.

“So some woman ups and decides to sue Republican Tea Party congressional candidate Tom Ganley for sexual assault,” Juanita begins this Saturday morning as she gets everybody ready for the last weekend of the county fair.  Curlers are flying and the whole place is misty with Aqua Net.  It takes a lot of Aqua Net to be county fair-ready.

“Now, this same woman, who is a Republican herownself,  didn’t ever go to the police about it, but she did tell some friends.  Now that he’s got a chance of being a congressvarmint, she decides to time to talk.  She, of course, wants money and Ole Tom has a pile of it.  She’s no different than any other Republican.  Screw justice – just give me some damn money.”

“But the part that really got to me is that she complained to him in a letter about the incident that he is ‘is no different than the Democrats.’  Yeah, she said that,” Juanita is amazed.

Tom Ganley, Used Car Dealer and Republican

“No, Babydoll, Democrats do the whole mutual adult hoochy koochy thing.  We don’t do the kinky stuff so much.  That’s the Republicans.”

“Nope.  Here’s the deal,” she has figured out.  “He was acting just like a Republican when he assaulted her.  She was acting just like a Republican when she didn’t go to the police but just sued him.”

“Now, I ain’t saying that she doesn’t have the right to some of his money,” Juanita continues, “but you’d think she’d want justice first.  That’s what you’d think.  And, you’d think wrong.”

“Nope, that’s just how Republicans act.”