Keeping Montana Safe From Floozy State Representatives
The State of Montana has found it necessary to issue a dress code for members of the legislature.
No, seriously. It’s like high school.
You have to wonder how the female members of the Montana Lege were dressed when this Call of the Modesty Police was issued.
For women, “a suit or dress slacks, skirt, jacket, and dress blouse or suit-like dress” are appropriate. However, “flip-flops, tennis shoes, and open-toed sandals” are not allowed.
Additionally women are warned to be “sensitive to skirt lengths and necklines.”
I do not know what being sensitive to hemlines is.
I don’t. Does that mean you have to cry when your hemline is longer than all the other girls?
And, they have flip flops in Montana? How do their feet not freeze? I mean, there’s frozen tundra in Montana.
Now, in case you were wondering … yes, the document was prepared by the incoming Republican male house speaker. You know, the guys who think a “nanny state” is bad and believe in personal responsibility. Yeah, those guys.
The House minority whip, Jenny Eck, speaks …
Eck said the dress code singles out women for admonishment if they’re not sensitive to skirt lengths and necklines.
“That phrase is right out of the 19th century as far as I’m concerned,” Eck said. “Women can be trusted to get up in the morning and dress appropriately. How would it be enforced? Would the sergeant of arms be the clothes police checking our skirt lengths and cleavage? “
Hey, at least they revised it from burkas.
Thanks to Deb for the heads up.
Is there a policy for men? Can the men wear flip-flops with their suits?
1You s’pose the hemline and neckline thing is about women not using their clothing as a means of distracting all the male legislators from paying attention to what’s actually going on? I betcha it would work. I know some folks who don’t know where to look when some other folks enter the room. They discover the cobwebs on the ceiling, probably.
2Of course balloons would probably work too. It lets you know right off what interests the Montana Speaker.
3They can do like the teachers did in my high school way back when: The girls had to kneel on the floor. If the hem of the skirt didn’t touch the floor the girl was sent home to change. I don’t remember any rules about necklines, so I guess in the 60s knees were more distracting than boobs!
4Kneel on the floor to check skirt length as you enter the chambers and then surreptitiously roll up your waistband on the way to your seat. That’s just what we did back in my all-girl parochial high school back in the 60’s!
5Of coarse this is not a part of the rePUKEian non-war on women.
6Its good to know that the xtian men are just as sensitive as the IsLame men. We would hate to have the males go into an uncontrolled urge to rape the women. You know how their hormones surge at the sight of a knee.
What did they have to say about bustles?
7When us old ladies were in high school, nobody would have been allowed to wear those super duper low necklines to school.
8What about some of those lean chiseled men in tight trousers? Are women supposed to be immune from distraction or the urge to rip off the guys’ clothes and ravish them there on the House floor?
No, please don’t show me what they actually look like. Please.
9The women should just wear bright teal, yellow, pink, green suits, with the slit (so distracting!) on the side or a tulip front…sneak peaks are actually more sexy….full out bare you get used to quickly (naturist types know that).
10Controlling the women…what a bunch of hypocrites. Make those rules for all aides–in fact, make aides and other support staff need to have institutional knowledge, say 20 years worth that you start earning toward as runners when you are young (in a drab uniform) up to a pool of certified people that you can choose from for your staff. Again in “staff” uniforms. That should cut back on the men’s distractions so they can get work done. Only wives that work along with husbands are exempt from drabness. It’s obvious that the male mind cannot be trusted around female bodies. We may need to eliminate male representatives, so the tending of the needs of people (the common good) could be done by the nurturing hormone estrogen, as opposed to testosterone, which “f***s and kills, according to philosopher Ken Wilbur. Just sayin’.
Montana? At first look, thought that might be Michele Fiore of the NV State Assembly.
If old men in Montana are still wearing tacky bolo ties and ratty cowboy boots with a suit, they might want to stay out of the fashion debate.
11The guys in the House and Senate tried to get the female legislators to not wear open-toed shoes. Such shoes were considered unprofessional. Yeah. Like the behavior of the old white guys who are so damn professional they constantly misbehave in any number of ways just to get out of doing same genuine work. That open toe shoe vs closed shoe sure didn’t make Bachmann a professional, except maybe a professional nut case.
