April 03, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized
Okay, Salon has an interview today with Salon, Chuck Thompson makes a well reasoned and research article that the South should secede and the North should let them.
We should get a divorce.
I have only one thing to say: Â if you sumbitches leave me alone down here without giving me time to escape, I’m gonna come right upside your head with a jug of hacked-off juice.
You have been warned.
Thanks to Irene for the heads up.
Welcome to The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.
My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston. I live in Richmond, Texas, in the heart of Tom DeLay's old district. It's nuttier than squirrel poop here.
I am honored and privileged to know Miss Juanita Jean Herownself, hairdresser extraordinary and political maven. Since she does not have time to fiddle with this internet stuff, I type her website for her and you can read it if you want to. If you don't, she truly does not give a big bear's butt.
A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.
This ain't a blog. Blogs are way too trendy for me. This is a professional political organization.
Not everybody in the South holds true to the Stereotype.
1Juanita, Bubba, and Willie come to mind but having lived in Texas I can assure you there are a lot more like them in the State, I wouldn’t be so quick to give up on them.
I will admit the description of the flag does seem to ring true though.
I have a lot of friends who retired South and took their politics with them, this could be tough on them.
If it happens, You and Bubba can move in with me, but I think it is unlikely if people really think of the final outcome.
For years it has been a threat from the South that if they don’t get their way they will leave (See: Gov. Perry) but if the North says, ” and don’t let the door hit you when you go out” the threat might be a bit diffused. This is kind of like during the debates when Obama said, ” Proceed Governor” to Mitt.
I wouldn’t worry about having the right parka and winter boots just yet.
I am not worried about Canada getting the Bomb, but Mississippi? Partition has a really ugly history and religious differences tend to fuel it. President Rick Perry in a nuclear pissing contest with Putin? Wow. This entails an inevitable division of military resources. I don’t see any consideration of that in the article.
2Dearest JJ & Co.
3We would NEVER think of leaving you behind! Perish the thought!! But, not to worry. Keep doing what you are doing and Texas will be a blue state, then the Mayor of San Antonio will become the governor and finally, veep to Chelsea. (Or so I fervently hope). But you can worry about MS. The gub’nor just signed a “how to bash gay folks and get away with it” bill. Seems it’s legal if Jay-sus said to do it.
Yes! Let the South Secede. But maybe the North should file papers to get the thing rolling. Otherwise it may turn out as reported in my all time favorite Onion article:
“Yes, sir. The South will rise again, and when it does, I’ll be right up front waving the Stars and Bars,” said Dock Mullins of Decatur, GA. “But first, I gotta get my truck fixed and get that rusty old stove out of my yard.”
4http://www.theonion.com/articles/south-postpones-rising-again-for-yet-another-year,377/
I think gov numb nuts an the other successionists ought to shut up. More than likely our former friends in northern states are going to get fed up and sell us back to Mexico.
5Sounds like fun until all the grandparents in Florida lose their Medicare.
6My late husband came from a well entrenched Southern family who landed in Louisiana while it was still Spanish! They supported the creation of LSU, one of the oldest land and sea grant schools in the country. Yes, they have one big bad ass athletic department AND they have an excellent European languages program. Everyone in that family was college educated and if you promise not to tell, some of them did not go to LSU but some other school! My late mother in law was a powerhouse in her little town. Everyone knew and respected her, even when she paid the help a living wage and (horrors!) Social Security. Oddly enough, she made sure all her children had a lengthy acquaintance with living in the North! Two of them stayed, one came home and took care of her in her widowhood. Not one of them put up with the racist claptrap that still existed in the area and none of them ended up with a cross burned on the front lawn. Yes, I read Thompson’s book and he was right on about so many things. Wish he had spent some time on in-breeding! The South will never be able to secede despite the most earnest desires of some folks. Take Florida, for instance. A huge amount of its real estate is actually owned by Northerners who will be damned if they think anyone will make them let go of their acreage. Parts of Florida are totally “Northern”. The northeast corner of Aladamnbama can’t secede as it is turning into the Pentagon of the South. And I just might go south for a little visit in the next year and a half. . . who knows?
7Not to worry,I have set up an underground Railroad of sorts for Mother and her cat Jake if the need arises. Just follow the music folks…..
8Mitch
We’ll leave the light on for y’alls.
9Y’all are gittin’ all het up fer nuthing. Dontcha know Tayksis is Wayerstern, NOT Suthuhn. If somebuddy done tol’ you otherwise, jist let ’em go on and believe it.
10Now, now, ‘Nita — you know you’re never alone down here…
11😀
I have a better idea – let’s apply the Golden Rule. Most of these states take in more Federal tax money that they pay out, and they do everything they can to cut payments to the poor.
So, new rules:
1) An up-front cut to all Federal spending in that state so that what they receive is no more than what they pay in Federal taxes
2) Every cut to state spending on social programs is matched on a percentage basis to their overall budget: if a state cuts cut overall spending on social programs by 10%, the government cuts overall Federal dollars flowing into that state by an equal percentage.
Not sure it’s workable, but it’s fun – and would draw attention to the ardently Republican moocher states.
12JJ, you know you and Bubba have a place here in Independence where you can walk Truman in the footsteps of his name sake.
