This Is What Happens To Republicans When Nobody Brings Up Sex All Day

January 10, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

It is scientifically provable that Republicans are happiest when they are talking about sparkin’. Apparently, they are against it. Doing it, they are against doing it. Talking about it all the damn time seems to okay.

The scientific community will be please that I have uncovered more evidence of The Theorem of Repressed Republican Ribaldry.

Missouri.

UnknownA Missouri lawmaker introduced a bill Wednesday that would require lobbyists to report “sexual relations” with state legislators as a “gift” in their disclosures to the state ethics commission.

“We’ve already got a lobbyist gift reporting requirement and so that’s how I worked it in there, by treating it as a definition of gift,” Rep. Bart Korman, a Republican from High Hill, told CNN on Thursday. “I hope it deters any of that activity, but that if activity does occur, it’s at least transparent.”

Korman knows this ain’t gonna happen. You cannot stop people from doing the wild thing, but that isn’t for lack of Republican efforts.

Korman just wanted to talk about sex.

In case you’re wondering about how one would go about reporting the “gift” of “sexual relations” …

In the new bill, “the reporting of sexual relations for purposes of this subdivision shall not require a dollar valuation.”

Well, there ya go. That’s why they don’t do it. It’s worthless.

Thanks to Sharon and Chloe for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “This Is What Happens To Republicans When Nobody Brings Up Sex All Day”


  1. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    That’s the approach! Let’s make talking about gun safety sound sexy to the rabid right.

    http://editorialcartoonists.com/cartoons/GreenS/2016/GreenS20160107_low.jpg

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  2. austinhatlady says:

    @PKM
    That’s very kool!

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  3. Hm-m. If it has a dollar value that would make it prostitution. And if it has no dollar value then it is free and they are hippies. Yeah that should do the trick.

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  4. JAKvirginia says:

    I take exception to this: “Doing it, they are against doing it.” I believe thay are against YOU doing it. From what I read, they’re doing it all the time.

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  5. BraxtonBraggart says:

    If he wants “transparency” in government, shouldn’t he be requiring the legislators to report it, rather than the lobbyists?

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  6. I don’t think that he doesn’t want to attach a dollar amount to sexual relations with Republicans because he thinks it is worthless. I think he imagines that sexual relations with hisownself are in fact priceless and therefore beyond any sort of sordid monetary classification.

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  7. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    D’oh. Now I get it. Bart wasn’t getting any. This is just his way of letting the lobbyists know he is available.

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  8. Thanks Polite Kool Marxist, nice!
    Makes sense, in a sane world perhaps…
    If Republicans had any common sense or civil reason they would be Democrats.

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  9. e platypus onion says:

    If lobbyists report it,legislators can always call them liberal liars who hate ‘murrica because-religious freedumb.

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  10. Marcia in CO says:

    Prostitute = payment
    Whore = free

    SMH

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  11. W. C. (Pete) Peterson says:

    I really think lobbying should be a cash-only enterprise, strictly cash-only with a ten dollar bill being the largest denomination allowed to change hands. No checks, no platinum credit cards, nothing but small-denomination currency. That way, it will be much easier to spot which Congressperson is on the take and how much he/she is taking.

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  12. Yeah,

    Someday we will look at sexual harassment as a bonus, too.

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  13. So he completely lacks any talent for really doing his job and he comes up with this ****? What a total DOOFUS!

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  14. UmptyDump says:

    What if a legislator regards sexual relations with a lobbyist as a “gift” to the lobbyist? Take a horny legislator hitting on an ugly lobbyist (gender of either party optional), and consider who does what to whom. It’s a two way street sometimes. In the interests of “transparency” – as Korman says – maybe he’d like to see the smart phone videos.

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  15. Too bad Big Daddy Unruh can’t help Bart Korman get straight with how to deal with lobbyists. He described dealing with lobbyists in his time in the Cali lege this way “If you can’t take their money, drink their bourbon and f*** their women, then come in here the next day and vote against them, you don’t belong here.” Good Democrat too.

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  16. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Micr, a pragmatic politician like Jesse Unruh is a thing of beauty! Would have had to looked up your reference, were it not for the fact that we have the Bill Boyarsky book about Unruh for our edification, since Jane is planning on doing her civic duty in the near future (2020 or 2024). He was the best thing Texas ever gave Cali.

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  17. So this is what GOoPers think happens all the time. I knew there was some reason by people who hate government so much are so desperate to get into it.

    But now I’m picturing women in the Senate and House being “gifted” by hunky lobbyists…. Hmm.

