Tucker Carlson’s Childhood Fantasies.
Oh y’all, this is a tad nauseating so I hope you didn’t just eat.
Tucker Carlson says every little boy’s dream is to have hoochy koochy with his teacher. Speaking of a recent ace where a teacher performed a lap dance for a 15 year old boy, Tucker said she should not be punished. Apparently, perversion is a desirable trait in Tucker’s women.
Oh yeah, Tucker Carlson.
The women are upset and the man understands, and here’s the bottom line: A 15-year-old boy is not a 15-year-old girl, and so – I got a lot of mail about this – every man understands this,” Carlson said. “A 15-year-old boy looks at this as, like, the greatest thing that ever happened, and I think for a 15-year-old girl it would be traumatic. That’s just real.
After all, if a woman is not a seductress, then what is her worth? Tucker, that judge of all things female, could not help himself.
Carlson said the teacher, in his estimation, was hot “enough,”…
Let me be the first to suggest that any woman willing to do the dirty with Tucker would be, in his estimation, hot “enough.”
Now I do understand that Tucker’s biscuits ain’t golden brown and his elevator doesn’t get to the top floor, but I think he should keep his sexual fantasies to himself. I think he makes his wife dress up like a school marm and whip him every night. Or maybe makes him write “Tucker is a bad, bad boy” on the backboard 100 times.
Don’t those guys know that we’re giggling at them?
He needs to go back to bow ties, it displays his doofusness better.
1Giggling, hell—I’m laughing out loud at Tucker Boy, as I have for a number of years, now. He’s the very embodiment of the smug, entitled, talent-free little right-wing snot that is encountered way too often in the conservative movement these days (and yes, I’m talking to you, Jonah Goldberg).
2Once again, stoopid is the gift that just keeps on giving.
3No offense,but Carlson would have creamed his jeans if Raygun would have said boo to him. I oft wonder whether Tucker’s stick floats in a different direction.
4I turned 15 the year Star Wars came out. In a sense, I’ve been 15 ever since. So letting my 15-year-old persona speak for a bit: Oh, man, that Millenium Falcon was so COOL! I think I’ll ride my bike back over to the theater and see that movie again. Then I will come home, pretend to do my homework while instead watching TV turned real low, then I will listen to WLS radio – maybe they will play some STYX, I love Styx, or the EAGLES! – then get out my secret stash of Penthouse, Oui and Cheri that I stole from the newsstand in the Oak Park “El” station and…
As a 15-year-old boy, would I have LOVED it if a growed-up woman got completely naked with me? Hell YEAH! I still love it. LOTS! Lots and lots!!!
But as a grown up, I recognize that the ability of a 15-year-old boy to tell right from wrong is a tad… skewed, shall we say?
So yeah, Tucker, I get what you say, but we’re not talking about 15-year-old boys. We’re talking about grown up female teachers, who even if they don’t KNOW better, have been continually warned by their districts to NOT TOUCH THE CHILDREN.
Now, remember, kids: disco sux. The teacher shouldn’t.
I’mmmm SAY-LING uhWayyyyyyy, setanopencourse, for the Virgin Seeeeeeeeeea.
5Far too many 15 year old, old men–hence, the blue pill is covered by insurance –still hoping for the hot teacher. Sigh.
6My grandmother used to say that the only problem with being a grandfather was that you were hooked up with a grandmother. Then she looked over at my father, giggled, and said, “You got around that though, son!” ( he final wife is younger than I am) so my view of males may be skewed…but the family values party doesn’t seem to have any.
How did you get a photo without a bow tie?
7Chipster, ‘zactly. Does he really not grasp that whether the kind liked it or not is beside the point?
8Kid. Not kind. Sorry.
9So Tucker favors pedophilia…but just for boys. Here’s another one who needs to be gagged and bound and thrown down a well.
10Good grief.
11He is just as goofy – without the bow tie.
12Tucker Carlson has the kind of face that you just naturally want to punch. Repeatedly.
