Flashback
Remember the last time Republicans played musical chairs with the Speakership?
It’s deja vu all over again.
First there was Newt Gingrich. Newt announced that he would not preside over “a chamber filled with cannibals,” when Republicans blamed him for … well, they blamed him for being Newt Gingrich. That whole cannibal thing made me giggle since Gingrich had been chewing on Bill Clinton’s butt for four years.
Of course Gingrich meant that Republicans were eating their own. Yeah well, that has not changed.
So in 1999, Gingrich quits. Next comes Bob Livingston, one of Clinton’s loudest critics. Turns out that Ole Bob been sparkin’ in the barnyard so he has to step down in a public humiliation that’s becoming a ritual for sanctimonious Republicans.
Next, a backroom deal was done and a former high school shop teacher without enough brains to scramble was selected. Denny Hastert was two IQ points smarter than his gavel but he was clean. Or so they said.
An attorney for Dennis Hastert told a federal judge Thursday that the former House speaker intends to plead guilty in a federal hush-money case.
The 73-year-old Illinois Republican is charged with breaking banking laws and lying to the FBI in efforts to pay someone $3.5 million to hide claims of past misconduct.
You know, it’s a good thing that we have video of all this because future generations would never believe that Republicans did this even once, not to mention twice.
Bless their hearts, they are playing hell trying to find a guy with a rusted zipper.
I notice that there is a dearth of Republican Congresswomen in line for an audition as Speaker. Wonder why that is! Hmm.
1They aren’t looking for someone with a rusty zipper. They are looking for someone stupid enough to put his pants on backwards. Same result, but with the stupidity required for the job.
2There is Kathy McMorris Rodgers from my state who is always seen in the background with Boehner, McCarthy, et al. However, I doubt that the GOP looks at her other than window dressing. She would not be a good speaker. She is part of the 40-person xtian contingent, thus an obstructionist for sure.
3I can just imagine Molly Ivins looking down on all this and laughing.
4Wow. Once you add to the job description something about you know character, honesty for example, wellll Republicans need not apply.
@Maggie
5Thing is some of the ladies the GOP/Tea Party gentlemen are boinking are GOP/Tea Party members as well. As Ursula says “Life’s full of tough choices, iddinit?”
@Paul … dear Molly I. is probably laughing and shaking her disbelieving head at what is going on down here … I can only begin to imagine what tidbits her newspaper columns would be about if she were still walking among us!! Not much made Molly speechless, but some of the shenanigans going on these days just might render her almost speechless!!
6You left out squeaky clean hot tub Tom. What wuz you thinking,Ms JJ?
7Ain’t Gingrich the one that started the then Speaker Tom Foley was gay campaign and helped ouster Foley from Congress? Nice guys,what?
8Maybe they should use their Dig-Up-Dirt-On-Dems machinery to find out ahead of time if any of them have a cow in the woodshed or whatever it is they’ve been doing.
And then they could bill the taxpayers millions for having endless hearings about it.
9My $5 bet on Hot tub Tom still stands.
101.smart.canerican- K M Rodgers is being looked at as next house majority leader. McCarthy had been accused of knocking knees with wingnut Renee Elmers of North Carolina. She vehemently denied this and said she was gonna pray for people that start these rumours. That would include the entire wingnut cabal if she included rumours about Obama.
11At least four Texans have been mentioned as possible candidates for the speakership,plus Ryan and Cheney and who knows who else.
12The Speakership is starting to remind me of the fruitcake song.
Who gets the fruitcake this year?
13Is it Cousin, or Auntie, or Grandmama dear?
It’s better to give than receive– Take it, here!
Who gets the fruitcake this year?
Yeah, I remember fruitcake. It was full of nuts!
14Hate to say it, but I’m getting tired of popcorn. We need a new treat while watching the Republican’ts implode. How about nuts?
15Thanks, Maggie for the inspiration.
Even though Hastert, DeLay and the rest of the fine, upstanding Republicans may be having some “legal issues” I still contend that Newt has received the worst punishment of all …. has anyone really looked at Callista?
16Maryelle? Cheesecake. Yummmmm…
17Last night local NBC Channel 4 had on Marsha the Lightbulb Moron Blackburn being ‘coquettish’ and not taking the Speaker proposal seriously – her makeup was horrid – still trying to find video – it shows what she really looks like – will post if I can find it.
Marsha is 65 years old, pretends she’s ‘young and cute’ rather than just plain ridiculously stupid.
18JAKvirginia, we could save the scrumptious high calorie cheesecake for the Best of Republican Fails, but my cardiologist would recommend lower fat consumption while viewing so many daily Repug moronics.
19Maryelle: True. My favorite cheesecake is not part of a low fat diet, but we’re dealing with fat cats and fat heads here so it fits the theme. No?
20And the Republicans are always accusing the Dems of wasting money. Hastert didn’t get a very good deal, did he …
21Larry Cross, you got that right! I used to run into her from time to time whenever I had to go up to the Hill for hearings in a certain room designated solely for the Ag Committee’s purposes. She was in the adjoining public office right by the damn door. Could never figure what any man saw in her. Yeah, I know she used to sing in the church choir. Only means that sometimes even a church choir is desperate.
22We could take up knitting to keep from eating so much cheesecake and other yummy stuff. I saw a lady knitting in the Austin City Council chamber today.
23JAKvirginia, love the fat head theme. If I can whip up a low cholesterol recipe for cheesecake, I’m in.
24Larry Cross and maggie, Calista hasn’t been on the airwaves of late. But Newt has been flaunting his carcass of late. Don’t know what Calista looks like, but given Newt, think of their marriage as saving two other people. A pair to draw to like the Bakkers were.
Like the old joke, Jimmy Swaggert to Jimmy Bakker, “Jimmy boy, Jimmy boy, why did you sin Jimmy boy?” Bakker responds: “have you seen Tammy Faye?”
25Rusty Zipper. Good porn name. (I blush.)
26The problems with these folks are the messed up upbringings that made them need to “indulge” themselves in ways their compatriots would find objectionable. Sadly, they all have stuff they need to hide, even if they all did it! They’re hard wired to lie and so cross-wired that they justify stealing to keep things away from “bad people” that didn’t deserve what they lost. Most sadly those things include happiness and safety in being skin cancer resistant or open with non-hetero sexuality.
27In today’s political climate, I’d be really worried if I saw some elderly lady knitting anywhere near a meeting! Shades of the French Revolution!!
28OMG, Marsha Blackburn is an idiot.
29Calista Gingrich is really plastic looking…got that sort of Stepford look.
I find cherry pie useful during times of GOP stress.
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