.

“Now we have scientific proof that Republicans are full of hot air.  Ever since Republicans took over Texas, the heat index has risen.  Don’t argue with me – it’s science,” Juanita told everybody as she marched into the salon this morning, coffee and make-up case in tow.

Triple-digit temperatures will be the norm in Texas within a few decades, and 115-degree heat won’t be surprising, according to the state climatologist.

Two unusually warm summers — in South Texas in 2009 and North Texas this year — are signs of what’s ahead, he said. A recent Texas A&M University news release said the heat could bring water shortages, more severe droughts, crop failures and more difficulty controlling air pollution. Farmers will need to irrigate more.

“Every time Rick Perry opens his mouth, a crop of corn withers.  I hope he’s happy,” she snorts.

“So, maybe JR Labbe owes the Gov an apology after she walloped him upside the head for his ignorant and arrogant behavior last week in front of editorial boards from across the state.”

Gov. Rick Perry managed to embarrass himself, his host and his state in front of a room full of editorial writers from across the country who were in Dallas last month for the National Conference of Editorial Writers’ annual meeting.

On second thought, I take that back. I don’t think there’s much that embarrasses Perry.

The governor’s handlers have known for more than a year that an invitation to address the editorial writers included a Q&A session. Convention Chair Keven Ann Willey of The Dallas Morning News, which hosted the four-day conference, has the signed event contract saying as much.

How do I know? The Star-Telegram was a convention sponsor, and I served on the planning committee.

But two days before the Sept. 23 luncheon speech — a date and time that Perry’s staff selected — the guv’s peeps informed Willey he wouldn’t be taking questions. The reason? No time. Other commitments. Gotta run. So sorry.

“JR, consider this,” Juanita continued, “at the rate Perry’s going with this hot air business, he’d have singed eyebrows by answering questions.”

“And JR, if you’re wondering why Perry skipped the print media and went into the hallway to talk to the teevee cameras, it’s because he’s prettier than he is smart.”