic nightmare” that was the Clinton health care plan. Well, they succeeded in taking control of both Houses and they’ve controlled them both for much of the last 20 years but we’re still waiting for that “wonderful” plan they were going to produce “just as soon as they took office as the majority”.
Good thing I wasn’t holding my breath.
40I always wear slacks as I have varicose veins and would rather keep that info to myself. Oops.
41As to who put the bomp, it was either, writer, Gerry Goffin or singers Barry Mann and The Halos. However, Frankie Lymon covered the song in which he claimed, “I put the bomp…”
So Hillary is in the clear on that one.
FBI Director Comey did himself no favor by mixing his conservative opinion (extremely careless) in with the findings of fact. It was like dangling raw steak in front of tigers.
BiB@40, that’s a great talking point to remember, thanks. I personally find that kind of stuff really helpful because there’s been such a barrage of heinous crap coming from repugnicans for so long that sometimes it’s nice to be reminded of individual “turds” like that. On a similar note, politico has a story today reminiscing on Newt Gingrich. We all know how big a scumbag he’s always been, but I’ll bet that nobody could read that and not find at least one thing they didn’t know or had forgotten. With him being in contention for v.p. it seems like a good time to stroll down memory lane. Even if you do have to hold your nose. I think it’s titled A Millennial’s guide to Newt Gingrich.
42Marge Wood @ #29, why don’t you want Louie Gohmert on the moon? I do. Farther away, if possible, as long as it’s not at public expense. Well, okay, I’d donate a quarter or something to get him to some place with limited air.
43Does Hillary have those vast Clinton Foundation funds invested in her Pokemon takeover of the world?
44Hillary must produce her dental records immediately, so that the Select Committee can determine if she was careless in brushing or flossing. And check all her molars for Russian radio transmitters, of course.
45Why was Hillary meeting with Lee Harvey Oswald and Ted Cruz’ dad?
Did she ever do coke?
Was she responsible for New Coke?
Did she ever leave anything on Clarence Thomas’ Coke?
While working on the Watergate Committee, did she actually erase the Nixon tapes?
In third grade, did she negligently step on a crack, or did she do it willfully to break her mother’s back?
All these species going extinct: what did they know about Rose Law Firm billing records?
When Linda Tripp brought Vince Foster his last cheeseburger before his death (true story!) – did Hillary prepare the “secret sauce?”
46Is it true that Hillary was seen entering Scalia’s motel room and suspiciously placing that pillow over his face?
47Where was she, and what role did she play in the
48Watergate break in of the DNC. She was still a Repub then.