Diddle Diddle Dumplin’, Our Senator Cruz
Texas Senator Ted Cruz was seventeen different kinds of outraged when President Obama went to Cuba. I’m telling you that he was so mad that sweat was the only thing that kept him from spontaneously combusting.
“It is so sad, and so injurious to our future as well as Cuba’s, that Obama has chosen to legitimize the corrupt and oppressive Castro regime with his presence on the island.”
However, Cruz didn’t say one damn word when Texas Governor Greg Abbott went to Cuba.
And why is that? Because Governors have uh well uh ….
“You cannot equate the two,” Cruz campaign spokeswoman Catherine Frazier said. “Cruz opposes President Obama’s policy to give an economic lifeline to Cuba. However, he understands the difficult position that governors are put in by this ill-advised policy, and the responsibility they have to promote and grow their own economies for their own states.”
And Presidents don’t grow economies. No, wait. That doesn’t sound right.
And Ted’s saying that if you oppose Obama’s policies, you should just go along and do what’s best for your state unless except that might mean healthcare for the working poor and children. Oh well, look on the bright side: maybe we can send those children to Cuba to get healthcare.
Abbott’s trip to “grow economies” for Texas only works if the embargo is lifted. So, if President Obama’s trip doesn’t work, then Greg Abbott just wasted a whole bunch of money going to Cuba.
Ted, you got your tang tungled.
So ole TRUSTed has Cuban Citizen Raphael battling Canadian Citizen Raphael inside his head. It must be crowded in there. If only the Constitution made citizenship more clear. Is Raphael a Canadian birthright Citizen or a Cuban citizen because of his (presumed) biological father or an American citizen because of his birthmom? It most be difficult for Raphael to serve so many masters simultaneously. Doesn’t he look tired?
1Cruz: The Neo-Nixon
A word to all the R’s: Country before Party.
2Rich guys want to make money off Cuba, just like before. They see Communism as interfering with the free flow of money into their own accounts, and that’s their main reason for opposing it. If they can make some money off Cuba even while it’s still Communist, that’s better (they’ve convinced themselves) than making no money off Cuba during the embargo. IOW, they’re willing to bet that if they can make some money off Cuba, eventually they can make a lot of money off Cuba.
Rich guys give their candidates and elected officials lots of campaign money. And other goodies. So naturally Abbott will do as he’s told and try to make some contacts that will allow his backers to make money off Cuba, especially since the taxpayers foot the bill for his travel. Abbott can easily claim that he’s not soft on Communism, he’s just strong for making money anywhere money can be made.
Now Cruz is in a bind, because if he’s not tough on Cuba, people will say it’s because he’s half Cuban. And if he’s not tough on Obama, people will say he’s not conservative enough. Sometimes the same people who want to make money off Cuba. Because they don’t like him because he’s just not a pleasant guy to be around. He may be the dog you set on prowlers, but he’s the dog who, in the house, stinks up the place, knocks the kids over, pees on the guests’ legs, and steals meat off the table when your back is turned then growls at you when you pick up the rolled newspaper.
3Canada? Cuba? Per his remarks yesterday to AIPAC, Loathsome Ted Crooze has aspirations to plant his Daddy’s Dominionist flag in Jerusalem. Fine.
Go for it Teddie, but never as CIC nor with US troops. Assemble your own chicken hawk brigade and lead it into battle your ownself and on your own dime or the coin of the other pervangelists. Onward Christian Soldiers!
4Elizabeth Moon, excellent! “steals meat off the table” You are too kind. You kindly omitted that Ted’s the type of mutt that has one foot in the gravy and one in the mashed potatoes, while he steals the meat. Then he jumps off the table destroying the remaining crockery.
5Nope. The tang is not tungled at all. Teddy Boy’s one and only mantra is, “Obama Bad.” When backed into a corner he might add, “Any and all Republicans Good – no matter what.” But the main mantra is firmly in place.
Hey, give the guy a break. It’s the only party trick he knows.
6July will be such fun! Reince Priebus has two dates to the RNC Prom. Will he go with the boss’s son, Donnie Drumpf, and risk date rape? Or, will he choose the non-deodorant using terminal halitosis cousin with the stomach turning complexion, Loathsome Ted?
Oh wait. Reince has a third invite in the mail. It’s from Prince ALEC Ksuchasheis who with one kiss will revert to his true form, a frog.
7@pkm
Maybe OT maybe not, but just for you, a precious little fairy tale about a princess and a frog, who alleges he is a handsome prince!
Once upon a time, in a land far far away, a frog happened upon a beautiful, independent, self-assured Little Princess as she sat on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle, contemplating issues important to her.
The frog hopped into the princess’ lap and said, “Beautiful Princess, once, I was a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the handsome prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, wash my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.
That night, as the Little Princess supped on a sumptuous repast of frog legs golden sautéed in tomato garlic butter, she chuckled to herself and thought, “I don’t f’ing think so.”
8THE END
Micr, thanks for the cool fairy tale. Poor Reince. So many frogs and so little Chianti, whatever will he do?
His choices range from venomous to poisonous with Crooze being the most fatal of the bunch. Canadians have already stated they don’t want him. Expect the Cubans to state likewise, after they stop laughing at him.
9Micro, loved the froggy tale. The princess didn’t fall for the frog’s lies, but she may end up with severe indigestion, having eaten that gas-filled toad. May I suggest Milk of Magnesia rather than Chianti.
10Thanks.
One of my daughters was in high school and a frog was offering her such a deal. I had bigger dreams for her than marriage and kids at 17 or 18. The frog remained to this day a frog and the beautiful little princess will finish a masters at SMU in 2017. 🙂
Her father is pleased with the outcome.
11Micr, just one of the best fairy tales for our time. Thanks! And all the best to your princess.
12Cannot understand how this guy got through an Ivy League undergrad school and law school and be dumber than a hollowed out Halloween pumpkin. Maybe it was that fling in Scalia’s office after law school. Imagine this: the fundie constitutional justice and the fund law clerk. Ah! It must have been magic!
13@Micr-1
“So ole TRUSTed has Cuban Citizen Raphael battling Canadian Citizen Raphael inside his head. It must be crowded in there.
“Go for it Teddie, but never as CIC nor with US troops.”
Nope, Micr, must be plenty of room in that head since he seems to not have a brain capable of critical thought unless it’s to his advantage. DetesTED is my senator, and I can’t stand to see him or hear him….
@PKM-4 & 5
Assemble your own chicken hawk brigade and lead it into battle your ownself and on your own dime or the coin of the other pervangelists. Onward Christian Soldiers!”
“Ted’s the type of mutt that has one foot in the gravy and one in the mashed potatoes, while he steals the meat. Then he jumps off the table destroying the remaining crockery.”
Brilliant, just brilliant. Thanks so much for posting those!
14Oh. My. God. You Beauty Shop denizens are in such fine form today! I have snorted,
15Wow! What a day! Is the salon sending out posters? or bumper stickers?
16Wow! Micr, the wonderful ending to your real-life frog tale made my day!
17TRUS Ted should audition for the role of Two Face in the next Batman movie. It is a part he was born to play.
18