Fun With Guns and Holy Crap: A Two-Fer
Montana. Big Sky Country. Mean people.
A guy goes into a bar. He orders a Red Beer – beer with tomato juice.
The 29 year old bartender mixes the beer with Clamato, a tomato juice and clam mixture. The guy, 59 year old Monte Hanson, is livid.
After the bar closed, Hanson reportedly went to the home of Joe Lewis, the 29-year old bartender. Hanson says it’s against his religious beliefs – he is Jewish – to drink Clamato, so he allegedly shot Lewis.
The bartender was hospitalized but will recover.
And as you would expect, the recipe for a red beer is beer and Clamato.
Thanks to Irene for the heads up.
Religion kills. I donated at the link on the GOFUNDME page.
1Kary
Definitely a capital offense.
2What a…I can’t type the word, but you know the one I want. Thank you for spreading the news; I was happy to give a bit to his recovery fund.
3People that inhale,imbibe,scarf down shellfish like clams and/or oysters prolly need to be shot. Double-triple yuuuuck!!
4That’ll larn him.
5Good news that the bartender, Mr. Joe Lewis will make a full recovery.
But lets feel for the “real victim,” Mr. Hanson, truly a victim out of chapter eight of “The Pussification of Western Bars.” As any damn fool knows mixed drinks are for women. A red beer is a recipe, and we all know recipes are for women. Real men order a beer served in a bottle, no glass, no mug or any of that other crockery designed for women. Only glassware suitable for men is a shot glass, in which the bartender pours whiskey, bourbon, or rye. Mixed, shaken, stirred, blended and recipe are all kitchen words, or simply put: lady drinks.
In his shame for ordering a lady drink, Mr. Hanson obviously had no choice but shooting the witness to his shame. Imagine his dilemma now that the whole world knows he ordered a pussy drink. There ought to be a Y’all Qaeda law that every bar in the West have two menus clearly marked men and ladies.
6OMG, EPO … I LOVE clams and oysters, shrimp and crab … never acquired a taste for lobster. But it’s kinda hard to get good fresh shellfish in S. CO where I am. And I sure as heck wouldn’t want to get shot for loving those things … and, of course, I’m not Jewish.
I had more then my share of red beer when I and my boys were living in Chico, CA … it was simply called tomato beer and I don’t believe clamato juice was used … just regular ole V-8 tomato juice!! It is actually quite good!!
7WTF?
e platypus onion says:
May 19, 2015 at 9:59 am
People that inhale,imbibe,scarf down shellfish like clams and/or oysters prolly need to be shot. Double-triple yuuuuck!!
You don’t know what wtf you’re talking about, epo.
I regularly anchor on/near (can only get so close with an almost six-foot draft now) Aransas Bay* oyster reefs and dive down, filling buckets with those deeeelicious oysters. Raw, right off the reef, fried, BBQ’ed, whatever, yuuummy.
Not to mention doing a little shrimping too, if we had more suitable lobsters they are the best eating.
*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aransas_Bay , I think the first picture at the Wiki link, of the piers, was taken by someone standing on my brothers’ former beachfront (and other South Texas Bays, like the Laguna Madre)
8So many layers of stupid.
9People that inhale,imbibe,scarf down shellfish like clams and/or oysters prolly need to be shot. Double-triple yuuuuck!!
Yes I agree YUUUUUUck!
10Please do not eat such!!! More for me!!!
This could lead to liberals having a shoot out over shellfish; conservatives will rejoice. When the shooting starts I plan to line up on the pro-oyster side of the saloon. In fact I will be on my way to Montana as soon as I buy my new ride. Right now I can go to Waco and get a hell of a good deal on a used Harley.
11Religion is so complicated. On the one hand, no clams. On the other hand, thou shall not kill.
Decisions, decisions…
12Even when I ate shellfish before going veg, I thought drinking clam-tomato juice was revolting. Mixing either or both with beer…. I may have to go lie down with a cold compress on my forehead.
And if someone accidentally served me meat, I wouldn’t be happy, but I wouldn’t shoot the bugger. Is there some Bible verse that says you’re allowed to? Probably there is.
13I don’t claim to be religious, but I’m pretty sure that shooting people is also against Jewish religious beliefs.
14what sort of person would drink such a thing?
15i feel all gagy ‘n’stuff now.
Clams and oysters are like liver-not palatable for humans. So maybe shot is a bit harsh. How about totally nuked?
16For the record I don’t drink beer,either. Or any other alcohol.
17laughing.
18Poor e platypus onion, liver and beer and other beverages too?
OMFG, we even luvs “mollejas”*, etc down here.
Liver ‘n onions were a staple when I was a kid, raw fresh ground hamburger (lightly seasoned), Barbacoa** on Sundays (as my ex always specified: “Sin ojos”), lots of other goodies.
German, Dutch, Czech#, and Mexican meat markets and bakeries, culinary deelights of a long time ago.
And a “Painkiller***” from Cheddars is pure heaven (or from the Soggy Dollar Bar, BVI, or elsewhere in the Carib).
Hell, floating like an otter in the lee of the boat with the wind and waves, shucking and slurping oysters that were minding their business on the reef below just minutes before is paradise…
*http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Mollejas&redirect=no
**http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbacoa
***http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Painkiller_%28cocktail%29
# a Czech coworker always pushed “headcheese”, but I drew the line there…
19http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Head_cheese
On looking at the pics there, we ate that too…urk…
All this is why I stick with Guinness or Wild Turkey and 7up. Neither rub any one, except the tee-totaler, the wrong way.
20O crap! He shot the bartender’s dog, too? May the clamato bite him in the butt and give him lifelong nightmares!
21What I have never understood is that you get charged for attempted murder not murder because even though you tried to kill him, wanted to kill him, but you were such a bad shot, you get charged with a lesser crime. He will probably say that he was only going to shoot the dog and missed!
22An armed Jew named Monte walks into a Montana bar and orders a red beer…
…like that even needs a punchline!
23Hey – I’m a Jew and I sure as hell not going to shoot someone over Clamato and beer – unless of course I ordered a double bloody mary (heavy on the horseradish). In that case I’d just go to your house and rearrange your plants so they would look unslightly and not well planned. Yeah that’s right – don’t mess with us Jews
24OMG I just reread the article – I didn’t know there were Jews in Montana!!!
25Sharon, we’re everywhere! This Jewish cowboy is ranching in northwestern Nevada. Hopefully that little piece of learning will give Y’all Qaeda a case of the fits. 😀
26I’m as kosher as possible to be — I’m vegan. I’ve also never shot anyone, or at anyone. Never had a red beer, either.
27Red beers involve an unfortunate waste of tomato juice and a terrible waste of beer. Some folks recommend red beer as a hangover cure or as punishment for over-indulging.
28He shot the DOG! Now that’s just wrong. May he rot in hell for that.
29One last shot at icky things I can’t stomach-I am proud to say I have never wasted a minute of my life watching the Letterman Show and I won’t miss that no talent guy at all.
30I can’t be the only one who read this and thought of Walter Sobchak. Can’t you hear him saying, as he draws his pistol, ” I don’t f*****g drink Clamato!” in the same tone as “I don’t f******g roll on Shabbas!”
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