Holy Crap: South Carolina Dinosaur Edition
This story starts with a bright young woman deciding that along with having an official state bird and state tree, South Carolina needed an official state fossil. Because fossils are cool.
She picked the wooly mammoth because some of the first wooly mammoth bones were discovered in South Carolina in 1725. This third grader wrote letters to her two legislators at the state house. They are both Democrats and she figured that meant they can read, whereas that is questionable among South Carolina Republicans.
Anyway, they like her idea and introduce a bill in the South Carolina House requesting that the wooly mammoth be named the official state fossil. They thought it was a dandy way to teach kids how bills get passed.
Ridgeway and Johnson both have filed bills — H.4482 and S.854 — to make the wooly mammoth, an extinct genus of hairy elephant, the official state fossil. McConnell said she faithfully is following the bills’ progress online, where both are in committee.
Oh hell no. The House passes it as is, no problem. Then the steeple people get involved and everything goes to crap.
Sen. Kevin Bryant, a pharmacist and self-described born-again Christian who has compared President Obama with Osama bin Laden, voted to sustain a veto by Governor Nikki Haley of funding for a rape crisis center, and called climate change a “hoax,” proposed amending the bill to include three verses from the Book of Genesis detailing God’s creation of the Earth and its living inhabitants—including mammoths.
Yeah, mammoths and damn snakes … like Bryant.
The official state tree is the palmetto but I looked it up and there isn’t one damn word about God creating the palmetto tree in the legislation. The state waltz is the Richardson Waltz but you do not see a stinkin’ word about God creating it in that legislation either.
Personally, I think they’re just picking on the wooly mammoth because Jesus didn’t ride one.
By the way, if South Carolina doesn’t have an official state tool, I’d like to nominate Kevin Bryant.
Thanks to Abigail for the heads up.
And on the 8th day, God saw all he had made and said “I’ve got a few parts left over to make something with, but unfortunately have used up all of the brains, even very small brains.” And God said “Let there be Senator Kevin Bryant of South Carolina.”
1Strom Thurmond is S Carolina’s official fossil,skinflint,racist,and dino farmer.
2Juanita Jean, it’s time to pay that tool a visit, The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., style.
Tweet: @kevinbryantsc
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sen-Kevin-Bryant/23820464130
SC Legislature on-line: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sen-Kevin-Bryant/23820464130
Business Phone (803) 212-6320
Cell Phone (864) 202-8394
Must remember to “thank” him for encouraging this young third grader and her interests in fossils and state govt. Good fine work Toolie Bryant with your fine Republican family values: love the fetus, hate the child. You are the Gohmert Prize of the week.
3e Platypus O wins the Internets again!
4Sen. Kevin Bryant is proof once again that there is indeed no reality test for elective office.
5Apparently there is no way to get out of this dream – err, nightmare, that is Baggerville.
6All these years I thought Strom Thurmond was their state fossil.
7Follow the light, Eykis. Everyday good people like Juanita Jean cast a light on the Kochroaches and their paid tools/politicians. Check out the blogs she visits, and the blogs those bloggers visit.
Kentucky might get lucky, thanks to “Baggerville.” If Matt Bevin bloodies Mitch in the primary, Alison Lundergan Grimes his Democratic challenger benefits, hopefully.
Kentucky has a Democratic governor, Steve Beshear, which should be to Lundergans advantage. Kentucky has health care. http://www.chfs.ky.gov/dms/aca.htm
If you are mainly concerned with South Carolina, contact Emily’s List. They may have some alternatives for you.
8Good grief. Bless that little girl’s heart. Of course she is learning the hard way about reality.
9Corinne Sabo reminds me that some years ago DC had a bunch of donkey and elephant figures around town, as other cities have had horses or cows or whatever, and they were decorated in different ways by various people. One of the elephants was decorated as a mammoth, and was called “Strom.”
I saw this SC story a few days ago. It was what finally convinced me that there are some people who might as well be Martians for all I have in common with their opinions and view of the universe, and maybe there is some real value to the whole secession idea. Let them have their own little world and stop mucking up ours.
10Jesus never rode a mammoth? Somebody in the Palmetto Bug State will come up with proof any day now. They are the most concentrated bug sucking crazy state there ever was.
11Imagine trying to use a 3rd-grader to glide past the RWNJ’s!
Bryant’s probly engaged in sex with his pastor like so many of these guys who scream, “Bible, family values.”
12I’d go to their website and suggest that they also put an addendum onto the palmetto item and say God created it too but they might take me up on it.
13Rhea-you is in luck. Wingnuts incongress recently passed a bill authorizing a NASA mission to Mars. Apparently the Tea-baggers mother ship needs US gubmint subsidies. Red planet=commie red wingnuts.
14Refine your effort and hit ’em hard, Marge Wood. SC Legislature on-line: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sen-Kevin-Bryant/23820464130
Too bad it is impossible to embarrass these gohmerts. When a third grader, albeit really smart third grader, knows more than they do, they should be ashamed. That Toolie Bryant failed to encourage a young girl with a bright future should make him feel like an all-time gohmert.
Be proud Reince, your GOP outreach to women has managed to alienate the next generation of women. BTW Grab a clue, you are really annoying a number of us men who love women.
Yo Bobby, how’s that “stop being the party of stupid” gig doing for ya?
15Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson, noted astrophysicist, might have a more enlightened description of the evolution of the wooly mammoth than Kevin Bryant, noted ass.
16Honey, those folks really really believe all that. This is not about being godly. Talking to them about how it could make money for them if they were to make it more, er, uh, ecumenical therefore just being thankful for the wooly mammoth was a wondrous thing. You think they could understand money? No? Money usually talks purty good in Texas.
17Sigh. Well, I’m going to go try to imagine where I’ve stashed a major drawing for my book. If it blows by, let me know. It’s a pen and ink drawing of a mohair goat mama with a tiny newborn kid.
Well, turns out it was a dandy way to teach kids how bills get handled. If not passed, precisely.
As for Bryan being the official state tool, I submit that he would serve equally well as the official state fossil–though woolly mammoths are a whole lot cuter.
18I have to rejoice here. THE DRAWINGS ARE FOUND! GLORY BE!!!
19Now I’m going to bed. Y’all have fun, hear? and be sure to lock the door and turn out the lights…..
KB is really over the line separating state and religion. I think he really, really wants this whole thing to go to the state Supreme Court and then on to SCOTUS in D.C. just so he can use the experience for his own political ambitions. Frankly, for an allegedly religious man, he is actually telling this third grade girl to go to **ll. Hope he gets an entire coal mine dumped in his Christmas stocking!!!
20Oh, I almost forgot! Hey, I’m old! Louisiana also has a mammoth that was discovered some years ago perfectly fossilized. However, what with getting hit by some damn many hurricanes over the years, they decided they had other things better to do than fuss of a “state fossil”.
21@Marge Wood: Congratulations! I have to hunt for song lyrics I wrote decades ago, and know how it goes. Kevin Bryant is not useful enough for state tool. I could think of other epithets, but momma would not approve.
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