The Texas Republican Platform

June 18, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Wouldn’t you know it, dammit.  The day that I am busier than a jackrabbit chasing four different coyotes, the Texas Republican Party finally decides to release their platform,

If any of you guys have time, read it and underline to good parts for us.  Well, I guess that wouldn’t work.  Cut and paste the good parts here, or if it’s too long, just tell us what it says.

And for me, please send any parts that will negatively impact disabled people because I’m drafting that plank on the Democratic platform.

Here ya go!  Return of the Bizarre People.

 

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0 Comments to “The Texas Republican Platform”


  1. Marge Wood says:

    My favorite was the incandescent lightbulb–not a huge issue but a good indicator just like certain plants let you know a pasture has been way overgrazed. Also can you put a plank into the Dem. platform about strategies to turn the Kbros back the other way?

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  2. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Juanita Jean the first “hit” the Americans with Disabilities Act could come from this clause: “Rights versus Products- We oppose calling welfare and other income and product redistribution schemes “rights” or “entitlements”. We
    know that fundamental human rights are inherent to individuals, and are granted by God and are protected by the Declaration of Independence and United States Constitution. They are not products of others’ labor. Unalienable rights such as life, liberty, pursuit of happiness, property rights, free speech, religious freedom, self-defense, etc. do not impose on others’ rights, whereas income and product redistribution invariably do.” page 13 Right versus Products

    Yep, sure do see the GOP saving pennies on the backs of injured workers, pensions and assistance programs for the challenged or disabled.

    Page 17 “assisting Families to Self Sufficiency” is loaded with potential for draconian cost saving measures. The whole platform has embedded bombs to take aim at anything the GOP considers as “income redistribution.” Can hear them yelling,”get out of those wheel chairs you lazy moochers, crawl and earn a living.”

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  3. In pieces: Here’s the Preamble (Dear God, they thought they had to have a preamble) and Principles, with my comments interpolated.

    PREAMBLE
    We STILL hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. (OK sofar) Throughout the world, people dare to dream of freedom and opportunity. (Though they may define these differently than the Republicans–e.g. “freedom from American domination or invasion.”) The Republican Party of Texas unequivocally defends that dream. (No, you strive to defend your money.) We strive to preserve the freedom given to us by God, implemented by our Founding Fathers, and embodied in the Constitution. (Again, no you don’t. See following.) We recognize that the traditional family is the strength of our nation. (OK, right there you are stepping on the freedom and opportunity of citizens.) It is our solemn duty to protect life and develop responsible citizens. (A clue: you need to show that you actually do protect life–not just fetuses but all life–and that you can and have developed responsible citizens. From the evidence, not so much.) We understand that our economic success depends upon free market principles. (You misunderstand economics.) If we fail to maintain our sovereignty, we risk losing the freedom to live these ideals. (OK, yes, if the nation loses its sovereignty, the freedom to pursue any ideals will be reduced. One point.)

    PRINCIPLES
    We, the 2014 Republican Party of Texas, believe in this platform and expect our elected leaders to uphold these truths through acknowledgement and action. (Hint: belief is for things that can’t be proved. “Agree on” would have been a better and more accurate choice of words.) We believe in:

    1. Strict adherence to the original intent of the Declaration of Independence and United States and Texas Constitutions.

    (Then presumably you think the Second Amendment right applies only to well-regulated militias, not to individuals, and you realize that the preamble to the Constitution’s wording of “promote the general welfare” covers a lot of things you regularly claim are unConstitutional. Right?)

    2. The sanctity of human life, created in the image of God, which should be protected from fertilization to natural death.

    (In other words, you intend to impose your religious beliefs on those who have different ones, in direct conflict with your expressed belief that liberty is a God-given right. Also, you just said you don’t believe in war or capital punishment. Bet you didn’t see THAT coming.)

    3. Preserving American and Texas sovereignty and freedom.

    (Can’t have both: either the United States is sovereign, or Texas is. And if you think Texas should be, then I remind you that wars kill people, including children and pregnant women, and would be against your principle 2. Civil wars are especially messy.)

    4. Limiting government power to those items enumerated in the United States and Texas Constitutions.

    (The Texas Constitution is a laughingstock of constitutions, just in case you didn’t know. But beyond that, the United States Constitution did not anticipate everything that’s happened in over 200 years of technological development. If you really think nothing should be regulated that wasn’t mentioned back then, by all mean go drive in a place with no traffic rules, and fly where air traffic is unregulated.)

    5. Personal accountability and responsibility.

    (Dear God in Heaven, this is hilarious. YOU believe in personal accountability and responsibility? You, the party of George W. Bush and his lying crew of accomplices who sold the world the snake oil that Iraq was allied with Al Qaida and had weapons of mass destruction? You, the party that repeatedly puts up candidates who are found to have lied like rugs? Whose Congresscritters, right now, are blaming the President for problems they themselves created? Let me make it simple: Those words do not mean what you think they mean.)

