No, Louie, I Don’t Thank You None At All
This is an honest to goodness true story. I have a friend (that’s not the breaking news part) who is currently in Washington DeeCee to see the White House at Christmas. She is a perfectly lovely lady from a distinguished local family.
She called me yesterday afternoon all ranting. Now I know for a fact this was a bucket list trip for her so I was wondering what the heck had happened.
She proceeded to tell me that the White House tour was completely over the top fabulous and then they were escorted to sit in the gallery of the United States congress. This was a big moment in her life. She had always wanted to do this.
“Guess who was speaking?” she yelled at me on the cell phone.
“I dunno. I didn’t have C-Span on,” I replied. “Maybe our congressman, Pete Olson?”
“Oh no, think even dumber than him,” she said. “The minute we sat down, I told my husband that I have to call Susan!”
“Louie Gohmert,” I guessed.
“Ding! Ding! Ding! You win!”
She then asked me how stoopid one person can be without forgetting to breath and leaving the planet better off for it.
It seems that “Señor Stoopid Gohmert” was putting on an embarrassing show. She tried to tell me about how he claimed to be a Christian and how everybody else deserved to be hated, but I figured she was just making that up because he had ruined her once in a lifetime moment.
Come to find out, she was not making that crap up.
Louie was making the argument that non-Christians and atheists should encourage people to worship God.
“So if you were completely areligious, completely atheistic, but you wanted to have a free country, and you wanted to have it safe and protected, then it would sound like — from historical purposes — that it might be a good thing to encourage those who believe in God to keep doing so,” Gohmert said. “Because when a nation’s leaders honor that God, that nation is protected. It’s only when it turns away that it falls.”
You know, like Christian Germany in WWII.
No, y’all, Louie really said that and my friend Pam heard it with her own two ears.
Thanks to everybody for the heads up.
Alternative wording: Shake it, it glows
1I am so sorry your friend was in Congress at this particular time to have the misfortune to hear Screwy Louie spewing his stupidity!
2You should follow the link and then also click on the story of Rick Sanitarium comparing what Nelson Mandela suffered through to what the piss poor Republicans are suffering through because of the ACA … oh my aching head!!
Yes, I misspelled Rick’s last name ON PURPOSE ’cause that idiot needs to be in a sanitarium!! And he should take Louie Kablewie with him!!
3Louie speaks of honoring “that god.”
I just want to know which of the thousands of gods available for worship and honor is “that” god that Crazy Louie believes is “that” god that is the right one to worship?
And why the other gods aren’t
This god worship thing is so confusing.
4History is replete with instances of religious zealotry gone wrong: The Inquisition, The Crusades, Nazi Germany,Bosnia to name a few. So Gohmert’s premise is of course fallacious and downright insulting. Not to mention the fact that his brand of Christianity is so far from Christ’s teachings as to render it unrecognizable.
5There are many “Christian” countries that have either fallen, or disappeared, or been incorporated into another one, or been split up, or been greatly reduced. Scotland for one. Prussia for another.
Or the Republic of Texas.
What a Gohmert.
6I always get the feeling the the Repubs are operating some sort of underground competition. A sort of ‘can you top this’ of stupid. Recently, there seems to have been a substantial increase in the number of contestants. Maybe why Bachmann is retiring – she could hear a thousand hoof beats gaining on her.
7We have got to manufacture & sell that Louie Gohmert Snow Globe to help turn Texas Blue!
8I can see his point. When the Greeks started backsliding in their devotion to Zeus, their empire was doomed. When The Roman Empire was infected by middle eastern religions, their honor for Jupiter waned, and they too faced destruction. I believe we need to restore the Pantheon of the ancient Greeks and Romans so that we may prosper as well and as long as they did. Right Louie?
9Hey, we’re developing a product line:
Louie Gohmert Snow Globe
Ted Cruz Nutcase Cookies
Only $19.95 each, get two fer only $35. Hurry hurry hurry.
10And Deutschland’s little friend, Mussolini’s Christian Italy. Yeah, they were Dominionists, too, but it an extraordinarily martial way. Louie, take advantage of the weather in Texas and stick your tongue to a flag pole!
11I’m agnostic and I disapprove of this message. Louie Gohmert, you are crazy. And Ralph Wiggam, this country(unlike Rome and Greece) was not built on a specific religion. Therefore, that probably won’t happen, except by another stupid war. Your evidence only seems to prove that Greek gods are real and will destroy your country if you don’t worship them. So Ralph, you better start burning your leftovers, because the gods are getting hungry.
12Louis needs to go home to Texas. Surely there is a place there where he can open up his own Dueling Banjo School of Divinity.
Listen to me, Lou, really. If there were a god as you describe him, explain to me why the children singing in front of Cantor’s office were not available to be in the gallery singing to drown out your blather? And yes, that would have been to your benefit. Believe me. (that is not blind faith, little trooper, it’s popular opinion.) Yes, little trooper, your god let you down the day you weren’t born mute.
