Praise The Lord and Pass the Ammunition

November 16, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

The Woodlands,Texas, is just north of Houston and is one of the more conservative Bible-thumping areas of the state.

They just elected a new legislator by the name of Mark Keough who is the senior pastor of Woodlands Bible Church.  He has decided to deliver his legislative plans and updates from the pulpit.

No, I am not kidding.

The bills range from offering statewide victim-offender mediation for punishments to reduce recidivism, eliminating gun-free zones, such as schools and churches, as well as shutting down “sanctuary cities,” referring to municipalities that do not use local funds to enforce federal immigration laws.

So pretty much your standard God ‘N Guns kind of preacher/legislator.

But the fun is yet to come …

544875fd6ba47.imageKeough, 61, said that ultimately winning the House District 15 seat is the most exciting time of his life. He called it a “divine appointment,” and criticized local high-profile churches for being silent on important social and political issues.

“We do believe that, as an extension of The Woodlands Bible Church, that this is almost as if it was a ministry as well,” Keough said. “I approached it from that perspective. It sounds crazy, because you ask, ‘where is the separation of church and state?’ You tell me. Where is separation of church and state? It’s not there.

I wonder who is proudest?  God or Thomas Jefferson.

I’m looking forward to the Woodlands Bible Church’s filling at the Texas Ethics Commission.

Thanks to Frank for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Praise The Lord and Pass the Ammunition”


  1. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    OK, Mark the mark, let’s get biblical and split that baby: “eliminating gun-free zones, such as schools and churches”

    You keep your guns out of our state schools, and you can blast a cannon from your altar for all I care.

    And, to anyone else wanting to arm a school district, I say: “no, but you first, if you want to arm your place of employment.” Should be no problem with RBG open carrying to work; she just a little bit of a gal. Right John Roberts?

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  2. I live in the woodlands and have to suffer these teabaggers. The methodist head honcho, robb, was re-elelcted to woodlands governing ‘troika’ – mammon, religion and guns. I attended another mini-mega church until the pastor started telling his people indirectly to vote for romney basically on the abortion issue where Planned Parenthood needed to be closed down.
    Something about serving 2 masters do I recall?
    IMO, it will take a ground swell movement to overcome these right-wing controllers to put a tax on these “churches” wherein they can politicize all they want. Any other ideas of how to get the irs to enforce present laws on this supposed separation or to go for a higher law like an Constitutional Amendment?

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  3. Hi Juanita:
    I’m dum dee dum however is this legal, discussing and professing politics from the pulpit?

    COMPLETELY unsure as I’m an Arizona native.

    NeeC

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  4. The phrase “separation of church and state” is not in the First Amendment, but it is a good summary of what it says about religion.

    The phrase “states’ rights” is also not in the Constitution. And I believe that the word “Trinity” is not in the Bible. So if the good reverend wants to play this game, then I’m ready.

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  5. The very first person on record to call for separation of Church and State is recorded in Matthew 22:20-22.

    20 And he saith unto them, Whose is this image and superscription?

    21 They say unto him, Caesar’s. Then saith he unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s; and unto God the things that are God’s.

    22 When they had heard these words, they marvelled, and left him, and went their way.

    How can they call themselves Christians when they refuse to follow his teachings?

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  6. Edward, clearly you’ve got it all wrong. Being a good Texas baptist means following the parts of the bible that suit you and ignoring the inconvenient ones. Like, for example, the part that says to “put on the full armor of god,” which includes truth, righteousness, readiness, faith, salvation, and the word of god, “that comes from the gospel of peace.” (Check Ephesians 6 for all that.) Nothing there about guns, only “the sword of the spirit.” But that don’t make no sense to good bibull-belt baptists.

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  7. They don’t even bother to hide it anymore. He thinks the House of Representatives is a ministry? I hope he comes up against a Unitarian while in Washington and tries to bring him or her to Jesus. He may find out his bible-thumpenage is not the only thing goin’ in this wide world.

    Even his picture looks stupid.

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  8. And they just never believe they can be sued! That’s what gets me.

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  9. At my former church, the priest started quoting Sarah Palin. I never went back.

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  10. Marcia in CO says:

    And all I can say to this is: Jesus

    Put whatever emphasis you wish on the word … it is said more in disbelief then anything!!

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  11. Ralph Wiggam says:

    I am accustomed to people who say God agrees with them, but I get really REALLY scared when people say God appointed them. That never ends well.

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  12. So the preacher wants guns in his church and everywhere else in the country.

    Another so-called “Christian” needs to read what Jesus said.