Oh, no! Dear God Missouri is part of the South isn’t it!?? Please don’t kick us out folks, believe me we are doing the best we can!
RepubAnnon, I like that idea!
13Might be just the nudge I need to pack up wife, kids, grandkids, and dogs and move to …. some other state. Texas has left me behnd. For gosh sakes my first campaign was for Maury Maverick with my sainted father in 1964 or so. I’m not happy with where the GOP has taken us.
14I have to say that I think secession would be a good idea, if we could do it along ideological rather than geographic lines. This was the last straw for me:
A bill that recently passed the [South Carolina] state House to designate the Columbian Mammoth as the state fossil stalled in the Senate after Republican Senator Kevin Bryant added two verses from the book of Genesis.
That amendment was ruled out of order but senators this week will debate a new amendment that says the mammoth was “created on the sixth day along with the beasts of the field,” Bryant said on Monday.
http://www.reuters.com/article/2014/03/31/us-southcarolina-fossil-idUSBREA2U1JU20140331
There are a substantial percentage of people in this country who might as well be Martians for all their mind-set and understanding of the universe have in common with mine. I wish they’d get out of my government and I’m sure they wish I’d get out of theirs.
15Hey, please just give me three more years to finish college and I’m out of here. You can sell Okrahoma right on back to Mexico with Texas.
16Well, JJ, there’s always eastern Washington state, and I believe Fenwick Fran lives just down the road a piece. The eastern side is just as red as some of Texas, but the western side always carries us to blue. You’d like it here. Welcome mat is out.
17Which is worse, bad politics or cold climate? I am a warm weather person, myself. Not that Tornado Alley (Oklahoma with more tornadoes per square mile than any other state – OK, Texas has more total but…) is ideal, but at least we don’t have winter half the year. And I hope spring is finally here. I’ll stay in this part of the country and try to get better people into office. I’m tired of people around here voting against their own best interests.
Secession was a bad idea in the 1860’s and not any better now. We’re all in this together – not just the US but the world and I wish people would realize that. What hurts one hurts all.
18Well, I’s a Yankee who luv’s the south. No one in their cottin picking mind luv’s snow, & ice & cold.. I feel like I can give a bit of advice learned up north. PA & Ohio are great in summer..but forget it in Nov.-March. I liv here & just visit youn’s cousins up ther in sumer. Need a fall dose my PBGH Stealers!! there, 2. I pay taxes here & spred my little money around. Please do’t secede or whatever. I know abt divorces…did it twice..let you’ll forget that divorce takes away sum good bedfellows. LUV ya all. Twila
19And then the first thing we’ll need to do is build us a big, tall fence. With a moat.
And alligators.
For you guys we will provide a boat.
20We have 2 extra bedrooms and a pool.
Of course, we still have snow on the ground, but it is melting. And the high today will be 45.
But it will be above freezing tonight so we know Spring will be arriving any day now.
Although we did have that year that we seemed to go from winter into summer and skipped spring…
21But it really really is better then living with republicans!
Sue dem southern sons a b####es for alienation of affection and then sue for damages. They can leave the marriage with the exact baggage they had when they lost the Civil War and then they can pay our attorney fees. (Southern SOBs does not include anyone with an IQ over 25)
22Seriously, could anyone fill in the specifics implied by “The South shall rise again…..”?
Is this a state’s rights thing? Will slavery be reinstituted, or at least segregation? Or WILL THESE BLOWHARDS FINALLY GET OVER THEMSELVES?!
Well, at least NASA is becoming irrelevant such that losing those facilities won’t hurt so much. *SOB*
23Well, the author does include Texas as part of the north. That at least prevents a Berlin-type airlift to Austin. Its a valid point as Texas is southern but mostly has its own identity. I think it’d be more realistic to let the south AND Texas divorce.
24Don’t worry, Juanita. If Texas secedes, you can damn well bet that Austin, El Paso, the Valley, and probably a few other places are not going with it. You may have to leave Fort Bend County, but you can stay in Texas.
25As part of the settlement, the South must take custody of all the northern governors who refused to expand Medicaid. No visitation,health insurance or financial support provided.
26I seethe when I get behind one of those trucks with a “Secede Now” bumper sticker. Then again, I pity the poor schmuck because he also has a “Retired United States Air Force” decal on his back window. Is he really willing to forgo his military retirement, and possibly his Social Security and Medicare? I think not. The states that secede would become economic wastelands as corporations, federal installations and both workers and retirees would depart in huge numbers. Of course, Texas could become a mini-Saudi Arabia with it’s oil. Then again, in a massive drought one can’t drink oil. No federal agriculture subsidies? The farmers and ranchers would go bankrupt in a heartbeat. Secession has been a pipe-dream for the neo-confeds since their forebears waved that final white flag in 1865.
27For better or worse we’re all in this together. 🙂
Even if I do at times question Lincolns insistence on preserving the Union.
28With their Republican state governments, are Indiana, Ohio, Wisconsin, etc. any better than the south? Then there’s West Texas, which has it all over its eastern neighbors of the south. Gotta be careful how you draw that cutting-off line!
29elOel
30You about made me tee!