Okay, Tom, You Want a Poop Fight, You Got a Poop Fight

May 08, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Tom DeLay lives within spitting distance of me, an opportunity I take advantage of as often as I can.

delaycigarSo Ole Tom, whose felony charge is currently under review and not dismissed like he’s telling people, isn’t getting a lot of calls from people who seek his advice.  And he’s run so many scams and ripoffs since he left Congress that local waiters ask for their tip upfront.

So, he’s latched on to Cliven Bundy.  DeLay says that Cliven Bundy is standing up for the rule of law.

“He doesn’t owe the federal government anything because he doesn’t recognize that the federal government can come take his livelihood away from him and he’s standing up for the rule of law, the real law, the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, and fighting against what is happening to him,” DeLay said.

I want to say something here.  The land that Cliven Bundy is illegally using is my land.  It belongs to me and it belongs to you.  You can’t go claim the Grand Canyon as your own just because it’s a national park and you don’t recognize the federal government.  You may also not recognize the sun, but it’s still gonna shine on you.

So, let’s say I decide not to recognize state property laws because I don’t recognize Texas as long as Governor Duh is there.  If Tom says it’s okay for Cliven to take my land, then it must be okay for me to take Tom’s land.  Right?

delays

Actual picture of Cowboy Tom and The Mrs.

So, I’ll be commencing to grazing my donkey, who is appropriately named Donkey Oatie (say it fast out loud) on the lawn of Tom’s swankienda in Sweetwater.  And since Tom is currently a convicted felon and cannot legally carry a firearm in Texas, I guess I can defend myself with a slingshot and a can of Aqua Net Hair Spray.

And if the grazing goes over as well as I suspect, Tom could make some money dancin’ on his front lawn … with the stars.

Thanks to Don A. for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Okay, Tom, You Want a Poop Fight, You Got a Poop Fight”


  1. Marion (formerly known as MM) says:

    I can’t wait for the update. Do not graze two donkeys. You don’t want him to be able to claim a ranch exemption on his property taxes.

    (I adore donkeys. Do you really have one?)

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  2. Mark Schlemmer says:

    As many creepy Texas Republicans as I have been introduced to in this column, I still think DeLay is the King of Nasty – Would Sell His Mom Down the River – Felony Creep man that I’ve ever read of. He just exudes smarm and self-righteousness. That he wants to now ride the Cliven Bundy Mobile to further himself is
    so utterly predictable. He will probably have a book out soon
    hoping to right the terrible inaccuracies in the Hitler story.
    THAT is the kind of man he is.

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  3. Edward Starsmith says:

    You might also consider charging him for landscaping services. Keeping the grass trimmed and providing fertilizer is a valuable service that you should be compensated for.

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  4. SteveTheReturned says:

    Even by Texas Republican standards, Tom DeLay is a genuine piece of filth. Crooked and scheming to the point of hilarity; makes me wonder how he’s going to end up. I hope there’s something to that Karma thing as far as DeLay is concerned.

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  5. Is that a mask he’s wearing or is that really his face? It just looks so plastic. The super black hair doesn’t help either. Fake face, fake hair, fake man.

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  6. Miemaw says:

    I knew there was a “word” to describe what Ole Tom is advocating:

    Sure ‘Nuff:

    an·ar·chy
    ˈanərkē/Submit
    noun
    a state of disorder due to absence or nonrecognition of authority.
    “he must ensure public order in a country threatened with anarchy”
    synonyms: lawlessness, nihilism, mobocracy, revolution, insurrection, disorder, chaos, mayhem, tumult, turmoil More
    antonyms: government, order
    absence of government and absolute freedom of the individual, regarded as a political ideal.

    Ah yes…… Good Ole Tom..DeLay…jumping on the Cliven Bundy Merry Go ‘Round …… when even most Republicans (those that have any sense at all)……have jumped off.

    His elevator just doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.

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  7. Ralph Wiggam says:

    That gave me an idea. There is some really nice land over in East Texas called the Davey Crockett National forest. It belongs to the Federal Government, but it is basically just a large tree farm for Georgia Pacific and some other “forest products” companies.

    So I was wondering if I can pull the Bundy trick in East Texas, but instead of harvesting grass with a bovine I can harvest trees with a chainsaw. When I start stealing trees from Georgia Pacific do you think ol’ Tom will change his tune?

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  8. publius bolonius says:

    Rest assured, there’s some angle to this for the Creeper (apologies to Rondo Hatton fans)

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  9. Time for a cattle drive. Old Tom can join Cliven to round up his cattle and head into Utah with the rest of the racist FLDS clans. Nevada would thank you, Tom.

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  10. Teh Gerg says:

    Meh. Not just fake, but stupidly fake.

