The Coffee is On

September 15, 2010 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

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Juanita and I deeply appreciate what the Republicans did yesterday.  We both like to take vacations in the Fall and knowing that we leave you in the capable hands of the Republican Entertainment Industry makes us feel less guilty.

“It appears that Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin have sold the GOP an expensive assortment of factory seconds,” Juanita says, wiping sleep from her eyes from staying up all night thanking God for the manna he was bestowed upon Democrats.  “The Teahadists won it all last night.  Honey, I’d rather test bulletproof vests than be a Republican this morning.”

“Look, we’ve gone from Virginia is for Lovers to Delaware being the Don’t Even Touch Yourself state in one simple election cycle,” Juanita grins.  “I mean, what else do they have in store for us?  If that doesn’t get you up in the morning to check the news, then you’ve got a slip in your differential.  Watching them play basketball in a mine field is gonna be such fun!”

“And watching them witch-slap each other is like recess in heaven!”

The Republican nominee for the Delaware Senate seat fired back at Karl Rove today for what she called “un-factual” accusations about her record.

“Everything that he is saying is un-factual. And it’s a shame because he is the same so-called political guru that predicted I wasn’t going to win. And we won and we won big,” Christine O’Donnell told me this morning. “So I think, again, he is eating some humble pie and he is just trying to restore his reputation.”

“Oh Lord, now they’re making up words!  Un-factual.  Very cool word.  Beats the heck outta lie, fib, or eat poop and die.  I mean, Hon, there are saloons in Texas where knife fights start over things like, ‘Thelma, you are being unfactual about your relationship with Billy Bob.'”

“And don’t forget this startling revelation,” she continues.

Despite her decisive win – the Republican Party has said that it will not spend any money to help her Senate bid, Jon Karl reported this morning.

O’Donnell called that “a shame.”

“Republicans found another excuse not to part with their money?  You mean, Scrooge McDuck can count another day?  How …. uh, typical.”

Juanita is whistling this morning.  I haven’t seen her this happy since Elvis died.

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