Oh East Texas, I Love Yew
Okay, so I know you’ve been wondering what kind of people elect Louie Gohmert.
LUFKIN, Texas (AP) — A domestic disturbance call at an East Texas home includes a police report that a woman used a dead catfish to smack her sister-in-law in the face.
Officers were summoned after a woman allegedly used a fish to slap her sister-in-law in the face, the brother and sister argued and he asked his sibling to leave. Shurley says the sister called police to report being assaulted.
And she did not even know the catfish was loaded? She was cleaning her catfish and it went off accidentally?
I know one of my rules of life is don’t hack-off a woman holding a catfish.
Open Carry Catfish
Well . . . she could have picked up Catfish Hunter and slapped her sister in law with him. Yeah. I know. Catfish is way bigger than the kind with fins, but that woman sounds crazy enough to do just that.
1There’s actually a word that means “to hit with a fish.” It’s “cornobble.” But I didn’t think it ever actually happened.
2When Catfish are banned, only the criminals will have catfish.
3And now, the Fish Slapping Dance:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9SSOWORzw4
4@ Chipster #4- I knew eventually someone would come up with that. However, I’d wager neither of those women have the IQ of Cleese or any other member of the Python troupe and I don’t recall any of the Piscean species that figured in the dance being a catfish of any variety. Still funny though maybe as good as the Ministry of Silly Walks.
5With three poisonous spines,catfish can cause grave injuries to the assaulted party or even the assaulter. Not to mention their mouths are like a wood rasp. Stick a finger in its mouth and you will have skin in the game. OTOH-most catfish have higher IQs than your typical Gohmert.So there’s that.
6as an added bonus-catfish meat is Gohmert-like,flaky and white.
7Glad it wasn’t a live fish. That would be cruel. To the fish.
8Catfish in the face. No wonder I avoided east Texas.
9Which one was the “good guy with the catfish?”
And…… which one was……….. whatever???
10To follow up the Monty Python theme, there’s a crosswalk in Norway with a “Silly Walks” sign, and people are taking advantage:
http://youtu.be/By95MlAGTjE
And here’s the original Ministry of Silly Walks sketch:
http://youtu.be/IqhlQfXUk7w
11Walk softly and carry a big fish???
12On a scale of 1-10, how dangerous are catfish? None. They don’t have scales.
13Out of a sense of homage I will now do my world famous yuppie impersonation. Just watch!
14I’m going to take the contrarian view on this one. Assuming the catfish club was in a kitchen, the attacker could also have grabbed a knife, which would have had much more disastrous results.
I’m not saying she made a conscious decision to pick the correct weapon to assault her sister-in-law, but however she came to her decision it was the right choice. That is, for those times you find you just have to slap a crazy woman in your house with something.
15One of my favorite movies…
16http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vnyo5T32LKk
It’s a cat, uh no, it’s a catfish fight.
17What would life be without Monte Python?
18I have to admit that fish slapping is on my list of least favorite things, under Republicans of course. Sure would like to see Mr. Gohmert be the recipient though.
maryelle, so many deserving targets, too few fish. But as Loopy Louie likes to feel special, maybe an exception can be made for him. Cheney received a heart, even though he didn’t have a trade-in in his cavity, it’s only fair Loopy Louie should also jump the waiting list for a fish slap.
Picture this, the tampon bearing women scared the holy gohmerts out of the TX GOP. Imagine what a few thousand women bearing fish would do to their fragile masculinity.
Feeling another bumper sticker: fish slap the stupid out of the GOP
19Those links from Norway are so funny I sent them to a whole wad of friends.
20I accept the penance we East Texans must pay for electing “Goober” Gohmert as our U S Representative. God, it is hard.
21This being East Texas the strangest part of the story is that it was a catfish and not a gun.
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