August 03, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized
Welcome to The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.
My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston. I live in Richmond, Texas, in the heart of Tom DeLay's old district. It's nuttier than squirrel poop here.
I am honored and privileged to know Miss Juanita Jean Herownself, hairdresser extraordinary and political maven. Since she does not have time to fiddle with this internet stuff, I type her website for her and you can read it if you want to. If you don't, she truly does not give a big bear's butt.
A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.
This ain't a blog. Blogs are way too trendy for me. This is a professional political organization.
This is encouraging. Whoever made this sign learned phonics in school. Not much else, apparently.
1This made me laugh. I’ve got a long day of work so it’s nice to begin with a smile at least!
One more…the way “bell” is spelled makes it obvious that this is in the south!
2kill me now.
3Too funny. “Bail” pepr has all kinds of connotations. And, as a good southern boy, I had no difficulty reading this too. Not certain if that is a good or bad thing!
4I spent a looooong time til I figured out zookeene. Thanks for sharing the morning puzzle. You don’t see signs like that in Austin.
5You are a classic. I just may survive the loss of Jon Stewart………not really, I fear……but Colbert lurks….and Opus is back…..this old broad is hanging in……….thanks for your help in this nutty country.
6i saw a sign in farming/vineyard country last year that said:
7“Fresh cron”. it was hand made so its not like it was a digital error. they might have made your sign if they had had more produce.
And they say literacy is dead. They’re right!
8It saddens me to report that I read the sign first time, without a problem. 🙁 Apparently you can take the boy out of the deep east Texas bull$hit but you can’t take the deep east Texas bull$hit out of the boy. @JanK’s encouraging statement about phonics notwithstanding.
9Basic advertising strategy: Choose the most effective message and visuals for your advertising campaign. Perhaps the person who made the sign was very aware of what they were doing. It did get the attention of folks reading it.
10Thanks to hanging around the WMDBS,it was a snap to read. Now my eyes need rehab.
11Translation please. I don’t knock Texas Cracker. Thanks
12That is I don’t KNOW Texas Cracker. Sorry.
13@JAKvirginia
14It is a list a vegetables presumably for sale at a roadside stand.
Zucchini
potatoes and tomatoes
jalapeño
Bell pepper(s)
By the time I’d figure out what was written on that sign I’d be too far down the road to make it worth my while to turn around and buy something.
@ JAKvirginia – the sign reads: Zucchini Potatoes and tomatoes jalapenos bell pepper
15I guess the kioats or rackoonz ate his wadermellans.
16Had a little trouble with the “Bail” pepper, we Alaskan’s must have had a different spelling and composition text book then you Texans. Or maybe it’s the accent.
17Y’all have me cryin whilst a wait to c the dokter!
18Hallo, Pinyo -izzat yoo?
19Well, now, I guess I am a true citizen of the world: I could read it all right away the first time. Born in North Dakota, currently living in Virginia.
20Just starting out in working life decades ago, I spent a summer job editing classified ads. There was a guy trying to sell a dog, claiming it had “rabbi shits.” Didn’t say whether the mutt was circumcised. Probably couldn’t even try to spell the word.
21Guess who they’re voting for. If they can read the ballot. Or maybe they just need the first letter?
22Hey, would that be Louie’s part of texas, by any chance?
23People who are well read, and can read well, can read almost anything. Those who struggle to read standard English have a hard time reading anything. I suspect the vendor here knows exactly how to spell all his wares, and is trying to increase business. (S)he may well have studied Ebonics in school, as well as phonics. One can only hope…
24Probably written by the same mental giant who wrote the infamous “Get a brain, moran!” protest sign.
You have to admit, though, it is eye-catching.
25I didn’t have any trouble reading it, though the “bail” peppers made me smile (and I agree, suggests the east Texas locale is probably right on).
I always tell people (including my boss) if you don’t know how to spell it, and can’t look it up, at least spell phonetically so the rest of us can figure it out!
Also, I’ll commend the signmakers on the YOOOOGE-ness of it – you could see that puppy from a good ways off, making it a good deal more effective than the bulk of hand lettered signs on the sides of the road.
26I think there are some letters painted over….
Vot 4 louee…
or something like that….
27Maybe it is just an oversize bumper sticker. Everything is bigger in Texas,is it not?
28Thanks for the translations everybody. I only got as far as Florida Cracker in my education. Ball p-nuts anyone?
29Laughing. Everyone knows that “bell” has two syllables: “bay-ull”. I love the sign. Anyone hungry for good produce would pull over. I guess the mayullins ain’t ripe yet.
30There’s the old story about the counterfeiter who accidentally printed up a bunch of $18.00 bills. He figured, though, that, if he headed deep into the sticks, he should be able to pass them.
After driving far into the countryside, he pulled up to a little store, walked in, and presented a bill. “May I have change for this?”
“Sure,” says the storekeeper. “You want two nines or three sixes?”
This vegetable stand has gotten more free advertising from some phonics than it could have gotten by paying for three billboards and an ad campaign on the local right-wing talker.
I suspect you all done had your legs pulled by a country slicker
31Spoiler alert; don’t read if you want to solve the puzzle yourself:It all fell in place once I got “zookeene” figured out (although I had my suspicions with taters, maters foiled me momentarily); but I never would have gotten the whole thang if someone hadn’t alerted me to “bail” = “bell”.
32Well, guess I am hooked on phonics. Easy to read and the bail peprs seem most appropriate if your customers are Texas pols.
33Go ahead, laugh…but these cretins all VOTE, every election. And you know who they vote for…
34Fifty years ago I lived in Deep East Texas. That sign very accurately depicts how people spoke around there, including “maters” for tomatoes. I’d give it A+ for being phonetically correct. And it is no reflection on either intelligence or education, either. I have a good friend, Phi Beta Kappa, magna cum laude, etc., and an English major to boot, who can’t spell. Some people just can’t.
35That sign has been all over Facebook!!
36Zookeenes are the progeny of zucchinis that married as first cousins.
37I could barely figure it out as I have severe dyslexia and memorized the outline of the boxy shapes of words. Phonics mean nothing to some of us. I can read backwards, upside down and in the mirror –just not this travesty of the Webster/Oxford Dictionary. If there are too many up shapes or hanging down shapes, they are spelled wrong. These didn’t even register as words. I have an okay mind, used to be able to read a standard novel in about 3 hours–takes all day now, I’ve so far been lucky, it doesn’t mean it will hold if this idea of free for all illiterate spelling catches on…I worry for my grandkids who could be like me…
38Carlo, you made me LOL!
I had the most difficult time with “bail” too. I guess here in Minnesota we struggle with non-nasal accents.
39I kin rid er two.
Then again, I am from Arizona and my father came from Texas. Is that cheating?
40He had the sense and talent to grow the veggies and the gumption and courage to sell them on the side of the road. The sign communicates just fine.
41God Bless him.
Crone, right on! Whoever made the sign works, responsibly. Growing and harvesting vegetables and fruits is hard work. Those folks earn no retirement, other than social security, and their only shot at medical insurance is medicare or Obamacare. Now that we have all laughed at the bad spelling it is time to stand with these good Americans and demand justice for all.
42They only get social security if they’re honest and pay the tax. Not everyone does. Your social security is calculated through your reported earnings. If you never report anything, you will never get anything.
43In the words of David Allen Coe: “If that ain’t country I’ll kiss you ass.”
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