Fun With Guns: Beauty Shop Edition
So People Magazine ran a contest featuring people who are beautiful at any age (Real Beauty At Any Age) and Bob Farris is plenty upset that his lovely bride did not win.
Bob is pitchin’ himself a wall eyed snot nosed hissy fit because he says his wife was rejected for posing with a firearm.
That is ridiculous. Take it from a professional – she got rejected because Perky Plum lipstick never goes with Jasmine Wine blush. You cannot mix food groups in your makeup application. That’s the first lesson they teach you at Mary Kay.
Yeah, Thelma didn’t win either. I think it may have been the size 26 leopard leotards or the fact that by the time we got her hair in the picture there wasn’t room for much else.
Thanks to Charles for the heads up.
The look on her face as she cradles her “baby”
1is shivers-down-your-spine frightening. There is nothing even remotely connected to beauty in this picture, except the tree behind her.
Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it. – Rodney Dangerfield
2Why does she have her “finger on the trigger?”
3Well, I think it’s the gun rather than the blush. Black does not go with everything. She really should give some thought to color as well as size. Perhaps a smaller caliber silver revolver. Much more ladylike.
4If the husband thinks she is beautiful, I have a bridge for sale.
5I’m not much into womens fashions but, that blouse could pass for camo in the primodial pool. And a smile wouldn’t hurt.
6If your foundation/finishing powder makes your face look like it could have been photoshopped onto your body, you might need to rethink your color selection. It isn’t a “till death do us part” kind of selection.
7“We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.”
8— H. L. Mencken
Who stole her upper lip?
9Beautiful and scary are mutually exclusive in my book. And that’s just scary.
10At least old Bob is smart enough to not say why his bride does not qualify as beautiful.
11She’s not beautiful. She looks mean. If you want to look “natural” and beautiful, it helps to also look friendly and not have your finger on the trigger.
Which is not saying women (ladies or not) can’t have firearms and shoot. I know they can. I know where mine are, for instance. but if I were hoping to be chosen for a “beautiful at any age” layout, I would not stand there glaring at the camera with a firearm in hand. I’m not a beauty anyway, but I know how to dress up and smile, which is more than this person does.
12A student of mine once told me that “beauty is in the eye of the bewildered”. I learned a lot from those kids.
13I’m sorry Thelma.
Just saying…..
14laughing.”Beauty is in the eye of the bewildered.” I think we oughta add that to our list of memorable quotes, along with “Don’t cast aspersions on my asparagus”. And I think the lady oughta comb her hair. What is with this style that looks like you paid a bunch of money to look like you just got out of bed? Shows how old I am. “Marjorie Ann, go comb your hair.”
15Seems like she’s stuck a screwdriver in a light socket a few times too many.
16I guess this is the NRA version of beauty. Tell me I’m beautiful or I’ll SHOOT you, punk!
17I know a bit about fashion, at least it’s what I tell my fashion students. LOL
18This lady is not the personification of beauty…at any age! Look at those serious dark roots. Fake blond. The scowl…beauty is as beauty does.
As to the choice of garments, the color of the dress is wrong for her. So is the pattern – a sell-out to the “feminine.” And the gathered cap sleeves are only for wimpy women (those who don’t carry guns). Something in a nice, structured, polyester/spandex would work much better. The give of the fabric would make it easier to aim accurately, as well as contribute to her chosen “look.” Also, polyester isn’t flammable as cotton is. Gotta think about safely when in a gunfight. And, Marge, you’re right, that hair. Besides the color it would get in her eyes while she’s aiming. It’s all about context, go for the total look. Remember: dress for success!
Bob Farris may claim that “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” but he has his aphorisms mixed up. In his case, it’s more like “Any port in a storm.”
19Sweetie, if you got your finger on the trigger, it means you’re prepared to shoot. You oughta be lookin’ at what you’re about to kill or maim.
And it’s an ugly gun, too.
20Looks like the little lass is pretending to breast feed and nurture her little killing machine to win sympathy from mothers out there.
21@Origuy: Excellent!
22Oh, lorded, here I go again! This “lost sheep” reminds me of something. About 5 years ago I was at a local fair in Canada. A really small local fair. When it came time to show and judge sheep and rams, only 2 contestants were on time with their entries. Both of the contestants were women and their entries were sheep. Contestants and entries looked totally spiffy. Quite suddenly there was a third entry, a guy and his sheep. The guy looked like he was just spit out of a spin dryer and the poor sheep looked totally embarrassed to be seen in his company. It seemed to everybody present that this guy jumped in to hold up the male end of society when it came to sheep showing. No woman in that competition was going to go uncontested by a real man! The judge awarded ribbons to the two women and their entries and then did a little public educating (I just love these teachable moments!). He told the guy that never in the history of the little fair has anyone ever shown up looking so bad that he made his muddy, dirt clotted, filthy entry look good and that he was never to do so again!
I thought that was a vey good day! The boyfriend’s entry into the beauty contest reminded me of that guy and his sheep in Canada. At least they weren’t in the mood to open carry. The gal in the photo is one doggone lost sheep!
23Holy Gohmerts! Photoshop has gone too far this time, with Charlton Heston in drag.
24The way Bob’s main squeeze is fondling her piece I’d guess he has more to worry about than a beauty contest rejection, more like a green-eyed monster is chewing on him.
And she looks like she’s been rode hard and put up wet a few too many times, blecchh.
No doubt they belong to the party of “Family Values”, also, too:
25http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/04/07/1290331/-Republican-family-values-caught-on-security-nbsp-camera
Wrong magazine, wrong contest, right picture. Should have been sent to Guns and Ammo for the “best looking gun” contest.
Bob still would have lost.
26Maybe she should have brushed her hair…..
27Reminds me of the wrong end of mule.
28She’s just angry cuz someone dropped a house on her sister.
29Reasonable people may disagree. He thinks she’s a great beauty. Some of the other 300-odd million of us disagree. Should be OK!
30“Real Beauty At Any Age” really doesn’t include a mouth like bear trap.
31JJ, that’s hilarious captioning!
32Thanks for the quote, Origuy! That was wonderful!
As for “Real Beauty,” I’m sure I’d much rather see a picture of Thelma.
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