    6. Self-sufficient families, founded on the traditional marriage of a natural man and a natural woman.

    (Back to principle 5. You, the GOP, have set in place policies that have destroyed the ability of families to be self-sufficient. Your vision of pioneer families living in splendid isolation…is a myth. Grow the hell up.)

    7. Having an educated population, with parents having the freedom of choice for the education of their children.

    (Impossible. Either you have an educated population, by insisting that all children attend schools that teach reality, or you have a half-assed educated to uneducated population whose parents got to decide what they wanted the kids to learn, and whose own education was so limited and biased that they could not make an educated choice in that regard.)

    8.Americans having the right to be safe in their homes, on their streets, and in their communities; and the unalienable right to defend themselves.

    (The right to defend oneself is not inalienable, and should be, as it is, restricted by law to those times when the person is actually under attack. Too many of you feel attacked when someone is the wrong color, the wrong religion, or simply disagrees with you. And by the way–if you’re restricting yourself to what’s actually in the
    Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, there is no “right to be safe in their homes, on their streets, and in their communities.” If there were, it would apply to everyone, not just to you.)

    9. A free enterprise society unencumbered by government interference or subsidies.

    (There’s not one damn thing about “a free enterprise society” in the Declaration of Independence or the
    Constitution of the United States. You’re talking anarchy, boys and girls.)

    10. Honoring all of those that serve and protect our freedom.

    (The hell you do. If you believed that, you’d have elected Congresscritters and Senators who voted FOR funding for the VA, for jobs for vets, etc. Republicans have been solidly and stubbornly against them. Moreover, you are the ones supporting uncontrolled guns…and whose minions chased and threatened a combat veteran who disagreed with Open Carry Texas’ demonstrations. You don’t give a rat’s hiney for those who have served and protected our freedom unless they’re Republicans, and this sorry attitude started back during ‘Nam, when you started disrespecting every Democrat veteran who ran for office and sliming them with your lies.)

    11. And we believe in “The laws of nature and nature’s God” as our Founding Fathers believed.

    (You fail American history. Not all the Founding Fathers believed in those carefully un-enumerated laws, except the ones that were obvious, and Nature’s, like physics and chemistry and biology. You certainly don’t believe, or follow, the laws of God that start with loving your neighbor, feeding the hungry, housing the homeless, clothing the naked, welcoming strangers, caring for the sick and those in prison…)

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  4. Rubymay says:

    Elizabeth, you are indeed my new hero, and I thank you most sincerely for your amazing, truthful, and well-written response. I was, for no particular reason, having a REALLY cranky day. You have no idea how much better I feel now, and I can’t adequately express my appreciation.

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  5. Yea for Elizabeth!

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  6. e platypus onion says:

    Principle 6 is very clear. No plastic surgery and no Viagra. Oops,that’s gonna hurt.

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  7. OldMayfly says:

    I love these comments.

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  8. maryelle says:

    As worthless as the piece of paper it’s not written on. Pompous, arrogant hypocrites.
    I’d like to hear all of Elizabeth’s insightful comments repeated on the air everyday until the election.

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  9. The platform calls for a ban on red light cameras, yet they are in use in Balcones Heights, and probably other places. The Rethugs would like to pass a bill banning them and be true to their platform, but their efforts are thwarted by the Democratic juggernaut in the Texas House, the ironclad lock the Dems have on the Texas Senate and the veto threats of Texas Governor John Courage. No hypocrisy here, as usual.

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  10. SomedayGirl says:

    Go, Elizabeth, go!

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  11. The Texas Republican Party tacks together a platform with baler twine and used bubblegum, and Elizabeth the building inspector nails ’em:

    This Platform Condemned Due to Safety Violations
    Enter at Your Own Risk
    Danger of Falling & Failing Objects

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  12. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Medal of Valor Award to Elizabeth for slogging through the heaped pile of redundant stinking word salad. My head was ready to explode at page one, but managed to skim to page 20, only half her distance.

    Who’d of believed it, Rick? A plank of toothpicks, “baler twine and used bubblegum” combined with rotting vegetables pressed into a particle board. The GOPee has gone vegetarian.

    All the money those Kochroaches receive and the handy tools of ALEC to do their writing, and that was the best they could do?

    Juanita Jean, I’m not ignoring what you need in the way of help. After a serious dose of eye bleach, will give it another shot at wading through the scatology. But typical GOPee, they utilize indirect threat, so it will be difficult to nail their jello shots directed at Americans with Disabilities. Weasel mouths have taken shots at all the social contracts, but written in their fashion of ‘oh no, that’s not what we meant,’ when confronted. But will trooper on to find a “bumper sticker” to smack down the st00pid.