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  11. Fenway Fran says:

    Ah, Tom DeLay. There is no pesticide to eradicate that bug. My favorite Tom DeLay related memory is of copiloting Ben and Jerry’s Spanky with pilot Marsha through the streets of Sugar Land, including right down the middle of Sweetwater (it was too big to go down Tom’s own street though, Palm Royale had to suffice). What a day that was, and we lived to tell about it.

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  12. Wa Skeptic says:

    I’ve seen more sincere smiles on folks in caskets.

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  13. Wa Skeptic says:

    Looks like these folks have visited an undertaker before having this photo take.

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  14. Who can understand Republicans?

    On one hand, they despise the Federal Government. Fair enough.

    On the other hand, they love Hot Tub Tom, even though at one point during his slimy reign as Majority Whip, he’s quoted as saying ” I am the Federal Government”. http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104×4937404

    Ergo, Republicans should despise Tom DeLay, right?

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  15. Fred Farklestone says:

    Question:
    Can Delay legally vote?

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  16. I don’t know about Y’all, but I’ve had enough of Cliven Bundy and his thugs. Plain and simple….it’s time to put a stop to this. If it’s another Waco….. it is what it is…. but this crap has to stop. If it doesn’t, I have lost all respect for the President I voted for twice, and his Attorney General.

    The LAW IS NOT SELECTIVELY ENFORCED. THE LAW IS THE LAW. IT APPLIES TO EVERYBODY, OR IT APPLIES TO NOBODY.

    (yes…. I’m yelling. I am so furious….. I’m yelling).

    http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/05/08/hooded-gunmen-threaten-federal-worker-on-utahs-i-15-after-cliven-bundy-incites-militia/

    ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

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  17. Marge Wood says:

    Sweetwater? Tom DeLay has a house in beautiful Sweetwater, west Tayuksis, pop. about 12,000? or is that a housing development in Sugar Land? I love the idea of your putting a donkey out to graze his lawn and think you should send him a bill for services rendered. Or maybe a goat. But donkeys are better at keeping away the coyotes.

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  18. Marge Wood says:

    re: cutting firewood in land owned by Georgia Pacific, you might want to hire a lawyer or two before doing that since GP is totally privately owned corporation of the Koch brothers.

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  19. In a just and sane world Tom DeLay would not and could not exist. Sadly, we do not live in that world.

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  20. maggie says:

    OMG, Tom! Somebody is going to mistake your for a public school graduate! Just keep your mouth shut and let everyone keep guessing.

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  21. Wa Skeptic says:

    Miemaw–it won’t be long before this fiasco is finished. I saw a recent post (can’t remember where) with the “militia” plaintively calling for replacements because they’re tired of sleeping on the ground, their wives are VERY angry, and they’re losing their jobs.

    Let’s just hope there’s no bloodshed before it’s over.

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  22. Ralph Wiggam says:

    Marge Wood, The land is National Forest. It’s owned by us but GP buys the trees grown there just like ranchers buy the grass grown on public lands in Nevada. If the Bundy principle holds, the Kochs won’t have to pay for the trees, but they can’t claim any rights either. Of course that won’t happen.

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  23. Didn’t Tom delay, hisownself, pass some of those laws that aren’t in the Declaration of Independence? Maybe we could start by ignoring the tax cuts for the wealthy that he helped push through Congress and just send all the billionaires a bill for back taxes.

    By the way, Bill Clinton said today, ” Even killing Goldman Sachs CEO wouldn’t satisfy “blood lust”

    I can’t help but think, “Yeah, but it would be a good start.”

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  24. Marge Wood says:

    The Bundy Principle. You think that will show up in history books of the future?

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  25. Corinne Sabo says:

    Would Ole Tom be happy if I decided I didn’t recognize the right of his to his house (deed is government document) and moved in ad kicked him out? Of course, I would have to have it fumigated…..

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  26. Since the Kochroach politicians claim water boarding isn’t torture, let’s water board them, until they pay their taxes, relinquish their hidden assets and in the case of Tom, tell the truth. When we’re done, we can fly them over Camp David and air drop them as skeet targets.

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  27. Marge Wood says:

    Very tempting.

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  28. Right wingers don’t seem to know the difference between free speech and inciting violence or sedition.

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  29. Jill Ann says:

    Ole Tom’s house is in an upscale subdivision named Sweetwater, which is in the city of Sugar Land, which is a suburb of Houston. He does keep quite a low profile around here, fortunately.

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  30. Marge Wood says:

    Lucy! I had a little Aunt Lucy. Nice name. Don’t you think that maybe some of all flavors are particularly good at inciting violence and sedition?

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  31. Marge Wood says:

    re: self defense, an 8 foot steel T post is good for self defense too, btw, esp. against skunks.

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  32. Kay Carrasco says:

    So what you’re sayin’ is… he’s *always* had a really bad dye job? *schnort*

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  33. Zyxomma says:

    publius bolonius: Apology accepted.

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