Daily, I thank my goddesses, science and technology, for the mute button that is available, when you speak.
13This is one reason why, when I was in DC, I said I was from Texas, home of Ann Richards.
14Does this make Louie a “suckular humanist”?
15Lorraine in Spring – what a great idea. I’ll bet those Gohmert snow globes would sell like hot cakes and fund a whole slew of Dem candidates.
16e platypus onion, please work with me on this.
In any dictionary, Lulu Duh Dodo is suckular.
“suckular humanist”? Maybe. The modifier does apply. Not so sure on ‘humanist’ or even human, when Duh Loopster is in the equation.
Am thinking modifiers do apply to the crowd of crazies, but we need to be more selective as to any noun remotely close to humanist or human.
Parse and explore as we might, am thinking Gohmert is both a verb and a noun. Such as flying crap Gohmerted the House or they stepped in the Gohmert.
Holy Gohmert, it’s a challenge to keep up with their crazy. We are so behind, after Palin.
17@Polite Kool Marxist, thanks for the snicker over stepping in the gohmert. It worked on Rick Santorum when someone decided his name needed to apply to something else which I can’t possibly describe here because JJ’s momma would whale the tar out of me if I did.
Somebody might take Louie aside and inform him that, compared to the US, there are a number of countries that have better health with lower health costs, fewer teen pregnancies, lower child mortality, better literacy, MUCH better social and financial equality, and a number of other things that we’d love to have. They’re called Denmark, Sweden, Iceland, Norway, Finland, Japan, New Zealand… and they’re the least religious countries on the planet.
18Rhea, you go, girl! Add Rwanda to that list of countries with universal health care. Yeah, Rwanda! The last we heard of them some years ago was the war. Now they have universal healthcare with an emphasis on primary care. If they can do it, so can we. As for all the RWNJ’s who don’t believe a word of this about Rwanda, they can web surf and find out for themselves that a predominantly black country can and did pull itself together and in their own way actually teach us a lesson!
19@Rhea I agree. Rick Sanitorium is a proper name for him. Especially with all the stuff he says. What a load of garbage. I need to get out of this stupid state! Crazies are everywhere I turn!
20PKM- best I can come up with so far is G-as in gravitational constant for Newtonian physics law. Wingnuts tend to gravitate towards each other,OHM as in measure of resistance times infinity since wingnuts resist everything Obama and ERT-which is encoder,receiver,transmitter which uses packet radio to transmit data from wingnuts Mother ship back to wingnuts. Not sure how to classify this. Adverb,maybe? This could get interesting.
21Sorry. I meant to say wingnuts gravitate towards each other constantly. Somebody spank me,please!
22Ladies,please. Gohmert rilly is “that flaky” and doesn’t need a globe at all unless it would be to contain and suffocate him. In that case we should mandate(there is a choice word for Gay haters) globes for all wingnut dingbats all the time. You can split the royalties on the globes as you wish.
23I just happened to channel surf past CSPAN late last night, I always linger a minute or two to see what’s going on… House Judiciary Committee doing their impeachment hearing…. so I decided to watch a minute or two…. just in time to hear Gohmert, then Farenholdt, then Poe all opine. Unbelievable. We sure know how to elect really stupid nutcases in this state… and then the GOP puts them on the Judiciary Committee. Of course that committee is just chock-full of nutjobs from other states, too. WTF-GOP?
24Both Louie and Teddy Cruz were in Tyler last night receiving (I kid you not) awards for being CHAMPIONS OF FREEDOM (must be hollered with an echo, like the boxing or stock car race announcers).
25We debated going, since our weekly ‘stock up on sanity’ trip to Denton had been cancelled due to the weather, but tickets were $40 a piece unless you wanted to get the George Washington table for $5,000. It totally would’ve been worth it to heckle the crap out of these two slimeballs, but they’d still get our money, so we didn’t go.
Interesting that they required everyone to show up early for a ‘security check’. This is TEXAS- we bring guns to the Alamo and the Black-eyed Pea!
e platypus onion, good work!
G, OHM and ERT; the science will kill them.
Best of luck to the APA, when it’s time to classify and treat them. It will be a huge leap forward to the field of psychiatry.
26Miss Prissybritches, Michele “one L” Bachmann is on the house intelligence commitee. I said that with a straight face and I believe the house wingnut judiciary commitee consists of 23 all white males. They make up the rules about women’s rights on abortions,wages,workplace issues,etc.
27Holy Gohmert! Some idiot relative of Louie’s is on the road near our house driving some gohmert contraption with a plow in front. My wife is out there explaining to this gohmert accident waiting to happen that off balance camper shells piled on a truck make for really gohmert plows. Can’t wait until she warms up to the topic of pulling the snow out of the driveway he was paid to clean and shoving it into her roses bushes is a really gohmert idea. They have that conversation annually. “Remember what I told you honey, show some restraint. Not all 4 tires, just shoot out the 2 on the driver side, so that gohmert rig rolls into the ditch away from our house.”
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