Fun With Guns: Your Butt Edition
Okay, if I ever get accidentally shot in the butt, please keep it as low key as this.
Here’s the entire story. It’s Gary, Illinois.
GARY | A Gary woman was shot in the buttocks Sunday morning in an apparent accidental shooting in the city’s Miller section, police said.
The 27-year-old woman was taken to a hospital for treatment after the shooting about 8:40 a.m. in the 5800 block of Forest Court, Lt. Dawn Westerfield said. The woman’s wounds were not life-threatening.
The circumstances surrounding the shooting remain under investigation, Westerfield said. She declined to release more details pending further investigation.
Look, enough said.
Another “accidental” shooting, hardly worth mentioning except for the “comedy” value of the anatomical location. Maybe it was her own gun, maybe it wasn’t, but yep, guns make us all safer!
1So getting shot in the rump is non-life-threatening in Indiana. Probably a different story amongst Texas politicians .
2“The circumstances surrounding the shooting remain under investigation”
No doubt. With lines of trajectory, arrows marking the points of discharge and impact, all superimposed on a stand in buttock downloaded from KimKardashian.com
This could take a while.
3I do believe that Indiana where
4“Gar-y In-di-ana Gar-y IN-di-ana Gar-y In-dee-ana” is located.
“Does this bullet scar make my butt look big?”
5There is nothing honorable about being shot. Subtract from that if you are negligently shot. Subtract some more from that if you are negligently butt shot.
Except,
@Paul
You bring up a great point. A butt shot Texas politico might be a his or her cry for help, presuming that is attempted suicide and all.
6Does anyone else hear Forrest Gump describing his injury?
7What is the Miller section. Are there Coors, Budweiser, and Schlitz sections? Is this some sort of city sponsorship? It may explain the shooting as most end with a “alcohol was involved” tagline.
8@Rick
9That’s just unsporting to use the KimCardassian butt as an example rather than the actual butt shot butt. The KimCardassian butt is likely to me a geometric order of magnitude larger than the butt shot butt. Stevie Wonder hisownself could butt shoot KimCardassian, no problem.
(holy gluteus maximus)
10@Maggie
11Did you mean
(holy gluteus Maximus)(holy gluteus Maximus)
hahaha Micr.
12this story reads as though this is a kind of common occurrence, in the “Miller” section of town. I wonder, do they compare butt wound scars at the local YWCA?
13Some things you just don’t wanna talk about.
14This was one of those new fangled body piercing techniques….gone terribly bad.
15https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miller_Beach
16It sounds like one of the better areas of Gary, if there is such a thing.
@TrulyTexan – There is a neighborhood along the Lake Michigan shoreline in the far northeast corner of Gary that is commonly called Miller, or Miller Beach. Miller Beach was an independent town that was annexed by Gary nearly a century ago. It’s something other than a regular neighborhood because it is separated by almost three miles from the other Gary urban neighborhoods by manufacturing industries, woodlands and a public park – hence the locals still commonly call it the “Miller section” of Gary. As to Miller’s “alcohol involvement,” there really was a connection during Prohibition, but n to what you propose. The long, wide beaches in Indiana were a major conduit for shipping Canadian liquor into the Chicago market under cover of darkness.
17I harken back to the immortal words of Diane Chambers in the “Thanksgiving Orphans” episode: “Sam Malone, kiss your butt goodbye!” There ensued a classic food fight, no guns were fired, but perhaps the shooter in this case had no access to a sweet potato casserole or mashed potatoes so he/she used what was at hand: an AK47, AR15 or glock. Perfectly understandable.
18Sorry, that was an episode of Cheers. Butt of course!
19