.

“Well, it’s come to this,” Juanita reports.  “Republicans are giving us just a hint of how they plan on governing.”

There’s a fight in the Texas House over the Speaker.  After years of putting up with Tom Craddick, who played the chainsaw in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, House Democrats joined with Republicans to elect Joe Straus as speaker.  Straus is conservative, but he’s semi-sane, which was a nice change.

“The rightwing Talibaptists in the Texas House are up in arms over Joe Straus,” Juanita continues.  “They want a crazy person to be speaker.  So, they rightwing Christians are mounting a campaign of what they do best – lie.”

… a handful of outside socially conservative groups are running a fairly deceitful but noisy campaign trying to pressure lawmakers who actually like the speaker’s management style to vote against him.

They blame him for the failure of the sonogram bill but the pro-life Texans for Life said the claim is false. They blame him for the failure of voter ID by permitting the Democratic filibuster, but that’s false. Straus followed the direction of his colleagues in the Republican caucus.

“But, all that fibbing  by the Steeple People was justified by the House of the Lord because Joe Straus is not a Christian.  He’s Jewish,” Juanita reports.

Now, the so-called grassroots effort has crossed over the line with coordinated email and robocall programs calling for a true Christian speaker.

Straus: Notorious UnChristian

“Which means he’s going straight to hell and I suspect they are really afraid he’ll take them with him.”

“So, here they are – passing notes in class that someone has cooties – and shouldn’t be chalkboard monitor because he has …. well, big ole cooties.  I know this is exactly what people voted for two weeks ago.  I know they’re happy,” she smiles.

“This is gonna be an awful two years.  Just awful.  But, you gotta admit, it’s gonna is awful fun, too.  They are gonna hunt each other down, cook each other, and pass the sacramental wine as they dine on cooked Republican,” she shakes her head and ponders on a law she wants to sponsor that says members of the Texas House have to pass a sanity test.