Rick Perry’s Stock Just Went Up

December 10, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, y’all, I take it all back.

Rich Perry’s stock just went up.

Lookie who else is running.

Rick Santorum is running for President. Again.

In fact, so many people were assuming the former PA Senator and 2012 runner-up would give it another shot that Santorum didn’t even really declare, giving the impression that his campaign never really stopped.

Hey, wait!  That was Rick Perry’s plan!

You can’t do that.  Two crazy Rick’s running for president with the same damn campaign plans.  How the hell will Sarah Palin tell them apart?

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Rick Perry’s Stock Just Went Up”


  1. This time when the candidates appear on the Fox News debate forum, I’d like to suggest they differentiate themselves and their policies right from the start. One of them could dress as a construction worker, another a police officer, and Rick Perry as the cowboy:

    The Village Idiot People

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  2. Marcia in CO says:

    Well, too, one would dress up in his gay cowboy gear and the other would be in his gay pastel suit looking like the Easter bunny. I think it would be easy to distinguish who is who.

    Two pRick’s would be two pRick’s too damned many!!

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  3. @ Rick: As the joke goes: “these men are depriving na number of villiages of their very own idiots.”

    “Out of their depth in a mud puddle” also comes to mind…

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  4. Marge Wood says:

    Rick doesn’t wear a pink tie and he has smart glasses.

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  5. Marge Wood says:

    I meant Perry. That one.

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  6. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Two men too st00pid to play with Loopy Louie’s asparagus.

    Hey Piyush, how’s that plan coming along for Republicans to stop being the party of stupid? Adding “must be a criminal or criminally insane” as a requirement isn’t helping.

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  7. Santorum is the one who isn’t currently under indictment.

    I think.

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  8. Sarah P doesn’t need to tell them apart. She’s still hoping that she gets crowned front-runner without having to do any of the work. Front-runners don’t have to know the difference between all the would’ve-beens.

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  9. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Star, $arah Palin isn’t interested in the nomination nor running for office; she is grifting for campaign contributions.

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  10. Mathmatically, this is where they would cancel each other out. Even in physica, they would crash and burn cuz two things cannot occupy the same space at the same time and boyoboy they are Thing 1 and Thing 2!

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  11. Rick P’s stock didn’t really go up, Rick Frothy just devalued the currency.

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  12. Polite Kool Marxist,

    I think for the most part, Sarah wants money and power. But, recently she’s made statements like:
    – I think it is okay to have someone who is not currently in office or having followed the traditional path for presidency and
    – wanting two women as the primary contenders for prez.

    She may not be meaning herself, but she’s still talking like she would take it if “the people really wanted me….”

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  13. They (neither Rick) think they will ever be elected.

    Neither Rick thinks he will be elected.

    What they know for sure is that people will send a boat load of money their way. It is what it is.

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  14. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Star, you have a definite gift; not just anyone can read the $arah salad.

    And, yes, she be talking. if “the people really wanted me….” Translation, send money, I’ll get back to you on the 12th of never.

    You also nailed the power component of $arah. She wants to be relevant to the extent that she flies first class to endorse candidates, dribble a few word of rotten coleslaw for some cold hard cash. Serve or work in office, not so much.

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  15. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Miemaw on track to follow the money!

    “What they know for sure is that people will send a boat load of money their way.” That is what they hope. But Alfredo can follow the cash better than a bloodhound on a scent. Per Alfredo’s last round of numbers, Perry has less cash than hope, or the equivalent of zero.

    The other Rick needs cash too. His Hollywood debut for Jeebus crashed faster than Kirk Cameron’s solid for Santa.

    Grifters be desperate, since Shelly Adelson announced he’s grinching the losers.

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  16. Marcia in CO says:

    On a positive note:

    Michelle “Crazy Eyes” Bachmann gave her farewell speech today!! Woohoo!! The Crazy Witch is gone!!!

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  17. Aggieland Liz says:

    @ montag ftw – very clever!! 😀
    @ miemaw – you just boiled my husband’s 10 min rant about money and politics (see also, $arah P and the Koch bros) into 3 sentences. Very succinct, and much easier on my ears, too!

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  18. Glen Maxey says:

    The Republican Presidential Primary in Texas will be a doozy.
    Ricky Perry… disgraced Texan.
    Rand Paul…former Texan.
    Rick Frothy Santorum…new Dallas Texas resident.
    Ted Carnival Cruz…Texas crazy.
    And really crazy Ben Carson may now have some Texas connection.

    If Texas Republicans are looking for a “Favorite Son” they might instead look for a Favorite “crazy Uncle” or “Ugly stepchild”.

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  19. pRick, even with his smart glasses, strikes me as a doofus.

    Rand Paul reminds me of that cousin that no one talks about, and then you find out he’s been living in a “room” in Granny’s basement since he turned 13. And from talking to him 10 seconds you know he just aint right.

    Rick Santorum. Doesnt “Santorum” have something to do with toilet paper??

    Canadian Cuban Ted is just that, Confused. Isnt he Canadian? Or is he Cuban. I cant recall.

    Ben Carson. He’s very tall isnt he? Steady hands. Wonder if he’s related to Johnny Carson?

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  20. It seems to me that all the components of the Rethug clown car think that being President of the US of A is rather a lark. You can sit around thinking big thoughts all day and get the best seat in the house for every cool event that comes along.

    They don’t seem to realize what a time suck pardoning turkeys actually is. That’s because none of them have the brains Dog gave a turkey. My proof: read the Senate Report on Torture (and if I have to hear those weasel words “Enhanced Interrogation Techniques” again, I’m gonna kill somebody).

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  21. Barb, that Senate report is being trashed as part of a trend in things very badly done, along with the lack of indictments in Ferguson and New York City and the Rolling Stone article. As for pRick Perry, Joe Scarborough, the steam roller on Morning Joe, swears he likes Perry. But then he should inasmuch as he is Perry’s evil twin.

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  22. Lorraine in Spring says:

    The worst part is The Late Show with David Letterman & The Colbert Report won’t be around for all this fun.

    OTOH, the best part is Steven Colbert will be hosting The Late Show by then.

    The Comedy Gods continue to smile on us during our time of suffering.

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  23. The clown car’s getting crowded.

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