And For An Encore, He Ran Faster Than a Speeding Bullet, and Leapt a Tall Building In a Single Bound
There’s some wild and wooly stories about Dr. Ben Carson.
His wife just joined in. In her brand spankin’ new book, she claims that Carson delivered their son at home.
In her new book A Doctor in the House: My Life With Ben Carson, the wife of the presidential hopeful says that she went into early labor with their second son at their home, and Carson immediately sprang into acting, delivering a healthy baby boy.
She also reveals he cut the child’s umbilical cord with a hair clip and caught the baby in one hand and her afterbirth in another hand.
Yeah, that’s a headline for sure. “Doctor Delivers Baby.”
Honey, taxi cab drivers deliver babies. There ain’t much to it.
Although I do admit that knowing how to operate a hair clip takes some pretty advanced knowledge.
Then she tells about the time he chased down carjackers.
That is not the only story she shares either, also revealing that once carjackers stole Carson’s Jaguar but he managed to catch up to them and after recognizing who he was they shook his hand and gave him back his car.
Sure, I believe that. And unicorns.
Thanks to Brian C for the heads up.
I delivered a baby once, and I’m not a doctor or a taxi driver.
I do recall the afterbirth did not immediately follow the birth, so either Candy had a quick and easy go of it, or Ben didn’t want to give up the baby until he had two or three objects in his hands to show how he could also juggle.
He is after all, a man of many, many talents.
1Even a /snark response would add dignity to these quotes. I have gluteal blindness in all matters dealing with Ben Carson.
2I don’t care if he can deliver babies and walk on water. He has absolutely no business being President.
3The good doctor is way beyond belief … somewhere out in the outer limits.
4Another secret revealed and we didn’t even ask. We now know why/how she stays with him; she’s equally crazy. Thanks Candy!
5There is no doubt a painting of her in their house, with Mary’s arm caressing her belly.
6Ben who?
7Being for the Benefit of Mental Ben
For the benefit of Mental Ben
There will be a show at ten for President
The Hypocrites will all be there
The white ones with the blue-rinsed hair and earthy scent
Hawking books and movies, speeches, pamphlets
Paintings, etchings, babies and an afterbirth,
For a fee Mental B will grift all the world!
The celebrated Mental B
Performs these feats – but never free – with eyes a-close.
He’ll stab a friend and bash his mom,
Then God will drop the Jesus-bomb upon his nose.
Mister Mental B assures the public
Rumors of his bullshitting are only that,
And the press making this mess are out for his soul!
The grift begins at ten to six
When Mental B will turn his tricks with little sound.
Then he will fly his motorcade
On Fairy farts and Gatorade above the ground.
Any semblance of reality attached to
8This campaign is mere coincidence.
And again Mental Ben will laugh to the bank
daChipster: Mental B. Is that his rap I.D.?
9So . . . he’s a midwife. Congrats. Still don’t think he is actually smart enough to be President. Surgeon, yes. His nicely defined well laid out narrow track. Beyond which he is totally devoid of talent.
10I’ll raise your believing unicorns with unicorn farts!
11Ohferpete’ssake. Well you know he’s got that picture of himself standing in front of Jesus.
12daChipster, was that a parody the song from Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, “For the Benefit of Mr. Kite”?
13Brilliant!
Indeed ’twas, maryelle.
14I delivered my son Levi on a farm near a little town in Minnesota
15on Halloween night in 1984. Can I run for President now?
Yah know I dont mean to belittle Mental B or anyone else who has stood by while a mom birthed a babe, but COME ON. At most he played catcher. Mom did all the work. A midwife who has herownself birthed a child has more skin in the game than male MDs. Dont break an arm patting yoreself on the back doc.
16Agent J had a harder time in Men In Black 1…
17https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Folie_%C3%A0_deux
18daChipster, you never cease to amaze! For that matter, and for another reason altogether, Carson and soulmate also do.
19A book, you say? Next up, Kickin’ It With My Dad, the Doctor? This family has books in them.
20I know where she stole the car story from.
This IS a true story. How do I know? I heard it on, Wait! Wait! Don’t Tell Me!” They do real research and everything.
True story follows:
Mr. Rogers went out to get in his car and found it gone. Because it was Mr. Rogers’ car, it made the local news. The next day, he heard a sound and looked outside. His car was back and two guys were running away. Inside the car was a note, “If we’d known it was YOUR car, we wouldn’t have taken it. Sorry.”
What amazes me most about this whole thing is that the wife of a Republican candidate listens to Wait! Wait! Don’t tell me!
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