Holy Crap: Jesus is Back
I guess my favorite Jesus Showing Up story is in Wild Peach, Texas, where Jesus appeared on the laundry room floor.
But, mostly Jesus shows up on food.
I have never had the honor of meeting The Food Jesus.
Okay, okay, maybe I have and just don’t know it because I have never seen a photo of Jesus. So there’s that.
Up in Michigan, the St. Andre Bessette Church Festival was bless with Jesus on a pierogi. Chairman of the festival, Robert Hellar, tells the story ….
“I was in the taco booth making taco’s, and they came up to me and said ‘Jesus love polish food more than Mexican food’ and I asked why,” Heller said.
That’s when he saw the pierogi.
“I was shocked. I looked at it, and you can definitely see the face of Jesus,” Heller said.
That is shocking. Really shocking. They have tacos in Michigan?
I don’t want to rain on anybody’s parade but I think it looks like the love child of Charles Manson and Frank Zappa.
The church is currently keeping it in the freezer. Which, to me, seems like a mean thing to do to Jesus.
Well, of course Jesus loves Mexican food more than Polish food! Forget about the “Last Supper.” The “Next Supper” will be fish tacos. As an added bonus, Jesus will turn water into Shiner Bock beer.
It’s a safe bet that the “Next Supper” will not be held in Midland.
1Looks more like Charles Manson hastily sketched on the mouth side of someone’s upper dentures.
2My favorite is dog butt Jesus. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azsAfoQejVI
3Ditto on Manson.
4You can make your own miracle with the Jesus Toaster. http://www.burntimpressions.com/jesus-toasters.php#.VBr5whZuXZg
5I thought the whole point of Christianity was to see Christ in other people, not toast, pierogies, dog butts or floor stains.
6All these Jesus sighting in things and creatures seems as if they’re designed to distract from having to try the whole “Love thy neighbor thing.” Rwnj’s seem particularly prone to this crap.
Rasputin?
7He looks like an actor from a 70’s porno flick.
8Yeah, my first thought was that it looks like Manson and that was before I read the rest of JJ’s remarks.
9I must be a bad Christian because all I see here is a burned piece of dough, and the only mystery, to my mind, is how any Polish cook could ever burn pierogi. I mean, those little pasta pillows are positively sacred.
10@Iron Celt
I think you’re on to something. Burning a Pierogi is obviously the work of the Devil.
11They might as well keep it in the freezer because it’s too burnt to be worth eating.
I see the Flying Spaghetti Monster lots of times but I don’t get the publicity.
12After years of living in Michigan, I know this guy. He’s a lumberjack who popped up now and then in the northeast area of the Michigan thumb where there are actually a clutch of art galleries. I think he would be embarrassed though to be mis-identified as Jesus. Which is probably why he insists on living in the deep woods cutting trees.
13Frankly I think it looks more like that big hairy guy on Duck Dynasty, the one that likes guns, the church elder with the big family, the one about who I am not going to make any comments. Don’t blame Jesus. I don’t think it was His idea. Just not HIs style.
14Actually, that’s the senior yearbook photo of my cousin, Jesus Hachecristo. That was the same year he thought he saw the REAL Jesus at the bottom of a bottle of tequila, so he crawled in after him. He crawled back out through a bottle of wild peach schnapps, and that’s how we found him: on the floor of a stranger’s laundry room, in his undies, having tried to wash his spew-stained clothes face down in a dried puddle of same.
“That’s gonna leave a mark,” I said. And it did.
The lady of the house, whose name was Veronica, was quite kind once she saw the miraculous image of Jesus’ face on her laundry room floor. She agreed not to press charges, if we agreed to not tell how that face got on that floor. But we had to buy her a new washer.
Sorry to have caused such a ruckus, now.
15How about all the tortillas with Jesus on them?
16Love the never ending saga, “Tales of Jesus Hachecristo”.
17OK Beauty Salon/JJ’er’s, I’m going to fess up. It’s a small world indeed.
I can appreciate the satire, but take it easy.
My family once attended that very same parish. I attended it’s parochial/Catholic school for twelve years, and graduated high school there (eons ago).
It was known as St. Francis Xavier Parish for over 150 years, until a year or two ago, when the diocese did some parish consolidations and it was renamed St. Andre Bessette Parish.
It was a largely French-Canadian area (Ecorse, MI) from its beginnings, with a rich history; and it has gradually become majority Hispanic (IIRC) in the last couple decades, AFAIK (haven’t been there in ages).
The SFX Parish Fair used to be the occassion for a very different culinary fare than pierogis or tacos.
18Namely, muskrat! Yes, we ate muskrats! Little beaver-like swamp rats! Yum, yum. (muskrats are actually closer to beaver size than rat size) A Muskrat Dinner, try some.
It was a local cultural thang, don’t know if they still serve it.
Trust me, it’s an acquired taste, and the, errrrm, unique smell of many muskrats cooking permeated the school and neighborhood for a day or two, yum.
On second thought, it looks like John Oates, of Hall and Oates. Maybe someone ate Hall.
19Doesn’t anyone see Mickey/Minnie Mouse on top?
20Maybe it’s Salvador Dali.
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