13O Man! I remember how embarrassed he was when he was on that dancing show and since he couldn’t dance even if you stuck a gun in his ear, a half naked female danced circles around him and all he could do was that stupid grin. He’s just another reason why thugican males need to keep their mouths hermetically sealed.
14DaChipster,if you stay up late at night you can listen to Uncle Larry Lujack and His “Animal Stories” on WLS back when. Uncle Larry was a staple for onion’s late night catfishing in my beloved Little Sioux River. Memories-late at night with the catfish….etc.
15He was a child? I thought he was hatched as an adult.
16Tucker has a wife? A real wife, or the inflatable kind?
17I can picture Tucker and Rick Santorum both adorned in argyle sweater vests, clutching the TV remote with sweaty hands and shawls over their laps, while flipping through the adult entertainment channels. Not for personal pleasure, of course, but to confirm their believe that the American family is doomed and to revel in their mutual disgust.
18Tony, that RWNJ has a wife. Same kind of woman who would consider marrying Rmoney or any repuke (even Mitch McConnell has a wife.) No shame in their game. That their husbands cannot earn an honest living is not a problem, as long as there is a nanny for the children.
That’s part of their marriage vows: “no nanny for the children, no sex.”
The Ka-Ching Kardashian sisters are pikers compared to RWNJ grifter women.
Trust me on this one brother. Had one of those cold trophy heifers make a run at me in college. Had to deploy my escape hatch. Taking a RWNJ home to my Mama was as effective as sending her to The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.
19@Wally – Tucker has stopped wearing bow ties because, seriously, people weren’t taking him seriously when he did. He ain’t no George Will, except for the stupid part.
20Catfish gonna be ok, Uncle Lare?
21Catfish is just fine, little Tommy.
Monty, my wife is generous with points for my not punching those who richly deserve it in the face. But as you say “Tucker Carlson has the kind of face that you just naturally want to punch. Repeatedly.”
Dessert or give that punk a beat down. Theoretically a tough choice, unless that little weasel actually crossed my path. Plan on having my dessert, because unless it’s a bad accident, no way I’d be anywhere where that trust fund loser would be.
He lives under the bridge at Fox Noise.
22Huh. I automatically saw little *ucker Carlson wearing a bow tie in your pic, and didn’t realize my error until reading the comments. Put on your big butterfly bow tie boy, you are inextricably “tied” to it.
23Don’t make any mistakes about McTurtle’s wife there PKM, I would bet lotsa money she runs the show. And I would win, too! I’m sure his investment portfolio is MUCH better since she came along into his life. Apparently a chin is not necessary to her happiness 😛 ick…
24For a little more perspective…several judges in several cases have decreed that if an adult male school employee has sex with a girl student, it’s not his fault because “she was in control,” “she’s older than her age,” “she encouraged him.” And so he shouldn’t go to prison because it’s not his fault. (What part of statutory rape do these judges not understand? And why can’t we get rid of them?)
The concept that the adult should be in control of herself/himself, and that the underage student’s desire for sexual contact (if it exists and isn’t a figment of a Tucker Carlson-type judge’s imagination) is immaterial seems to have vanished from large segments of the population. The only difference is that if a grown man has sex with an underage girl, it’s her fault…whereas if a grown woman lapdances for an underage boy, it’s her fault but it didn’t hurt him because he wanted it.
(I notice that Tucker also failed to deal with the effect on the other kids in the classroom…but then he’s so focused on what men and boys want, that what’s legal and what’s right just can’t enter into his pea-brain.)
25I remember when Tucker Carlson was a second-stringer in NY Press (a rightwing rag that was available gratis). I used to bring it home because they ran great comic strips (my favorite was Tony Millionaire’s ‘Maakies’). The paper was owned by a real rightwing creep who called himself Mugger, and he gave jobs to likeminded creeps like Carlson. They used to brag that they forced the Village Voice to become a free paper. Awful stuff.
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