    Matthew 21:52. “Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place; for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword.” (Similar in John 18:11.)

    van59, I wish I knew how to get the IRS to enforce the regs against the political preachers, who sometimes get right up in their faces with impunity. But some of my donations to environmental groups etc. are not tax-dedictible because the groups try to influence legislation.

    Thoreau said he did not see why the teacher should be taxed to support the preacher and not vice versa. I absolutely agree.

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  13. Marge Wood says:

    Don’t blame God.

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  14. Marge Wood says:

    And besides I don’t want guns hardly anywhere, certainly not in schools and churches, or in grocery stores, nor in the Texas Legislature. If you take the AUSTIN AMERICAN STATESMAN, you saw the article today, a pretty big one, about how folks who work at or hang out at shooting galleries are getting deathly ill from lead from bullets.

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  15. I’ve tried twice to write this. I had a train wreck. This is nitwittery of the highest order

    In his day, The Great TJ had to write to a herd of Baptists to tell them how the establishment clause was really meant to work.
    “Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between Man & his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, & not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should “make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof”, thus building a wall of separation between Church & State.”

    Apparently President Obama needs to send a similar note to
    Woodlands Bible Church and its pastor.

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  16. Willkommen Sie auf der Neuen Amerikkkanischen Theokratie und das Vierte Reich.

    (You might think I’m kidding, you’d be wrong.)

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  17. @Sandridge,
    Ich für meinen Teil, begrüßen unsere neuen Insekten herren

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  18. Micr: I for one do NOT welcome our new insect overlords. And your remark in context is a bit of a slur on insects.

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  19. Micr #17–
    If only the Democrats could get that cupboard stocked with the Raid and Black Flag open in a timely manner this infestation could be controlled.

    I agree with Rhea, as bad as our SoTX bugs are, those Kochroaches, moscabaggers, Republizancudos, and fundyticks are worse (and we gots hordes of insects down here, day and night, and I’m always finding some new kind I’ve never noticed before).

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  20. Mary in San Antonio says:

    And these were probably some of the same idiots trying to conflate “Souls to the Polls” with telling people who to vote for. Bah!

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  21. e platypus onion says:

    Micr and Sandridge-all I can say is -you do and you’ll clean it up,buster!

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  22. Ralph Wiggam says:

    Marge Wood, I agree with you that God should not get the blame.

    These things are clearly the works of men, men who think they are God.

    And who am I to say that they are not.

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  23. A couple of things…(a) Why do these guys never have a hair out of place? How much Aqua Net is required for that look?

    (b) What is a “Bible Church”?

    And, I think I have the answer to (b). It’s a non-denominational “on shore” tax haven.

    I totally agree with everybody. This isn’t God’s fault.

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  24. Surely if this guy’s punitive and judgmental God existed then He would have smote this guy by now. Not much “Love They Neighbor” going on in this guy’s church.

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  25. @Rhea
    Sorry. I meant to conjure an image of mentally tiny, irritating Teahadists not slur members of the arthropod phylum.

    terco como una mosca

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  26. Lorraine in Spring says:

    Geez. I leave the country for just one stinkin’ week on a beach and I return to a theocracy?

    Tax the churches!

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  27. IRS, go get them pastor politicians and tax the living daylights out of ’em.

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  28. The only people in our church who tell someone else how to vote are parishioners and if they do it around one of the priests, they’d gently but firmly told not to–that this is a place to love one’s neighbor, not annoy her.

    As a downtown church in Austin, we have the full range of political opinions, though we lean more liberal than the same denomination farther out. Doing a lot of relief work among the homeless, sheltering women & children (because the homeless shelter has more room for men) on nights when it freezes, feeding people, etc. (But the suburban parish I’m actually a member of also shelters homeless on cold nights and rebuilt what had been a teen meeting place to include showers and washers for homeless to use. Every parish I’ve been in has had a solid amount of charity work for its size.) It’s annoying when the loud-mouth haters in the mega-churches are taken as the measure of all Christians. OTOH, we were told to expect it, so…chins up, we get on with it.

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  29. Robin Frazier says:

    Has anyone compiled a list of preachers in office? I am reading about too many.

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  30. Marge Wood says:

    Nothing wrong with preachers in office. Only time it’s bad is when they get confused about their own personal beliefs and what the city/state/nation has to do. Lots of good preachers have been in office. Preaching and ranting at the Legislature aren’t that different, just like talking to third graders and to legislators is about the same.

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  31. Marge Wood says:

    Yep, Theokratie indeed. I’ve been ranting about that for years. Most folks still don’t know that Cruz was “anointed” by his papa to rule one of the seven hills or mountains or mesas or wherever the money is going to flow from the nations. I don’t want the money from the nations to flow to Cruz, or to the bank where his wife is a high up.

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