Does Anyone Have a Coin? I Need to Flip a Coin.

November 15, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, your guess is going to be as good as mine.  Is this satire or not?

Using undisputed classified documents and photos, an anonymous whistleblower has revealed that thousands of women’s rest rooms in federal buildings have been fitted with cameras above and below the commodes, in a clandestine federal program to monitor potential terrorism and prevent rape.

“The leaker who illegally revealed this program will be found and prosecuted,” said House Intelligence Chair Congressman Mike Rogers. “There hasn’t been a single complaint about it, proof positive that it hasn’t invaded anyone’s privacy or harmed anyone until this leaker’s reckless actions.”

Commodes?  Leaker?  That’s just too clever to be true, right?

On the other hand … Who the hell knows?  They might have done that.

I flipped the coin and am going with satire.

All this is getting way too difficult for me.

Personally, I think satire died last night when the Mayor of Toronto discussed his dietary habits last night on the live electric television.  And the first sumbitch who tells Momma what he said is gonna get cut.   And will go straight to hell, too.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Does Anyone Have a Coin? I Need to Flip a Coin.”


  1. Dave in Austin says:

    And Larry ODonnell didn’t even bleep it on his show last nite. I about rolled off the bed after he said that and what he has in the pantry at home………

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  2. Definitely satire. The poster said so in a comment and said he felt guilty about fooling so many people. What’s a shame is that we can no longer tell for sure that something is satire because reality has gotten so outrageous.

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  3. I say satire, but only because of the commentary. If it was a real story, they could have found some woman who was really pissed off about it to comment. I’m willing to believe the cameras are there and even that someone justified their desire to watch women go to the bathroom on national security grounds.

    As for Rob Ford: Actually, there’s nothing I can say about Rob Ford that even comes close to what he says about himself.

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  4. I was for flipping a coin about satire or not until I got to the fourth paragraph. The one about Bob Filner.

    This is from the Oct. 15 New York Times: “Bob Filner, the former San Diego mayor forced out of office in a storm of sexual harassment allegations, pleaded guilty on Tuesday to a series of false imprisonment and battery charges involving three women.”

    Okie girl is right: Reality is way too weird these days to easily tell the difference.

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  5. Don A in Pennsyltucky says:

    Tom Lehrer said that satire was dead when Henry Kissinger was awarded a Nobel Peace prize.

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  6. daChipster says:

    The tags at the bottom of the story include “snark” and “satire” so I’m believing in the predictive psychic powers of Juanita’s coin flips. I can see the late-night commercials now:

    Will I find love? Will I ever have money? Will John Boehner ever grow a pair?

    Sister Juanita Jean and her magic coin have all your answers. Using an original issue 2000 Sacagawea dollar, Sister Juanita Jean will provide answers to all your burning questions.

    “Should I get a job?”
    …. The spirits say yes!
    “Should I have a baby?”
    …. The coin advises against you passing on your genetic material.
    “Will Texas turn blue?”
    …. Sacagawea says betcherass it will!

    Now, for a limited time, for each $25 consultation, Sister Juanita Jean will send you your own magic coin. Clad in gold-looking manganese brass, this Psychic Sacagawea will guide you through all of life’s dangerous dilemmas. And it’s yours FREE, plus postage and handling.

    “I flipped my magic coin, and now I found love with a man who has his own cult. Thanks, Sister Juanita Jean!”

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  7. Juanita Jean says:

    Uh, forgive me for intruding, Da Chipster, but it’s Queen Madam Swami Juanita of the House of Aphrodite.

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  8. I’d have bet satire even before reading the other brilliant commenters. I was suspicious at the characterixation of a “leaker” in a story about … commodes, restrooms, etc etc

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  9. Alacrity Fitzhughe says:

    It’s satire, the meta tags at the bottom of the article (in Blue) show SNARK and SATIRE.

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  10. I would stand corrected Queen Madam, were I not already sitting. Congrats on the promotion from “Sister.”

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  11. Lorraine in Spring says:

    Dang, we’re lucky. We got Her Highness, da Chipster and a salon full of Big Blue Fun Folks.

    Republicans lost their sense of humor a long time ago. I think Darrell Issa stole it & burned it down for the insurance money.

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  12. daChipster, you need your own column. You are too funny. You will need an illustrator, though.

    Who knows what’s satire any more? Anyone on Tom Cruz’s mailing list? You do know he’s lying about the ACA, right? Polite word: misrepresenting. Yeah.

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  13. Marcia in CO says:

    Anymore it seems satire is way too close to the truth of the matter … luckily, those who provide such satirical tidbits are recognizing that fact and are kind enough to label their morsels as such: SATIRE. Trouble is, too many folks fail to partake of the offering and eat the cake, thinking it is the truth!!
    A bit of caution Queen Madam Swami Juanita of the House of Aphrodite … do not let your swaminess go to your head or your turban may pincheth thy blonde bouffant headdress! LOL
    What a total hoot you folks are … I don’t know you but I certainly love you!!

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  14. Ooh. Sorry. TED Cruz. Ted Cruz. Oh boy.

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  15. Marge, I knew that’s who you meant. Tom Cruz has his own problems, but so far Obamacare isn’t one of them

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  16. My coin flip said satire, too, but I’ve been fooled on a couple of them lately.

    To quote Mark Twain, “Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.”

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  17. Satire??? Oh, c**p! It did really sound a bit like The Onion was back in good form!

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  18. Momma already knows the punchline, “Why when I caught my breath, I called him Precious.”

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  19. e platypus onion says:

    Sorry Lorraine in Spring,Darrell Issa doesn’t do nothing,his brother does it. Matter of record.

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  20. Hats off to davidl – he puts out some really funny stuff!

    http://my.firedoglake.com/davidl/2013/11/14/federal-cameras-in-womens-restrooms-revealed/

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  21. Here in Vermont we’re used to getting Canadian news but I see that Rob Ford is going National in the USA. Let me tell you what I get out of all that coverage; If he’s a crack addict who takes Heroin and oxycontin and stays that fat, what hope is there for the rest of us??

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  22. Hidden cameras in Iran are looking for an atomic bomb. Here, johnnycams are hunting for the elusive atomic bum.

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  23. The dangerous “atomic bum” might erupt into a nuclear emission.

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  24. That Other Jean says:

    “The dangerous ‘atomic bum’ might erupt into a nuclear emission.”

    Clearly, you have never met my cat. Pheeeeeeeew!

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  25. Aye! Now I need a “bath” for my eyes and brain!! 😉

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  26. Poe’s Law deals with the problem you had with this information. Form Wikipedia, “without a clear indication of the author’s intent, it is difficult or impossible to tell the difference between an expression of sincere extremism and a parody of extremism.”

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe's_law

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