Trump Wants PM, Not VP
Donald J. Trump, in order to form a more perfect Himself, establish hegemony, ensure domestic income, provide for his defensive commonality, promote his general branding, and secure the blessings of griftery for himself and his brood, is running for President and needs a Veep.
We’ve all heard of the former Republican Prez hopefuls who themselves envision being the number two guy: Christie, Gingrich, the ever hopeful, ever clueless Ben Carson. These guys will never get to 1600 on their own. Therefore, their last chance to rule the free world is to sign on the ticket, to pray for Trump to catch lightning in a bottle, then to wait for the inevitable impeachment.
Then there are the more sane-seeming picks, like Bob Corker of Tennessee, or Joni Ernst of Iowa, Jeff Sessions of Ala-damn-bama and Mike Pence, Governor of Indiana. (Sane-seeming only in comparison, because each of them is a right wing loonitarian by any normal standard.)
But Corker and Ernst both excused themselves today, which is probably best for Hair Drumpf, because Corker being paraded onstage yesterday like a hostage was cringe-worthy, while Joni Hog-baller’s proclivities with a shears probably just make Trump cringe. Plus, the Donald has always been a boob man, so that gives Pence a definite advantage.
Through his behavior and temperament, Trump appears to be angling for the job where he gets to fly around on Air Force One, ruffles and flourishes accompanying his every step, as he opens President Trump International Golf Courses all around the globe. It’s exactly how he’s “running” his campaign, and appears to have been his business model from the start.
Further, not only have his surrogates gone on record saying he was looking for someone more experienced to do the actual work, but Donald Trump’s Big Big Life itself bespeaks a lazy work ethic where running his mouth is labor enough, dammit. It’s clear from the get-go: he wants to be the head of state, but not the head of government. He’ll have people for that, preferably family. Why else have all these kids unless you’re going to put them to work?
That’s what makes his Vice Presidential pick so important. This will be the actual guy actually running the actual country: the Prime Minister to His Purple Prosings Majesty. But, even as great a gig as this sounds (plus the added attraction of that impeachment thingie) anyone with an ounce of self-respect is running in the opposite direction except for Gingrich and Christie. That’s how poisonous Trump is and that’s the quality of character he’s attracting.
So think about this, then tell me where in Canada to forward your mail: President Trump running around the world. Chief of Staff Christie running the White House. Vice President Gingrich running the country.
GIVE ME TRUMP or GIVE ME DEATH!
(But I repeat myself.)
1Oh. Dear. God. (And, yes, Mama, I am a praying woman.)
2More like ruining the country than running it…
3Halifax, Nova Scotia. Canada has a Prime Minister worth having, and Her Majesty lives across an ocean.
4Right on the mark again, Primo. Problem is, Drumpf follows no one else’s advice. He and Gingrich should come to blows on Day One and there will be a succession of firings and hirings while our country falls off a cliff. Christie will parrot whatever Drumpf tells him, but anyone showing leadership or intelligence will be shown the door.
5I would point out that the Veep does not have to wait for impeachment. If Trump cannot make some legacy-creating big deal/act within the first year, he’ll pull a Palin and step down. Like you said, he does not want to do the job–just to win it.
Just like I have to keep reminding myself that he may be sexist, but he is not really a misogynist. He is dismissive and denigrating to pretty much anyone who is not him or is not bought by him.
6No Canada for me.
7I’m aiming for either Curacao or Bonnaire. After all, I moved to Florida FOR A REASON and thigh-high snow, in fact snow of any depth at all, wasn’t part of the equation.
I only hope that would be the case, maryelle. I’m much more afraid that Gingrich will simply do like Radar O’Reilly to Trump’s Henry Blake:
“Hey, Mr President. Sign this. You don’t need to know what it is.”
“What am I signing, that I don’t need to know what I’m signing?” he will ask, while signing with his golf pencil.
“Well, we passed a law outlawing contraception, today.”
Trump will go “uhhhhhh” worriedly, scratching his wherever.
And Gingrich will say, “Don’t worry, Mr President, I’ve got plenty of prophylactics for both of us.”
“OK, as long as you get some rubbers, too. Is that all?”
“That’s all for today, Mr President. Next week we should have that ‘Presidents are Exempt From Taxes for Life’ bill Vice Presidents too, of course.”
“What about before I was President?” Trump will ask worriedly, scratching his wallet.
“That’s why we added ‘for life.’ Your WHOLE life.”
OK, Great, Super. I’ve got a tee time one th South Lawn Trump Presidential Golf Course. Have you seen it? It’s the most fabulous course, with, of course, the greatest view in the world. And have you seen the new suites in the Washington Monument? It only thought it was a monument before, but now is the monumentalest ever. Anything else?”
“No sir, everything is under control here.”
“Great, Fantastic. Am I not the best President ever?”
“You are indeed, Mr President.”
“Thanks, Newt. I knew I could count on you.”
“For everything, sir. For everything.”
“Have Christie clean my clubs before bringing my bag to the first tee. And have him bring some REAL golf pencils, the kind with erasers!”
“Yes, sir!”
…and scene!
8@daChipster
As you relayed that scene above I am reminded of the Honorable Governor William J. Lepetomane.
9I could see Corker sensibly withdrawing but I amazed Kutzyernutsov did the same. It is now revealed that everyone around her convinced her to do so. This was not her idea. Why am I not surprised that her ideas are so limited?
10I think if he picks Newtie, Drumpf will need to make Christie taste his food.
11Sounds as though Trump wants to be a Constitutional Monarch.
Without worrying about that “Constitutional” bit too much.
12Primo, the difficulty is that he can’t clone and nominate himself.
13Tom Huelskamp. Evil enough to be a republican, but not terribly notoriously so in the fly over zone.
14I’m heading about 25 miles due N.
15Montreal is a beautiful city, safe clean and fun. Great food.
Lybtilla, Christy, the food taster, is hilarious on so many levels.
16Spurned by both Bob Corker and Joni Ernst; besieged by Newtie and Gov Cartman for the veep job. Poor old Donnie Drumpf – “running mate” doesn’t mean what he thinks it means.
17Trump: Where’s my #!*$@ Lunch?
18Christie: I tasted it.
Kinda like Cheney hiring Bush to write the Halliburton checks, sorta.
19