Heads Up
It’s a big time in Texas. Dan Patrick, the totally whacked guy running for Lt. Governor of Texas (read: most powerful position in Texas Government) will debate Mayor Julián Castro tonight about immigration.
It’s a 6:00 tonight Texas time and will be broadcast by Univision and the Texas Tribune.
Dan Patrick
In 2002, Patrick changed his name from Dan Goeb to the name of a far more famous broadcaster, The Official Dan Patrick. Some folks say he chose Patrick’s name only because Jethro Lardass was already taken. He’s from Maryland. He’s divorced. He just plays a tough-talking, self righteous Texan on teevee. In real life, he ain’t neither.
Julián Castro, on the other hand, is a third generation Texan who didn’t change his name because he’s comfortable in his own skin.
It’s gonna be substance against glitter tonight so if you have time to tune in, please don’t miss it.
If there’s ever a chance to feel a little sorry for Dan Patrick, this will be it. Julian will be metaphorically mincing and spitting out chunks of Dan.
Easy now Juanita Jean, I wrote ‘a little.’ Perhaps, to clarify, infinitesimal amount would be more precise. Pop the corn, this will be fun!
1This oughta be good.
I can’t decide between popcorn and M&Ms.
And a towel to cover my face when I get too embarrassed for Mr. Goeb.
2I’m quick to admit I’m fuzzy on Texas politics, but is Castro running for Lt. Governor? I thought the Democratic candidate was that nice lady who eloquently spoke out in the Texas Senate when her rights were abused?
I was hoping for good things for her.
3I don’t know about that. Julian DOES have substance – but he’s also a good looking young man, so he glitters a little too – unlike Danny, who looks like an the Pillsbury Doughboy with a bad case of the Mads.
4I read this as Julian the Mayor will simply be debating Patrick the Pathetic on immigration … not that Julian the Mayor is running for the position of Lt. Governor.
I’m in CO, so no way I can watch this “debate” … but will have to come to the Beauty Shop to read the outcome! Patrick will probably be referred to as “Mincemeat” after this thing.
5Don’t hold back, Mayor Castro. Go for total humiliation of this Goeb fella.
6I sincerely hope that Mayor Castro has his strategy down for this. He needs to get Senator Which-Name-Is-It really rattled, so that he’ll be stoopider than usual (I know, hard to believe, but I think it’s achievable). Then at just the right time, when the Senator is rattled just enough, let him talk all he wants. Let him take that walk down Stoopid RWNJ Street. If the Mayor can do this, oh happy day, we could see Sen. Patrick doing stuff like breaking into a st ring of racial epithets mixed with Bible misquotes, or claiming that immigration leads to bestiality, or ….well, I’d better stop with the examples…
7Goeb looks like the worst kind of evangelical–you know, the guy who’ll preach about abstinence and purity and have a girlfriend in the choir.
8I generally try to stay out of the comments because I always get the first say-so, but Mayor Castro isn’t running for Lt. Governor. This debate started as a Twitter challenge. Senator Leticia Van De Putte is the Democrat running against Dan Patrick.
You can watch it online at http://www.texastribune.org They will live steam it.
9For folks who want to keep score tonight, @nonsequiteuse has created some bingo cards especially for the occasion. nonsequiteuse.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/immigration-debate-dan-patrick-bingo.pdf
10“He just plays a tough-talking, self righteous Texan on teevee. In real life, he ain’t neither.” I would also bet those teeth aren’t original to him.
11If memory serves me right, the Honorable Dan Patrick had an on air vasectomy years ago. I always wonder why that is not brought up when they mention Dan’s qualifications. Julian seems as if he could chew them up and spit them out. Hope Dan wears a cup.
12I think my mayor will kick Patrick’s butt. Wish he would do it literally, but he is a better person than that.
13Tonight Will Hailer, the Executive Director of the Texas Democratic Party kept us posted through his speech on how the debate was going. We had a full dining room for the South Travis United Democrats at Brick Oven, Slaughter at Brodie, where we meet the third Tuesday of every month at supper time. We also had a chance to sign up to work the run-off elections and prolly others later. I think about a dozen folks signed up to work. We all really need to turn out to work the polls. You’ll have fun if you take food and a crossword puzzle and newspaper for the slow spells. Will Hailer is really a great speaker. Hear him if you can.
14Maybe Patrick changed his name to escape the bankruptcy he filed for a failed business.
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