    Perhaps combining elements of PL94-142 (least restrictive environment) with the ADA http://www.ada.gov/ Basically saying ignore the GOPee and go positive with your message.

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  13. Marge Wood says:

    Standing on a table and cheering, Elizabeth. Y’all, where can we post her speech permanently and refer to it regularly till November? Does Facebook have a self-refresher gizmo for keeping text available? I know. I am serious. Write it on a big piece of 4×8 and post it in your front yard unless you have cranky neighbors in which case, put it in their front yard. Or have it printed on a long T shirt and wear it a lot. Elizabeth, may we use your stuff legally as long as we don’t charge money for it?

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  14. Is it something about being named Elizabeth (like this one and Warren) that makes them brilliant?

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  15. Marcia in CO says:

    Elizabeth [Moon] is a much published fiction writer and, thus, has a better then average grasp of the English lingo and written word!! I even checked on-line to see if Ms. Elizabeth is featured in my local library and, sure enough, she is there!

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  16. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    djw, women are brilliant, which is one of their more attractive features, if you want to survive beyond the first morning after coffee with them. “A rose is a rose,” and all of the ladies, be they named Jane, Susan, Elizabeth, Maggie, Miemaw, Marge, Elise, the important thing is their last name not link them to any of the war criminal Bush, Cheney, and too many to mention clans.

    With all due apologies to the many brilliant women named Margaret, we have the exception to the rule, Margaret Thatcher, the “milk snatcher.”

    But as a guy, as to the above average, I trust women in politics more then men, as a rule. Better yet, let’s elect men and women who will work for the planet and a decent social contract. 21st Century, time to bury gender, race religion and any politics not based on sound reason.

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  17. BarbinDC says:

    Kudos, high fives, and pats on the back to Elizabeth for her Herculean work!

    djw: Sorry to burst your “Elizabeth” balloon but, I have a sister who lives in Houston named Elizabeth; and, if I had to guess, she votes Republican (assuming that she bothers to vote at all). In other words, a bastion of Liberality she is not.

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  18. Elise Von Holten says:

    Thank you Elizabeth! My two thumbs get way to tired to even think of that much typing!
    And on that note–I am (hot, tired and cranky–can’t afford air conditioning and that planet can’t either) I am reminded of the scene in the first “Raiders of the Lost Ark” movie–where the fancy scary blue warrior had his sword and the actor who was supposed to do a dancing around big fight was sick, so instead he just Pulled out his gun and shot the scary guy….I am not one for violence–saw way too much in my life, but I’m cranky enough to figuratively just “shoot” the GOP–and be done with the folderol –anyone have any ideas? We talk too much, think too much, are too considerate…I took to long leaving my brutal ex, he wanted to kill me and I kept trying to understand…so I’m getting that backed into a corner and they ARE crazy feeling….just saying…we need to be meaner and crazier and I don’t know how…

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  19. Remember that scene in the famous sci fi movie of the chimps roistering around, jabbering and throwing all sorts of things in the air? Well, they could have done a helluva better job than the TXGOP any day!

    Go, Elizabeth!

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  20. @Marge Wood #13 — On Facebook, if you publish a post as a “Note” rather than a “Status” update, the Note will stay on the page indefinitely and it will be permanently available in the “Notes” section apart from the fleeting updates.

    BTW — I am happy to be back online regularly after two months of managing a serious personal crisis. I have missed this blog, but I am now reading it each day again. Thanks, JJ and all!

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  21. It is the Voting Rights Act and not the Voters rights Act. The idiots should at least correctly identify the law that they want to abolish

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  22. gabberflasted says:

    I didn’t bother to read any of that exercise in wordsmithing.
    Every dadgummed word could be boiled down to one sentence: We will continue to push for every piece of crap legislation foisted upon us.

    ELIZABETH, please accept my thanks for your efforts; I did read those.

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  23. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    TX GOP is either antebellum st00pid or pRick Eery corrupt.

    The TX GOPee platform should be raised to the top level of the tallest building in TX, with the idiots standing on their mash of word salad, then dropped. Snow Blind Snookie (AZ-fool), formerly of Alaska should be invited to cut the ribbon holding the fools and their platform. #OperationDummyDrop

    On the positive note, Wendy Davis is moving forward and has another five months to move her message forward.

    Bumper sticker moment: “Wendy for Texas, Abbott for himself and Kochroaches.”

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  24. Unfortunately I read the whole thing. I found myself infuriated like everybody else, then it just became hilariously funny to me. This document would make a great movie. As sad as it is, even sadder/crazier are the people who thought up all that “shi+).

    Will someone please explain to me what “American English” is? They insist on having everything in American English which is really funny since they can’t diagram the Second Amendment, which is only once sentence.

    Several paragraphs contradicted the content within…..while they were in the process of writing it down. Now, that’s funny!

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