It is scientifically provable that Republicans are happiest when they are talking about sparkin’. Apparently, they are against it. Doing it, they are against doing it. Talking about it all the damn time seems to okay.

The scientific community will be please that I have uncovered more evidence of The Theorem of Repressed Republican Ribaldry.

Missouri.

A Missouri lawmaker introduced a bill Wednesday that would require lobbyists to report “sexual relations” with state legislators as a “gift” in their disclosures to the state ethics commission.

“We’ve already got a lobbyist gift reporting requirement and so that’s how I worked it in there, by treating it as a definition of gift,” Rep. Bart Korman, a Republican from High Hill, told CNN on Thursday. “I hope it deters any of that activity, but that if activity does occur, it’s at least transparent.”

Korman knows this ain’t gonna happen. You cannot stop people from doing the wild thing, but that isn’t for lack of Republican efforts.

Korman just wanted to talk about sex.

In case you’re wondering about how one would go about reporting the “gift” of “sexual relations” …

In the new bill, “the reporting of sexual relations for purposes of this subdivision shall not require a dollar valuation.”

Well, there ya go. That’s why they don’t do it. It’s worthless.

Thanks to Sharon and Chloe for the heads up.