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  18. @PKM
    Never knew there was a Texas connection with Unruh. Wiki sez he hailed from Kansas, but I spose he might have gone south before he went west. Either way he understood in an LBJ sort of way how to play politics. And I mean politics played full contact, no pads.

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  19. e platypus onion says:

    That is why sex is considered a misdemeanor-the more you mis,demeanor you get.

    Then there was the wingnut science/biological project about making hormones and the correct answer had nothing to do with not paying them,as Trump will be sure to remind everyone.

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  20. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Micr, Bill Boyarsky’s book alluded to the fact he was born into Texas sharecropper poverty. Family could easily have moved to Kansas or Bill omitted the word “style” from the Texas sharecropper poverty description. Historically, my favorite Kennedy was RFK. Nothing wrong with a little brass knuckles, when dealing with recalcitrant snacilbupeR. Like bricking a dumb animal to make them drink ….

    My main complaint with President Obama is that he didn’t go “all gangsta” on the Republicans, as they had predicted.

    Keep hoping AG Lynch will channel her inner RFK and visit a few states.

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  21. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    e platypus onion, science to a snacilbupeR? Is that like studying the sex life of a Missouri mule? Maybe that’s the source of Bart’s discontent; he is a Missouri pol.

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  22. PKM, that’s the perfect ammosexual cartoon.

    epo, is Jesse Unruh related to the SD Unruhs?

    In the meantime, I wonder if there is an end to snacilbupeR sex obsession? Is there a law that would finally ease their preoccupation? What would it be?

    No sex for anyone except them and those they approve of.
    Punishment for sex outside their rules is doing it again in front of them.
    Sex for procreation only, and must not be enjoyed, especially by women.
    Women’s only function is recipient of any sexual act snacilbupeR choose, and carrying every single pregnancy ever conceived. Ever. EVER.

    SnacilbupeR are so f**ked in the head. Perverts.

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  23. Debbo, the more I think about this, the more I think the problem with these guys is that they are scared of sex with women.

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  24. e platypus onion says:

    Debbo-I have no idea and have found no connections, yet. 🙂

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  25. two crows says:

    He gave himself away a little bit, here.
    “We’ve already got a lobbyist gift reporting requirement and so that’s how I worked it in there . . . .”

    He had to “work it in” so that he could, once again, talk about sex and about how nasty it all is.

    Btw – Rachel Maddow designed a form for Missouri lobbyists if they’d care to use it. It even has a little square so they can draw pictures if they want to. You know – – to keep everything transparent. Just like that lovely negligee the lobbyist gave to the congress person. The negligee, of course, would have to have a “dollar valuation.”

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  26. You’ve probably got something there Henry. I think they’re scared of most things other than another old white guy.

    Yeah epo. I guess not all crazy, sex obsessed snacilbupeR are inbred. Just the overwhelming majority.

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  27. epo’s cartoon is probably based on a proposed Missouri law,
    http://www.salon.com/2015/12/04/make_guns_as_difficult_to_access_as_abortions_one_democratic_lawmakers_novel_gun_control_proposal/. Not the first time the idea was ever suggested (at least once as early as 2013, http://www.examiner.com/article/what-if-gun-laws-were-like-abortion-laws), but the Missouri case apparently got a lot of press. I *love* it!

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  28. From the looks of this guy he doesn’t get any, so he’s running a bill to make sure none of his legislative colleagues get any either.

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  29. Linda Phipps says:

    The lobbyist is not the one providing the “favors” … it’s their paid stable of willing “escorts”.

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  30. I knew Jesse Unruh’s son when I was in high school, he as a little older and prone to doing things like sitting naked in a tree frying on LSD while his dad was in office. A good guy though and fun to be around.

    I wonder of Mr. Norman’s bill could be amended so while the dollar figure was left out the weight of the gift could be substituted and save a little of the embarrassment. One could report, for instance, the gift of 120lbs of Sugar.

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  31. Perhaps if they did have to declare a dollar value to the ‘dirty deed’, it might violate campaign finance laws. And we know that Republicans would never want to violate any law.

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  32. I betcha that he was thinking just of heterosexual sex. Probably because he considers homosexual sex illegal. If someone reported a ‘gift’ from someone of the same sex he would have them arrested.

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  33. e platypus onion says:

    No offense,but could congresscritters write off a hum job as a music lesson?

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  34. Lobbyist sex shouldn’t be taxed as a gift. Since the lobbyists get something in return it should be taxed as income to the legislators.

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