12I volunteered in a prison for men for years, where open-toed shoes on female visitors are verboten. We wondered if this rule was because of all the sex-starved foot fetishists who are driven wild by female toe tips and toe cleavage. We were told it was actually so that we wouldn’t trip if we had to run, like in the event of a riot. In the Montana lege, I’d bet it’s more about foot fetishists.
13To be fair, the dress code is pretty standard boilerplate for business formal attire. Heck, when I first started at American National Bank in the mid-90’s I was that “zany computer guy” because I had a mustache! Facial hair was frowned upon, and, like today’s Montana rules, jacket and tie were required for everyone.
That having been said, and although the men in the Montana legislature are also being kept to slightly-less-patronizing standards, the whole thing reeks of patronizing, phallocratic, anal-retentive jackassery!
You think just because you wear a suit we won’t think you’re crooks?
Clean hands, dirty soul.
14Male legislators ought not wear cowboy hats and boots so as not to keep scaring sheep.
Lady pols oughta pass a bill to check the guys pants for grease stains and wool.
15It would make just as much sense to declare that all members of either sex wear plaid flannel shirts, jodhpurs, and snow shoes. Small government Republicans in action. Thhpt.
16LaUghing. Well, that’s different, guys in tight pants….
17Taking PKM’s timely advice, as a male of a certain age, I will not participate in the fashion debate, aside from a statement of appreciation of the appearance a certain co-ed, circa 1972, dressed in brown mini-skirt and breathtakingly tight brown sweater.
18Micr, you are reminiscing about Mrs. Micr when she was the gorgeous cheerleader you fell in love with and woman you love today. Mrs. PKM was both a cheerleader and an athlete, so I appreciate your good taste.
Lucky us, Micr! Loved by exceptional women with the brilliance to choose us.
Dubya was a cheerleader, too, so before you gals bash Micr and I, ask yourselves, would you marry Dubya. Exactly. That we find our wives stunning is an added bonus; that we know them to be absolutely beautiful and brainy inside is the reason we went hook, line and sinker for the “c” word – commitment.
Word to the men in the Montana lege: worry about your home life and get your orbs off your colleagues.
19or women, “a suit or dress slacks, skirt, jacket, and dress blouse or suit-like dress” are appropriate. All at the same time.please otherwise we might consent you to legitimate rape and it will be all your fault,icky women.
20Just castrate the males and they won’t need to worry about what their colleagues are wearing.
21Men: All men will wear a suit, complete with tie. Suits must be made of American wool, by an American company and worn with a long-sleeved shirt of American cotton. The appropriate colors are navy, gray, or–deer/elk season–Harris tweed. Shirts may be white, cream, pale gray or pale blue only. Slacks must be appropriate in size for the man inside them–neither too tight nor too loose. No lining of the pants may show at any time. Fat bottomed men must wear longer suit coats and may not take off their coat in the chamber; coat must cover the “strained” part of the back seam when the individual leans over. The use of ED drugs during the legislative session is forbidden, and men must wear appropriate undergarments to prevent any indication that they have active “junk.”
Men’s socks must be made of 100% American wool, black, hand-knit by the man in them, as certified by his wife, if any. If unmarried, the man must present a certificate from the woman who saw him knitting socks in public. No bare ankles at any time. Men’s jewelry is limited to: 1 wedding ring, 1 graduation ring (from high school or college in state or military academy.) Men may not wear bracelets or necklaces, even if made of 24 k gold chain. Men may not wear any ear adornments. If wearing a watch, it must be American-made and have a watch-band of American-sourced leather, black or brown. It cannot be snakeskin or alligator or any exotic–good plain cowhide is appropriate. Men must wear an appropriate hat at all times when outside the building and the three allowed styles are black homburg, gray fedora, and tweed ratcatcher. Men may not scratch their “junk” at any time in the chamber. Men may not loosen their tie at any time in the chamber unless under the immediate care of EMS. Ties must be plain blue, gray, or taupe. Black may be worn only within 60 days of the death of a spouse or child.
Demeanor: Men may not cuss at any time in the chamber. Men may not interrupt lady members at any time in the chamber, talk with one another while a lady member has the floor, or make faces at lady members. Men must not shout, scream, stamp the floor, pound on their desks, throw objects. Men may not touch lady members for any reason: no bumping into them, blocking their way, hugging, kissing, fondling, and this includes during photo sessions. Failure to observe correct demeanor will result in minimum of immediate expulsion for 24 hours, during which the guilty party will hand-write an apology to every member of the house.
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