And If Anybody Knows Common Sense, It’s Ted Nugent

January 23, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I gotta break some news to you.  Steve Stockman has turned up missing.  He’s shown up gone.  It seems he’s been missing since January 9th, except for a brief siting in Egypt.  Yeah, the real Egypt.

Seriously.  Nobody knows where he is, least of all his staff.  We were going to check the Appalachian Trail but then remembered it Steve Stockman, the man obviously doesn’t do s-e-x.

Steve_Stockman_official_portraitI’d say it was the rapture and the only one taken was Steve, but in Steve’s case it’d be more likely to be an alien abduction.

So, to distract attention from this, Steve’s good buddy, Ted Nugent, and up and decided that Steve should be awarded “GOP Medal of Common Sense” from Speaker John Boehner.

Oh.  Dear.  God.  He wrote a column about it.  Well, it’s not exactly a column, it’s more like a word salad.

I wanna be honest with you.  Stockman is missing but there ain’t nobody in Texas looking for him real hard.  We’ll just put his face on a couple of milk cartons and that’ll be it.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Be social and share!

0 Comments to “And If Anybody Knows Common Sense, It’s Ted Nugent”


  1. Wyatt_Earl says:

    I’d go with word haggis instead of word salad.

    1
  2. Lorraine in Spring says:

    As soon as I heard old Steve was missing, I came here for answers.

    OK, JJ, what did you do with him? Is he restocking the supply room at the Beauty Shop? Taking scarecrow lessons to prepare for Spring? Learning English as a first language? Hiding from Bubba?

    I’m sure you’ll find out & report back to us.

    I can’t wait.

    2
  3. Hippie in the Hollar says:

    The comments on the “column” are priceless. I thought ole Ted was gonna be dead and/or gone by now. Sigh, another lying repub.

    very cold Hippie in the Hollar

    3
  4. W. C. Peterson says:

    He’s with Dick Cheney, hiding in some “undisclosed location”. Maybe they’ll go hunting together afterwards.

    4
  5. Well that’s one way, and a particularly nasty way, to spoil milk!

    5
  6. Elizabeth says:

    Couldn’t read it all (instant heartburn material) but had this thought: who better than a missing person to head the GOP, since it’s been missing its head (the upper one, anyway) for the past two decades?

    It’s a no-brainer for those with no brains.

    6
  7. Ralph Wiggam says:

    Stockman will show up in a week with a story about how Holder and Obama kidnapped him. You heard it here first!

    7
  8. fenway fran says:

    Rehab???? Psych ward???? The Bachmann clinic?

    8
  9. Wa Skeptic says:

    Has anybody checked in Toronto??

    9
  10. I see your “Rehab” and “Psych ward”. Thanks Fenway Fran.

    I raise y’all “Witness Protection Program” and “alien abduction”.

    Btw, if you’ve ever cleaned the pipe so as to replace the garbage disposal, you got a real world example of what “word salad” or “word haggis” looks like.

    10
  11. Don A in Pennsyltucky says:

    Well it COULD be a case of rapture — as long as you’re willing to concede that while He CAN do anything, it would be a real PIA to have to deal with all of those righteous righteous righteous people all at once and that staggering the rapture over a few decades or maybe even centuries wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Going back a ways other notable figures who have disappeared include Judge Crater and Jimmy Hoffa which puts ole Stevie in good company.

    11
  12. How many of us, if we went missing since January 9th, would still have jobs?

    12
  13. UmptyDump says:

    Buh … buh … buh-bye!!

    13
  14. Rick, since a GOP congressstoppage’s job seems to be to sit there and yell NO a lot, or vote for idiotic stuff that I could hardly make up on a bad day, his absence is no loss and maybe it took this long for anyone to notice.

    14
  15. Marcia in CO says:

    He may have skipped the country …

    Stockman’s problems go beyond visibility. He has reported having only about $32,000 in cash on-hand and $163,000 in debts, while Cornyn’s campaign fund is nearly $7 million.

    Hmmmmm!!!

    15
  16. It just hit me (so to speak)… He’s near the back of one of those long lines in Colorado.

    16
  17. Edward Starsmith says:

    Wait a minute.

    Stockman is missing.

    And people CARE?!?!??

    17
  18. Eww! Eww! You made me click on WND! It’ going to take a bottle of lysol to clean my keyboard and an hour of Grateful Dead to clean my brain. Don’t link to them sumbitches. here’s one from right wing watch that covers Ted’s rant. http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/nugent-put-steve-stockman-charge-gop

    18
  19. They probably ought to start checking the crack houses before he burns one down and kills folks.

    19
  20. He’s in one of those super cool hot tubs scattered outside his “campaign office” and he’s got him some Colorado weed, like micr says. If we’re lucky, his dealer will keep him supplied and throw in some chips. Might never come out.

    20
  21. No one is looking for him? Not even the bunco squad?

    21
  22. Holy hoobab! Does this not just say “Homeland” to you?

    22
  23. Jim vincent says:

    From the left coast,
    Reading about. Crazy politicians in Texas makes me feel better about SOME of the representation we have from CA!

    23
  24. Jackie Sue says:

    Stay calm; he could just be getting ready for a yard sale at campaign headquarters to get rid of excess moldy hot tubs. He could use the money.

    24
  25. Missing on how many cylinders?

    25
  26. Attila the Blond says:

    Steve was in THE Egypt? The one where that big ol police building just got blown to bits? He still grumpy ’bout that campaign headquarters of his being condemned and out to lower the bar for official building decor?

    26
  27. TexasEllen says:

    Sour milk cartons.

    27
  28. daChipster says:

    Has anybody checked under the bridges?

    28