Locals, Oh Locals, I Love You
I told you about a local Republican we have around here named Rick Forlano. The last time he ran for office, he got 37% of the vote which gives him the distinction of coming in third in a two man race.
So, he decided that the reason he wasn’t winning is that not enough solid Democrats were voting for him the the Republican primary. In Texas, you don’t register to vote by party. You just vote in a party’s primary and you become a member of that party. You can either vote in the Republican or the Democratic primary, but not both.
You can get lists of which primary people voted in. So, when you’re running for office in a primary, if you’re smart, you only mail to those people in your party.
First, Rick sends ole Bubba and me a vote by mail application. Those suckers ain’t cheap. They run almost $1 a piece. We got three at our house – and we are all Democrats. Then, I’ll be damned, we got this on Saturday.
Three. Count them – three. We actually got four – we got our neighbor’s by accident – and she’s also a Democrat.
Candidates who want to demonstrate that they are fiscal conservatives would mail just one per household, but they also don’t mail to people who would rather eat an RCA radio than vote in a Republican primary.
Then there’s this —
No, you cannot read the stuff written in white italics at the top. It could be a Satanic prayer for all I know.
His campaign manager must own a print shop or something, because that man just wasted $5 cash American money and all he’s getting out of it is ridicule.
I suppose it’s a waste of time to ask where the union bug is on the printed materials.
1Stinks of desperation.
2@John in Lafayette:
3I betcha ole Rick went out of his way hunting down a non-union print shop.
In our (heavily Democratic) town we tend not to elect people like that because they’re trying too hard.
4The Republican version of fiscal conservatism, gohmert style. Gohmerts do not like round number such as “$5 cash American money.” They prefer pinching pennies. If elected judge, expect this gohmert to switch the toilet paper in the courthouse from 2-ply to one ply. But plan on him wearing that robe in August, while keeping himself cool by air conditioning to the maximum. Their motto: save a penny, squander a dollar.
5Polite Keel Marxist, you have cracked the code of Republican “economics.”
6Maybe he’s trying to get Democrats to vote for him under the theory that Democrats would vote for the least-qualified Republican, thus giving the Democratic Party’s candidate a better chance of winning.
7Personally, I would prefer a larger radio. Without catsup.
8The verbiage in that mailer doesn’t specify: is he running for office?
Or ambulances?
9I betcha that sweet and hot mustard would be good on the RCA. And you could draw a mustache on the guy and use the same marker to write DON’T VOTE FOR on the little white space at the top, just in case you’re bored, and put them around under windshield wipers.
10I’m all for repubs wasting their money on useless endeavors. I would bet, though, that those campaign flyers are not only deliberately printed in a non-union print shop, but are also as non-recycleable as possible.
11Sorry to be late to the party but I’ve been darn good and sick. This Forlano thing has a real eau de pathique about it. And thats as far as my French goes at the moment.
12We received two of Mr Forlano’s mailers at the house, I am a die hard, tree hugging, be kind to the animals democrat and my partner is the same and a staunch union dude. glad to see he is throwing his money out the window.
13Nate, don’t forget to vote for Frank Briscoe for CD22! He’s a good ‘un!
14He “retired” for the Air Force as a Major? And he was a JAG officer? I’m calling bullshit.
Left the service, served in the AF, sure. Easily. But no Jag officer retires as a Major. (Unless it was for the good of the service…?) He served a couple years like many, but that’s it.
The other fun factoid: He’s one of “them” – a trial lawyer!
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