I live in Texas, but my biggest fear is that my obituary might say this:

I mean, just the thought of that keeps me up at night.  First, when I die, I want to be real sick, real old, or doing something worth dying for.  I would prefer for my butt to stay out of the equation.  Second of all, if my butt gets so big that it’s a clear target from half a mile away, just shoot me from the front anyway.  Be polite about it.

The story goes like this:

The homeowner was struck by a bullet in his behind. Sedgwick County Officers said it came from across a farm field behind his backyard. Five men ages 18-20 were shooting several rounds from the other side of the field. They were aiming at a dead stump with no back stop.

His injuries are not serious.  His embarrassment, however, is.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.